Saturday, December 23, 2006

A Dad-ism in Action

My dad rocks. This is him holding Maddie. We sometimes call him the Ninja because he disappears radomly and we don't know where he is. All in all though, he's a pretty handy guy to have around.

Anyway, to put a dad-ism into real world useage, today my refrigerator took a shit. Nothing is staying cold in it. John jimmy rigged it to work over the holiday, but he jazzed it all up and I think we need a new one. I tried calling dad for advise, but I couldn't find him today, oh well. John fooling with electronic things is a little scary, but hopefully this will make do. Dad can check it out before church tomorrow, I hope.

Oh, and dad, if you read this, thanks for putting in my new hot water tank when my old one took a shit.

Like I said, he rocks.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

More Grandma-isms

You know it's a going to be a great day when a classic Grandma-ism is uttered by one of the 6 year olds you work with. This happened to me on Saturday.

I was helping the kids do a puzzle, but told them to switch a couple of pieces because they were "jazzed up". The kids said, "Yah, Miss Jen, it's sorta all jazzed up." This was one of those "you touch more lives than you know" moments. Grandma will never know the kid, but the kid will always have Grandma's phrase to use at will.

I originally thought the phrase "jazzed up" came from my dad, but he gives credit to Grandma, so there you go. If we're talking phrases my dad made up, I think my favorite of his happens to get used when something is broken. When said item is broken, it "took a shit" figuratively speaking. As in, "We need a new dishwasher, our old one got jazzed up and took a shit."

Grandma does have other good phrases though. I personally love the term "crap-shit". This term is to be used liberally over the holiday season, as in: "Look at all the crap-shit that's on sale at Walmart." I am sure that 90% of my kids gifts from Santa and others will be crap-shit as well. Say it out loud, it just makes you smile. Double entendre or not, crap-shit is just fun.

The last Grandma-ism for the day is "Dorky-dork". I enjoyed this term this past Thanksgiving when she refered to my dad as a dorky-dork. Not only is he a dork (a term not used enough past the 70's for sure), but he's also dorky on top of that. The man who still ownes and wears a pair of Bear's Zubaz pants is indeed, a "Dorky-dork".

Feel free to use any of the above. Somehow someday they'll make it into Webster's. Hey, you never know.....

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

She found em!

Maddie found her feet. Don't they look delish?
So sweet and innocent, and she's a peanut too. According to the charts, she's 90th percentile height, 30th for weight. Her features are more petite than the boys too. I don't know what to do with this tiny baby girl. She takes after her dad's side of the family for sure!

Betcha didn't know

That the Star of David did not lead to Bethlehem. It led to my backyard. Though the pics are Grainy (hey, it's a holy star), this is what I see when I look out my kitchen window. Yes, the lighted strings extend over several houses and multiple yards are used to support the thing. O Holy night. The star is brightly my backyard.

A 3 yr. Old's Special Christmas

Last week I sent Jack out with my sister in law to pick out ornaments for his teacher's Christmas gifts. With things like this, I like to let Jack make his own choices, that way, the gift is truly from his own heart. For whatever reason Miss Rose HAD TO HAVE the cowboy Santa. It is still unclear as to why.

This is the star of the Christmas show at school. Everyone was dressed in holiday style. Not Mr. Individuality. I let him choose his own clothes in the morning. Yellow sweats on a cold day, though not festive was quite appropriate.
He's going to have an awesome Christmas. He's getting everything he wants, save for a Light Saver like Dark Gator has. He doesn't need assistance with weaponry, he turns sticks in the backyard into swords, and he certainly cannot have a toy from Star Wars, which he's never even seen.

Still, to be a kid again and get everything you want. Now THAT'S Christmas.

Friday, December 15, 2006

He said WHAT???

Yesterday I had to pump because the Divine Miss M was sleeping so much. I was informed by my 3 year old that "Mommy, your Boo Boo's do an excellent job getting squeezed and making milk for Madilynn. Excellent, mommy. Excellent".

