Saturday, September 24, 2011

On Bios and Goodbyes

I mentioned in the last post that I have joined a writers group. We meet once a month, and our first assignment, due in about 10 days is to write a bio about ourselves. Some people are going to do it the easy way, they've already stated. That includes basic stats. For me that would be: born: June 23, 1976, Hair Color: Brown, Eye Color: Green Height about 5'7", Weight: irrelevant.
Occupation: Wild animal wrangler, AKA Mother of 3.

I want to write my bio to be more personal though. I could write a dissertation on my feelings about Neopolitan ice cream and how on so many levels it's wrong, my distaste for the word "moist", and how I'm pretty sure Almond Joy and that other crappy Halloween candy, the coconut one are bred from Communistic ideas of what constitutes edible candy. I could say I'm a Developmental therapist and go on to explain what that is, but I'm standing firmly ground in the belief that WHO I am is not necessarily WHAT I do.

I'm a reader, a writer, a faith seeker, a do-gooder (sometimes), a family chef, and a lullaby singer. But that's just what I do. It doesn't really describe me or separate me from the pack of other mom's who work both in and out of the home. Thus, I am relatively stumped and have a little over a week to figure myself out.

On my journey of self-discovery this past week, I have decided that I am without a doubt a person who has a hard time with Goodbyes. That's long-term goodbyes. This has come to a head as I recently found out that Nate's Occupational Therapist has resigned from the clinic we both work at to follow another path. In fact, today is her last day, and at this very moment I am at the aforementioned clinic with him for his very last OT session with this modern day Annie Sullivan. We are here to say good-bye, and I am having more difficulty with this than ever I thought I would.

Last night I was describing this aching sense of loss I feel for this woman to another co-worker and also a dear, dear friend as she was on a long drive through Iowa. She started to console me by saying, "I know she's leaving but she has given you so many tools and strategies to get you through" at which point I totally cut her off. "Look, I'm sad on a personal level, as she's been my own miracle worker, but on a professional level I'm feeling a sense of HUGE loss. I have learned more about the sensory system from her than any course or book or handout out there. She has no idea what she has done for me".

And that is the crux of it, isn't it? So very rarely we have the prescience of mind to know when we are in the presence of a true jewel of a person, and so, when it comes time to let go and let them go, it becomes a bittersweet battle royale. I wish her the best in all she does, but like a tantrumming 2 year old I want to shout out, "DON'T GO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!". We've all had our good-byes that were necessary endings and we didn't think twice about, like forever leaving behind high school, or that crappy job you had at the dry cleaners for a few summers. But when we have to say goodbye to someone or something that is so inherently good for the soul, and who has held you, and taught you, and been an example of a standard you strive to achieve, well, those are the hardest of all.

Can I write all this in my bio due next week? I could, but it doesn't really describe me, just frames a few thoughts on how I feel. So I won't put it down on paper for my peer group to critically assess.

I will though, keep good thoughts and prayers sent out into the universe for my Annie Sullivan's continued career success. You have touched our lives in so many ways you will never know, and will continue to touch others with your gentle words and healing hands.

Good Luck Lynn. You will be missed.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

OhGawd....It's Time To Get Back to the Swing of It...

It's been a while, I know. But in my defense I've been on an exciting journey of self discovery and spiritual growth and some other mumbo jumbo that has keept me to quote Lloyd Dobbler, "Monumentally Busy." Summer was a blur, an absolute flew by so fast I'm not sure it really happened blur, and I think I was the only person I knew who was sad when school started because we did everything and yet NOTHING all summer.
Things we did included:

+5 triathlons, one of which was in Omaha. Jack completed his first KID'S tri and I have never been more proud. It was AWESOME! I also did a tri fairly close to home called "She Bangs" because the sea weed infested lake that we swam in is called Bangs Lake

+Camping. Overnight. In tent in Wisconsin (I freaking LOVE Wisconsin. You all have no idea how much). In a rainstorm. Very long story short, we were camping in the middle of all those horrific rainstorms in July courtesy of my brilliant planning and impeccable timing. It rained so much the first night the roof of our tent made a bowl and water dripped in, until it really just poured in so at 3 a.m. up we went to the local Walmart and hung out until the storm passed. We spent the entirety of that day drying our crap by a campfire only to be rained out AGAIN for night 2. At 6 a.m. we called it quits, literally threw our crap in the car and got the hell out. The kids, to their credit were AWESOME and they want to go camping again. I say not until we get the Weathermaster Twenty Twelve Tent from Coleman.

