The "MotherHood Myth"

"Being a Mom is the GREATEST THING EVER"! I actually cringe when I hear someone say those words, or read them in written form. Either the author/speaker is a liar, or overly enthusiastic about what is by all accounts the most terribly wonderful thing ever.

I don't know why this is on my mind. Can't explain it really. I read a quote by Felicity Huffman in the book, "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids". It's a good read. During an interview, she was asked if being a mom was the best job she's ever had. She responded (paraphrased) that she resented that question because if you answer honestly that you are not LOVING every single waking, puking, floor pacing, rip your heart out during routine well baby shots, clean the floor for the 8 thousandth time that day, wash another load of laundry moment you must be a bad mother. Society, and other moms expect those of us who stay at home to have those feelings, and as Felicity very clearly pointed out, sometimes that is just bunk.

Is being a mom great? Sure. But I hate saying it's the "BEST THING EVER"!! That implies that your entire existence as a mom is just that. An entire existence as a mom. You have no outside interests. No hobbies, nothing that separates the YOU from the THEM, and for sheer sanity's sake you need to have a ME and YOU separation from your kids.

It's like saying that your wedding day is the best day of your life. I got married 7 years ago. That implies that in 7 years I haven't had a really good day since. Not so. I loved my wedding. Loved the wedding day. Probably loved the days I spent at the swim up bar on the honeymoon even more. Do you get where I'm going with this???

I can't say that the days my kids were born were the best days of my life either. Happy, absolutely. But I do not consider it even a good day when I'm writing in agony, puking for 8 hours every 3 minutes (with each contraction), and have a blood transfusion looming over my head. Not the BEST DAY EVER.

It just implies too, that all the little moments don't really count. You have to have some BIG event to make a day special or memorable. Sledding with the kids on Friday was by far one of the best days of my life. We were out as a family, having a GREAT time, and I thought as I held Maddie while going down the hill..."THIS is the great stuff".

I do love being home, but I don't love every second or every minute of it. I love that a lot of my friends stay home and we can coffee clutch and commisserate together. I love being in control of how I want my kids raised and disciplined, and shown love at random times during a day. We do lots of hugs.

But, being a mom is not the pinnacle of my life. That just sets up failure in other areas of my life. I love my kids, they are amazing, funny, adorable little creatures. But I want them to know that they can do anything they want to in life, and not have to be slotted as just one thing. Good luck to them!!!

I know other mommy's read this blog. Do any of you ever feel like you've lost who you are, and just need to break away, just a little bit to be something more, and the best YOU that YOU can be?

Sheesh, now I sound like a girl scout campaign! Ugh!