Oh, and did you know that Baby Cheeses went to sleep in a nature up in Heben? He did Mommy, he did.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Everyone knows Nate

This is funny, really. Today, I rushed Jack to school and was getting ready to rush Maddie to the doc when my good friend Jenny said she'd take Nate to play with her little one. It worked out perfectly, and according to her, he was fine. I still think she's making part of that up, he's a boy, they get ornery.

Anyway, upon rushing back from the doc to see Jack's Christmas program in time, I met Jenny back at school. We were sitting together watching our children and conversing when she casually threw in an "Oh, by the way. Nate bumped his head in the playroom, but I didn't see a bump or blood." I was amused, only because everyone is just a little nonchalant now about Nate and his damn head wounds. He IS fine, really. And I'm glad he did it at her house because if ever I were questioned about abusing him, I can send DCFS directly and "do not pass go" to church, the gym, my grandmother, and my friend Jenny.

It is a relief that if he's going to hurt himself, it's not always on my watch. So says Mom of the Year.

Sick kids

Every one of em. Thank goodness there's only 3. Jack has pharyngitis and upper respiratory issues, Nate has an ear infection, and Maddie at the moment is only viral.

This however, has not stopped Jack from trying to sneak marshmallows and chocolate chips for breakfast. Here's dummy me telling the doc that "yah, his appetite has been low lately". Well DUH! It's because he is up at 5:30 sneaking the marshmallows you bought to have family bonding time and make Rice Krispy treats with. Just like the commercials, I had planned on spending loving, quality time baking with my boys and licking batter. I can hear the music in the background..."oooh, oooh, oh, somewhere over the rainbow...."

Nope! Plans ripped to shreds with evidence of gnarled Marshmallows which have now gotten hard from all the teeth holes in the bag. The tune continues...
"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the KIDS are far behind me...where troubles TURN INTO lemon drops and I get to take a hot shower...somewhere over the rainbow"


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Another Great...

Blog to read:

This chick just rocks with her intelligence and insight into life in suburbia.

Check her out.

Things I can't believe I just said...

I'm eventually going to make a list. For today, it's

"Nathan, stop. Nathan....stop. STOP EATING THE PAINT!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!"

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Just some photos

Um, Guys? Do I LOOK like I wanna be a cowboy?

Look at the Happy baby girl!

Evil Elves

In working on doing my Christmas card, this is one of the pics we got. Pretty accurately depicts life here at the ranch.

19 Weird facts

About death...

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The best smile

I haven't posted any photos of Miss M. lately and these are already a month old, but she has a great smile and laugh, even if she has the look of a balding old man. My mom gets mad because I call her Larry. When her hair is drying the little fuzz on the sides stick out and she looks like Larry from the 3 Stooges. The other day my sis in law took Maddie's baptism photo home and remarked how much like her father this kid looks. She does. And sometimes it's scary. She's a Mini John.
Madilynn seems so tiny to me compared to the gigantors the boys were at her age, but Hubby's family are like little Irish Leprechauns. They're all short and tiny, but have the biggest, most fun personalities. His Grandma was a firecracker for sure, and sometimes I ask Maddie if she's Grandma C reincarnated. Usually she laughs at me or smiles big, but I'm sure she really doesn't know what she's so smiley about...or maybe she does.

That's okay though, John's grandma rocked and I miss her. I just hope that if my daughter's genes truly carry from that side of the family that she has the spitfire in her that all the women on that side do. She's going to have to contend with these boys somehow!!!

Refreshed on Mexican Food

Tonight I went to a wedding shower in the city at a Mexican restaurant, near Wrigley, in fact. It was awesome, we had Mexican food, Margaritas, and Dos Equis beer. There were about 30 women there, and I got to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this upcoming wedding for my friend. Kristin was such a Godsend when I got married, she was a HUGE help.

I have been very blessed to have such awesome friends, but that's neither here nor there. This was probably the best shower I've ever been to, very laid back and casual, people got to talk to one another and have good conversations, and the food was Awesome. Watching her open gifts made me want to get married all over again, mostly so I could get some new stuff. I will NEVER go through what I went through when I got married again. Next time I'm eloping.

