Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Pay To Play

Lookie what I made for dinner in the crockpot! Yum! It's not vegan, but that's okay. It was some sort of soy/hoisin/orange chicken. Of course Nate slathered his with ketchup and didn't eat it, and Maddie slathered hers with ranch dressing and didn't it it, but John and Jack devoured it. I've given up accommodating for the younger ones. There have been many a nights one or the both of them goes to bed hungry. On to the Pay to Play. Oh yah, I did so totally go there! I'm really sick of the 5:30 a.m. raps to the forehead asking to play wii. Or Jack waking BEFORE 5 to play the stupid ds. So now, I don't care when they play. They just have to pay me first.

How do they earn money? For every minute of reading for Jack and workbook work for Nate they earn a penny. Every penny equals a minute; you see how this plays out? They can earn extra for doing chores and they can lose minutes for being naughty. So far each boy has accumulated 30 minutes. Maddie wanted in on the gig too, so she just does some stuff and I give her pennies. She doens't play wii, but she may just learn a little about spending, saving, and time being money, that whole thing.
Now, aren't I clever? (For the moment anyway).

Monday, February 22, 2010

All Partied Out

I am finally getting around to writing about Bawentine's Day. I wound up supervising/planning 3 classroom parties, so by the time the BIG DAY arrived I didn't even care. It's a stupid "holiday" anyway. On a plus note, we cooked us up some special crab legs just for the event and the kids ate them all. I mean all three kids ate all MY crab legs.

What can I say, they have good taste.

This is Maddie at her class party. I am most proud of this photo because her face isn't too dirty. Really, I don't even know what she's doing here, but her face is relatively spotless, compared to how it usually looks. Nothing says "3 YEAR OLD PARTY IN SESSION" quite like a sticker project. It's easy. And it's cheap.

Okay, I LOVE this. For Nate's party, one of the moms brought in a karaoke machine. Nate got to do a duet with his friend Vivianna---and they did a rousing rendition of "Jesus Loves Me".

This is Nate "reading" the lyrics to "Jesus loves me". He's so serious, and what? Isn't it like the easiest song ever to learn after the Alphabet song? Pshaw.... Really I was just thinking he needed to audition for American Idol or something. I'm sure he'd tell Simon a thing or two...especially since his favorite phrase is "You STINK!". How do you think that would go over with the at home voters?

Ahhh...the Freeze Dance portion of the party. Always a hit. Always!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot decide for you.
I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about drink, but I can't say "no" for you.
I can warn you about drugs, but I can't prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can't achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I can't force you to be gracious.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
~~ Author Unknown

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Inbisobol Guys Strike Again

"Nate, what's that on your belly?"


"There's a red marker mark on your belly."

"Yah, must be someone did that."


"Yah, like those inbisobol peoples or somefing."

Must be somefing in the water.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Olympic Goals

Last night we watched the opening ceremonies. Actually, Jack was the only one who made it all the way thru with me, but we had fun talking about who Wayne Gretzky is. He's kinda getting into hockey now, which is quite awesome.

Anyway, watching the parade of athletes, Nate was not so much interested in their respective sports, or athletic abilities. Instead, he had this bit of wisdom to share:

"Wow. Look at all those guys walking."
"Yup, Nate, they're all in the Olympics."
"Mom, wouldn't it be SO TOTALLY AWESOME if one of them farted RIGHT NOW!"

"Yup. So totally awesome".

So at four if his greatest accomplishments are fart noises and booger jokes, what happens when he's a teenager?

Monday, February 08, 2010

Crying over NonFat NonSpilled Soy Milk

I didn't even give them almond milk this morning. I swear. Apparently, my two favorite young boys decided they did, and as I showered before work this morning, their conversation apparently went a little somethin' like dis:

J- "I hate Almond milk. Why did mom give it to me today? She promised she wouldn't buy it anymore."

N-"Yah, me too. I hate this milk".

J-"Maybe daddy, you and mom can get separate and not live together anymore and we'll come live with you so that we don't have to drink yucky milk anymore".

N-'Good Idea Jack!"

I feel the love, don't you? My own children, turned against me over something I never even did.

Guess it's the price you pay when trying to be uber healthy. Daddy thought this whole conversation was hilarious. Apparently there's going to be a health-food mutiny in this house very soon. If I suddenly disappear, I'm probably tied up somewhere being forcefed soda pop, full fat cows milk, and some form of pork. Send out the rescue squad!

Monday, February 01, 2010

The Pinewood Derby Subtitled: Boy Scouts; My OTHER Part Time Job

Last weekend, Jack had his Boy Scout Pinewood Derby. For those of you who don't know, you are basically given a block of wood, told to carve into a racing vehicle and expected to race to win at a bit "Pack" event. There is a lot involved, apparently, and for a person whose missing anything resembling a creativity gene, it's also very overwhelming.

Thus, Jack was allowed to design the car himself. John had to help him carve it, but we made Jack do everything else "all by himself", sorta. His orginal idea was to design a racing army Tank with the Monopoly Guy driving it. We couldn't find a Monopoly guy, but went ahead with the tank design, even though tanks aren't particularly known for their speed in Taladega.

John cut it, or carved it, or sawed it, or whatever it is. Jack had to sand it and paint it on his own. Here he is heading out to race his tank.
This is an aerial shot. He did all that camo work on his own. Check out the gun on top. Sweet. Side view. He wanted a star on it, so I helped with that. It looks like a glittery blob. How embarrassing.

This is something I wanted him to be proud of. At the race (which by the way lasts ALL day because you have to do several heats, etc) you can certainly tell which cars are kid created, and which kids had a bit more help. And by a bit more I mean some parents pretty much live uber vicariously thru their kids, and that is not how we roll over here. The cars are weighed (it's a BIG deal) and at the last second Jack was hot glue gunning pennies to the underbelly of the tank. There is some sort of serious science and strategy involved that I can not process in my pea brain, so Jack didn't really win anything per se. Their was a design competition, and the only way he's going to win that is if they really vote on if the cars look like they were kid created. Otherwise, we haven't a hope in Hell. There were some really cool designs. I think he was proud, even if he lost. I stressed to him how proud I was that he designed it and created something so cool all on his own. AND in my book you get creativity points for having the idea of a racing tank complete with a gun on top and potentially the Monopoly Guy driving it. Now, I have to run. I have another Boy Scout meeting to attend tonight. And events this weekend, and the following two weekends, Fridays and Saturdays.
Really, busy moms are totally underpaid.