John's Grandfather passed away late yesterday afternoon. We'll be busy this week with the final goodbyes. What I find the saddest about the ordeal is that between us there are no longer any grandfathers. Years and years of history are now gone, as our own representatives during WWII are gone.
It has been a challenge trying to explain what is happening to Jack. Nate and Maddie are really too little to understand, but Jack is a thinker. Any answer we give him, there are always 12 more. For instance, we told him Great Grandpa was in heaven with God and Jesus. But we also told him we have to go to a Wake and Funeral. After explaining "wake" and "funeral" he wants to know why we have to do that if Granpa is already in heaven? What happens to your bones, do they go to heaven too? Can you walk in heaven if your bones are in a coffin in the ground (I swear he asked that).
Then we try to explain, no your soul goes to heaven. That is an entire can of worms I cannot even begin to write about since there would be pages and pages. John actually resorted to explaining a person's soul by comparing what happened to Granpa to a Tom and Jerry Cartoon the kids watched Saturday while I was at work. Remember the episode where Tom rides the escalator up to heaven....? Oy!
I went to the bookstore and got a couple of things I thought may help. There is also a VERY loveley book called "Tear Soup" but it was kinda over my kids' heads, so I got "When dinosaurs die" instead. It was illustrated by Marc Brown, so all the dinos look like Arthur Characters, but it explains things pretty well. There isn't really any all encompasing books out there, so I have to skip over the parts where "people die from accidents, sometimes they die suddenly and sometimes the die from DRUG OVERDOSES". He's smart, but not smart enough to know I changed the words to "Old people go into the hospital if they get sick and then they go talk to God and Jesus in Heaven". It seems to work. I am currently looking for Maria Shriver's books "What's Happening to Grandpa" and "What is Heaven" About Alzheimer's and Heaven respectively, but I can't find them anywhere. Sigh. Maybe I'll try the library, but I have such a big fine there, it's actually cheaper for me to buy those books....
John went to work in the city today, so I'm sure I'll be fielding a ton of questions today. I have a bit of a cold, so I'm debating whether to get my butt in gear and go work out, or have a p'jammy day here since we'll be busy the rest of the week.
Have a good week everyone. Keep John and his family in your prayers, and ANY suggestions to explain Death and Dying would be appreciated.
2 comments:
Hi Jen,
Please let John know Uncle Bob and I are sorry to hear about his Grandfathers passing.
I looked on-line for your book. Barnes and Noble have it, but I'm not sure how quickly you want it. They say it can ship in 24 hours.
Aunt Eileen
I own "what is heaven". I wept as I read it when my grandma past. You can use it, but I'm not sure when I can get it to you. Please express our deepest sympathy to John and his family. There are always mixed emotions when someone who has been ill passes. You're very sad because you'll miss the spirit of the person they were, but there is a feeling of calmness knowing they know longer have to live the life they were living when they passed. I truly believe he is in heaven at peace watching and maybe laughing at you and your husband comparing "the soul" to a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Truly the best thing I've heard today!!! As for Jack, answer his questions honestly the best you can and if he asks something you don't know, say I don't know. Or what do you think about that. What else can you do? My prayers are with you all.
Love
Jen
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