In fact, I wanted to elope (and now I'm rambling), or at least get married somewhere tropical, on a beach maybe with a bonfire and a pig roast. Hubby of the Year however, wanted to do the traditional thing, and I still am not sure why. To this day he says he wishes he could have spent more money so that it was a little nicer (for me). He was 23 and we did the best we could since we paid for most of it ourselves. It was fine.

Besides, I didn't need a HUGE beautiful wedding, (although it turned out perfect for me). I wound up with a beautiful marriage and 6 years and 3 kids later here we are (Our anniversary is next Saturday) still having a good time and waiting for the "hard" part of marriage to kick in.

So now that I have been refreshed with good food and conversation, and a bout of writing, I'm going to stagger exhaustedly up to bed.

Buenos Suertes!!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

How could you not

Love this....

Thank you You tube for letting people video tape their tvs.


Thoughts and Prayers

I heard two things today that made me thank God for my blessings. I may not have anything to wear to my friends shower Saturday, I may only have one pair of jeans that fit, but I have 3 normal, healthy kids. I've got a million dollar family, really, and when I think of all the "THINGS" I'd like to have that I don't, I just remember what I do have and I am grateful.

I got an e-mail from a friend whose husband is very ill with viral encephalitis. I won't say her name, but I will ask for prayers. She has 2 young kids, babies really. Please keep her in your thoughts, hopefully the power of prayer will work and everything will be just fine. Having been thru Super Hubby's cancer scare recently, I can imagine how she feels and my heart is with her.

That is, my heart is with her if it can be torn in a million pieces thinking of a little girl at Jack's school (not in his class) who was found to have an AVM.

SHE IS FOUR YEARS OLD!!! She is having BRAIN surgery twice later in this month. And my husband and I thought it was a crisis that our STUPID TREE FELL DOWN!!! How awful are we??? Granted, we didn't know, but our problems are so so small. It is true that the Lord only gives us what we can handle because the worst I could handle was 2 kids hospitalized with Rotavirus, not BRAIN DISORDERS!! Think of her, please, and if you believe in a higher being (which I do, but question my beliefs on God and all that...another blog) pray pray pray for this little soul, and count your own blessings when your family sits down to Christmas dinner that someone YOU love is not in the hospital fighting for either their life or some semblance of normalcy from what their life used to be.



The tree is up. I did it today with a little help from Captain Jack. Yesterday/last night was a different story...

It was seriously like something from a movie. Daddy-Oh thought he could at least get the tree up himself. I came home from grocery shopping to some seriously dirty looks. I had to throw some things in the freezer and proceed to breastfeed, so Daddy had to put the rest of the groceries away. The tree fell. Water and gunk were all over our new carpet.

True to Clark Griswold and the Dad in a Christmas story I think I heard mutterings out of my husbands mouth that in 30 years on earth I've never heard before. I'm not sure I understood what some meant. He actually told Jack that the tree fell because he (daddy) put in new carpet. I was nursing and trying to hide giggles behind my hand, because no holiday is complete without a semi-disaster. I half expected him to run across the street and saw the neighbors tree down and have to chase squirrels out of my living room all night.

Karma got me though, Nate crapped in the tub and had to clean it up. HE thought THAT was funny. Ugh!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Injury of the Day (A Report)

Life is a dangerous sport for Nater Tater lately. In fact, after I told my mom about his latest head injury, she told me I shouldn't be taking him to the grocery store, people are going to think I abuse him. Since he's had 2 incident reports written on him in less than 24 hours, I feel relatively safe rom being arrested at least. However, there are those "questioning glances".

