Wednesday, September 26, 2007
This is how they look when the bow and say hello. Respect at all times is a must. Also, note the belt, tied in 'fortune cookie' fashion which also happens to be a pain in the ass to get just right.
KIYA! Working on that whole balance thing.
Ferociously he falls down. I didn't think I would, but I do love Karate. "Put him in a body bag Johnny!"
(Kudos to those of you who know THAT quote!")
Jack's just getting the hang of it. An 18 foot slide is tough to maintain.
I LOOK LIKE I'M WEARING MATERNITY CLOTHES AND WEIGH ABOUT 50 LBS MORE THAN I DO!!!
These cute little peasanty tops that are so in style apparently are NOT flattering, because although my shorts were a size 6, I could have fooled anyone that they had that elastic band 'eatin' pants' look of maternity wear.
The best thing about my photo is that my face is acne free. But the rest of me looks like a balloon, and I KNOW I'm NOT a FREAKING BALLOON!!! I'm no Twiggy, but I'm no Anna Nicole either, and by this photo you can't even tell the difference.
And how shallow that all I see in this picture is how gigantor I look as opposed to appreciating a good time catching up with friends I haven't seen in years.
I'm so gonna burn in hell.
And so are all my fat girl clothes that I'm bringing with me.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Note Jack's little turtle. It's a school project. "Speedy" goes with him everywhere for the weekend.
I think we've already lost "Speedy".
Isn't she beautiful?
This is my personal favorite from today. So typical of Nater Tater!
Just riding in the wagon havin' a good time!
Look how beautiful this orchard is! Rows and rows of delicious, ripe apples! Maddie LOVED the apples!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
My friend is waiting on the "cover" like above for her garbage disposal motor. It was so awesome, blogging about it hardly can convey my feelings toward this beautiful device.
Wait, didn't I just write about my drinking problem? How can it be my fault when I have friends who make margaritas in 5 GALLON increments?
It was also brought to my attention Saturday that if you don't really know me, you may think that I have a severe drinking problem, and that maybe I don't really like my kids. So what if I don't like my kids??, I KNOW I don't have a drinking problem!! KIDDING!! Rest assured they are safe in my keeping, as is the multitudes of liquor I have stored for rainy days.....
Gotta Run, cuz hey, it's noon somewhere, right?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
1.) I now have 'flat warts' on my left hand. These warts are unsightly, but caused only by the changes in my immune system during pregnancy and breastfeeding. They can be burned off, but it will leave a scar, so lets just wait a few YEARS for them to resolve themselves. YES, I SAID YEARS!!! I was given a topical immune boosting cream for said area to hope they resolve quicker than a FEW years, maybe it will be just a COUPLE YEARS.
I want to bathe in this cream.
2.) I have developed (during weaning season) an allergy to my wedding rings and can no longer wear them. Unless every few weeks I have them rhodium plated or reset in 24 karat gold. This is caused by hormonal shifts FROM HAVING KIDS!!!
I love my rings. Now I look like crazy white trash with 3 small kids and no rings on my fingers. They all look different enough to speculate if they all have the same father.
3.) I have lost the definition and meaning of the words 'free time". Would anyone care to educate me?
4.) I swear to God I'm still peeing my pants unawares. Did I laugh too hard? Sneeze too many times? Better check the Kotex.
5.) Flat banana boobs. Need I say more?
6.) The Dixie Chicks song "Godspeed" makes me tear up. That alone pisses me off, since I am not a country music fan. Hormones piss me off.
7.) Sleep? What the HELL is sleep? You mean, people don't funtion on a pot of coffee, half a balanced meal, and a bottle of wine a day? Are you sure? Positive?
How has baby-dom and parenthood changed you in unexpected ways? I expected the strech marks, but definitely NOT the warts.
Share with me my friends!!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Anyway, he's fine, just a REALLY bad case of the croup. But I started to freak out when they determined he had a fever, gave him about 4 different drugs (steroids, tylenol, motrin, etc.), and during his 1st breathing treatment started to barf into the mask. At 2 a.m. the only thing going thru my mind was "Oh my God, he's getting worse. It must be West Nile". Why West Nile? I'm not sure. I just know there's a lot of mosquitos out.
These pics were taken right before they took chest and neck x-rays. He thought that was the BOMB! He had to wear an adult gown because his jammies had sick on them, and the kid gowns had snaps at the shoulders (not good for x-rays). When he got into the lab, they put a little pouch on him to protect his boy parts, and he said "Look mom, I'm Obi Wan Kenobi". Yup, he sure did.
After the x-rays, the tech put him on the bed to wheel back down the hall, but he was having none of that until he saw his bones. So she was nice enough to take him in and show him.
They made him take another round of steroids to reduce the swelling in his voice box, and he had to eat a popsicle and keep it down before they let us leave. We got home a little after 3:30 a.m. and I made the executive decision to skip church, heathen that I am anyway.
