Today while I was cleaning my new kitchen cabinets (and damn! There's a lot of them) I found some things that may be considered 'treasures'. I haven't finished the whole kitchen but so far I've found (in addition to the jelly beans and now n laters)
1.) What I THINK may be a gold tooth. Or the molding for one. It's weird.
2.) A receipt for something that costs about $35, and the delivery fee is to take some old lady to Whole Foods. Double Weird.
3.) A fun and dusty Pinata whacking stick. I promptly hid that from the boys and they STILL found it and STILL turned it into a weapon. You'd swear all my kids did was watch Violent T.V., but unless Mr. Rogers is violent, well, they don't get it from the media. Nature vs nurture is a funny experiment in my house.
4.) A box of Raspberry Jello. Threw it out since I'm allergic to Jello.
5.) And the kicker of all kickers? On one of the highest shelfs (I had to climb a ladder to clean it, it's that high) I found an illustrated guide How-To book on Sensual Massage. Grossety gross gross!!
I feel violated! Maybe I'll find something decent tomorrow. Seriously, who keeps gold teeth and massage manuals in their kitchen? Especially when they made off with a bunch of light plates and outlet covers. How do you forget THAT?
EW EW EW EW EW!!!
3 comments:
Here's what happened (I called the previous owners so I know). Person takes old lady to Whole foods. Lady is one of those very healthy and still in shape types. Has it all together still, you know! Still has a sex drive all that good stuff. So she takes the delivery guy back to her house and introduces him to jello wrestling. In Raspberry because strawberry is so last year. And she bought an extra box see because sometimes it melts too quickly when in contact with body heat and you can never be too ready. Meanwhile that stuff is slippery so while they are slapping each other with the pinata stick (it was Cinco de Mayo that day) someone slips and knocks out a tooth on the tub. Not the old lady of course because she still had all of her originals. The delivery guy lost it. So they had to use that old fall back: The Sensual Massage Guide. Keep cleaning girl, keep cleaning!
Your comment is funnier than my actual blog. I called Cheryl right away and told her to read what you wrote. Good good good stuff here!
Girls, you rock! Julianne - that was original! Man, I miss you! Whole foods sounds like a fun place. I think a trip is in order......$35 is not so bad, and I like Jello! Yum. C.
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