An Explanation:

Yesterday (Sunday) we did our usual routine of running out the door 5 minutes later than we should to get to church. I always take the kids into the sanctuary for the first 15 minutes, after which time Pastor does a children's service, and my kids go to the nursery to play. After church Jack goes to Sunday school, (which incidentally he missed yesterday). All was going well until I took communion and on heading back to my pew, the nursery babysitter came to get me. She was young, but her mom who runs it was there, so I felt safe leaving the kids. Poor Nate had fallen and hit his head. NASTY bump.
So Nasty we almost went to the ER because I was afraid of a skull fracture.

However, I knew he was okay when he broke free from my loving embrace (to hold on an icepack) to eat the donuts that the old people put out for "fellowship" time.

He's fine, by the way. Pastor called last night to see how he was doing, and so did the Nursery Lady. We win an award for sustaining the first injury in the nursery. They never saw my boys coming.

Explanation 2: I try to take the boys swimming every Monday since John works from home. Went early today and was mid-exercise class when the gym babysitter came to tell me that Nate bit his lip and now has a swollen, bleeding lip. Nice.

So, not only does my baby have a head wound he also has a fat lip. As I said, my butt is covered thanks to incident reports. Otherwise, with such an accident prone kid, I may be writing my next blog from the confines of a Child Protective Services Lockdown facility.

Merry Christmas, right?

Saturday, December 02, 2006

The Tree

I just wanted to let everyone know that 8 days after sawing down an evergreen in the middle of a forest it is still sitting in my garage undecorated. The goal is to get it up today. Just letting you all know. Christmas Queen is having a tree crisis.

I don't wanna get off on a rant here....

But I really do. There are just things that have been bugging me to no end.

Like, what the HELL is the BIG deal with this Barak Obama anyway? I get it. He's an Illinois Senator who may run for president. I don't know about other states, but this dude is EVERYWHERE. On Oprah. On the news. On Entertainment Tonight. In the papers. On the radio. ENOUGH!!! He's a senator who doesn't seem do be doing any "senating". Just traveling around signing his stupid books. What does he stand for as a Senator anyway? What's he accomplishing in Washington if he's traveling around writing and signing books? Get off your high horse, and do something other than talk about how awesome your trip to Africa was. Be an effective representative for me, will ya?

And another thing. Occasionally I will flip on the t.v. during the day, maybe catch 2 or 3 minutes of Oprah, or the View. Oh, the View. ROSIE. I personally have had ENOUGH of her and can't stand to even think about turning that show on. She dominates every conversation. She interrupts the other hosts. All she can talk about is how everything goes back to being a lesbian and frankly, Rosie dear, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!! It's not all about you and your oppression. You are not a good example of a "strong woman with a voice." You're a has been trying to come back. Do something other than thinking you're so cute and funny. Stop calling grown men "Cutie Patooties". You, Rosie, are annoying and are ruining the show. Take that Barbara Walters!!

And really, ENOUGH with Kanye West!! Do you REALLY think that DUBYA hates blacks, or were you just trying to make a stupid statement and sell records? I've heard the non radio approved lyrics to "Golddigger". Do you really think that they're appropriate to be spitting out and then claim WHITE MAN RACISM? Why aren't more people pissed about this? Seriously! I'm with the Dixie Chicks on this one. Practice Freedom of Speech all you want, but then don't go and complain that WHITE MAN keeps you down and then go and use that N word about 800 times in a 3 minute song. Gain some self respect Mr. West. And I'm pretty sure DUBYA doesn't hate blacks, but after your comment, I wouldn't blame him for having personal issues with you. Don't get me wrong on this either. I'm not a DUBYA fan lately. I too,am embarrassed he's from Texas. Hell, at this point I'm also embarrassed I voted for him and feel like a lot of innocent American TEENAGE blood is on my hands thanks to our crappy war in Iraq policy, but that's another rant.

Right now I'm just hoping the war ends before I have to think of sending my beautiful baby boys to Canada (I don't care if it's illegal, I WILL do it). DUBYA and his crappy war are not laying hands on my flesh and blood, especially since we don't know what we're fighting for anymore anyway.

In conclusion, in the words of the wise Forrest Gump: That's all I have to say about that.

Until tomorrow at least.