+Working. Good lord I have been putting in craptacular hours. In case you didn't know, it's really a pain in the ass to start your own business. The logistics and the paperwork are really cumbersome. And then....Oh and then...every quarter I have to pay taxes. Damn but that hurts. Apparently when you are self employed you pay extra social security or some such nonsense. What the what?

+ The boys got to go to Great America. Twice. Once with Daddy, because they got free tix via a reading program at school, and once with their BFF's for their friends' B-days. Glorious.

+ VBS and Boy Scout Camp. Also known as "slight respite for a desperate mother".

+ Loads of pool time. Even Maddie was jumping off the high dive by mid July. That's 3 meters of awesomeness.

+ Baseball. Lots and Lots of baseball. And, as it turned out, Jack hit the game winning homer to win the overall championship. But I'm not going to brag about it or anything. The best part of the baseball season was the TEAM. I really bonded with the other coaches wife and the other moms. They were and awesome group of people to spend all those hours and hours and hours with. I'm not kidding. I loved it.

+Drive in movies....Kung Fu panda for Jack's birthday party (yes! 4 bucks a kid!) and even a double feature with Cars 2 and Mr. Popper's Penguins. Of course, by 11:15 they were all asleep....

What we didn't get to this summer:
+ Dammit, not ONCE did we make it downtown, and that is ALWAYS a goal of mine. Hello aquarium (which will cost an arm and a leg to go to)...didn't get there once.

+No museums either. Really? How does THAT happen?

+Zero instances at the farmer's market. Too busy. And that hurt.

+Zero sightings at anything resembling cultural growth. Although we did see Aladdin at the Marriott, maybe that counts?

So what are we doing now? I'm working my tail off. John got a promotion so he is now a Senior Manager at Accenture. I don't know what that means. All I know is that he's in the top 1% of his company and he does magic with math and computers. He's like Chandler Bing...nobody knows what he does....and I am a-okay with that.
The kids are in school full swing. Maddie is LOVING full day kinneygarten. Nate is, eh about first grade, and I have my fingers crossed that Jack has turned a corner. There is no arguing about school work. There are no fights when I say it's time to read... he just does it. I vaguely wonder if I have a little Alfred Hitchcock angel on my shoulder.
Me? I've been writing like a fiend. Maybe someday I will be published, but for now I've joined a writers group and am persuing the craft with some good friends, spending a morning here and there at a local coffee shop talking about writing. I love it.
I'm also following in my dad's footsteps and seeking wisdom, knowledge and guidance wherever I can.

I subscribe to Podcasts from Willow Creek ( you all know the Mega church, and no it is not a cult). My favorite speaker as of late is Dr. Henry Cloud. He gave an amazing talk (he's a psychologist) about "Necessary Endings", also the convenient title of his latest book. Google him, he's super cool. And, on the subject of Willow the mega not a cult church, my good friend who is a member there invited me to hear Temple Grandin speak! I. am. SO. Excited. If you don't know who she is, then you're not in my biz, but google her too. So inspiring. And I'm gonna try and get continuing ed credits from that one for sure!

So that's us in a nutshell. I promise to get better about my writing. It's good for me. Oh! I forgot to mention that my new latest hobby that has been sucking the life out of me is taking my local school board to task and sending them scathing emails, FOIAing Board Documents, and defending my local teacher's and the kids who are affected by the BoE's crappy policies. I could go on about it forever, but not tonight.

Tonight I end with thoughts of how my 3 fantasy football teams will do tomorrow, and with a small smile of knowing that Jackster gets his 3rd grade Bible in the morning.

Life is good, but damn it goes by fast.