Believe it or not, according to the ER nurse, Croup isn't contagious. I'm not sure if I believe her, as Maddie sounds hoarse today, but Jack was actually okay to go to school Monday. No fever and he was bouncing off the walls, so I guess he's fine.
Definitely on the mend, at the very least!
And all of the following were in the running to spell Madilynn's name (MADILYNN being the correct spelling).
Made Line never stood a chance with John and his phonetic challenges. Thanks to all who voted!
Friday, September 07, 2007
Trust me, I get her point. But at some level that just reaches the point of emotional instability (yes, folks, it was THAT bad) and then it's not good for anybody.
I read once that as a mother, you know you've done your job if your kids in adulthood really don't 'need' you anymore. Sad as that is, I suppose it's true. My job, essentially, is to get them to the point of being self-sufficient, contributing members of society with a good heart and a spectacular mind.
This segues perfectly into my next point. We've started Jack on a sticker chart for doing his chores. John wants him to learn the value of a dollar, so he can earn about 10 cents for each job he does. His jobs consist of Making his bed, putting away his laundry (easy stuff, like Socks and undies), and 2 x's a week collecting the upstairs garbages. I hold no hope that he'll understand money. I taught first graders who didn't have a clue as to what a dollar was, as money is a VERY abstract concept. My goal is to teach him a bit of responsibility. But is this too much at age 4? I don't know.
He was so cute when I explained that he would be earning money to do his "jobs". He said that if he does enough, maybe he'll have enough money to take us all to Mickey Mouse's house. Trust me when I say that's a lot of bed making! On that point though, he is essentially a good kid. And a very sweet one, when it's on his terms and he feels like being sweet.
Back to school. 4 year old preschool was an easy continuation of last year. I'm sure I'll have more to say when it's GRADUATION DAY (yes, there is a ceremony) and he moves into the 'big kid" school of kindergarten. I keep telling John that one day we will wake up, and he will be going to college and we will be wondering what happened to our little "jack sparrow/power ranger/buzz lightyear/and sometimes fairy princess (but we won't selectively remember that one)"???
For now, I can tolerate hearing "you don't know the power of the darkside" 800 times a day.
Life is beautiful. These kids are beautiful. Even if they drive me to drink!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
So, you've noticed I come every Sunday, and you want me to join. I've been staving you off now, for what, 3 years? The problem is, I don't want to join your little "society". I can't. I don't have the time, energy, affliction, or whatever it takes to be part of something. I bring my kids every Sunday so that they know there is something greater than themselves 'out there'. But here, Church, is my DIRTY LITTLE SECRET.
Every Sunday we come, we pray, we sing. For the first 10 minutes, I have my minions with me. And then, after what you call "Angel Ministry" (a misnomer for sure if you took 2 second to really witness the wrestle mania happening under your noses at the alter IN FRONT OF GOD AND EVERYONE, I send the beasts to the nursery to play. And then, in the quiet of the back row, I have 45 minutes of quiet 'me' time.
Sometimes I doze. Sometimes I try to think of answers to the crossword in the Sunday Trib. Sometimes I Thank God for the peace of the moment since every other day I have a child up my ass 24/7. I get what I need out of church for sure, and I don't need to 'join' to prove it.
I donate a couple bucks every week for offering, don't worry. My envelopes are the ones that Nate has already drawn all over. Scribbles are the hallmarks of our good will and good fortune, tho some weeks I'd rather buy groceries than tithe. I'm sure you understand.
No, really, the best part?
I'm serious. The best part is that his teacher's name is.....
MR. NORRIS!!! How freaking funny is that? No, his first name isn't Chuck, but still. Seriously, you can't make up that a 4 year old's First Karate teacher ever is Mr. Norris. I'm laughing as I type.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Here is one of the maps, complete with burnt "old" edges and everything.
Here is the "X" Marks the spot in the first tree. That's how the boys knew where to dig!
Note the torch. At times, small shrubbery was in real danger of going up in flames. Here, Jack and Opa find the buried map, and reveal the next clue.
This is the boys before the hunt. Uncle Richie had a "pick axe" weapon, for what I'm not really sure. They all had on their pirate do- rags and were ready for the adventure.
I'm not sure how this picture got in here at this point, but it's great grandma with 4 of her great grandkids. It has nothing to do with the Treasure Hunt.
Here are Opa and Jack, digging away!
Finding another map, and following the directions to the actual treasure! The writing is red, and depicts the pirate "code". For some reason, there was also a bottle of Captain Morgan (Yo ho ho and a bottle of ) Rum buried. I think Nate wanted to drink it.
All in all, my boys had a great time, and what a creative way to spend an evening! Mom Of The Year that I am, I loaded them up with Bugspray, and took lots and lots of photos. Opa of the year sent them on one sweet adventure!