Grandma's 1 Liners

This is me with my grandma's at my Baby Girl shower. One grandma is in her mid 70's, the other in her mid 80's.

They both have these sayings from years ago that crack me up, especially the ones my gram from Kentucky comes up with. It makes me sad to realize that when she's gone, a wealth of polite language that people never use with each other anymore will also disappear. For instance, if we don't talk for a couple of weeks she'll phone and say "I haven't heard from you in a month of Sunday's". It's a nice way of saying "I'm old, you're a shit, get off your duff and call me."

My dad's mom cracks me up with her sayings too, but for a different reason. The woman raised 9 kids and I honestly don't know how the hell she did it. I can't even handle three. My favorite one liner from Grandma came when I was complaining about all the "stuff" women/mom's have to do. I do not remember the exact way she put it, but she said something along the lines of how she used to say she had so much to do and "If you shove a broom up my ass I can sweep the floors while I'm doing everything else around here."

How true is that? I feel I live life running between my laundry room, and the kitchen with the cooking and cleaning, and you know what? If I shoved a broom up my ass, the floors WOULD get clean in the process.

Someday, these women will not be around to give me such sage advice and I am going to regret not listening to them more. I really need to start paying better attention to the lessons they're teaching me, even when they're not intending to. Between the two of them they raised 14 kids, so they should know what they're talking about, right?

Right.

PS Isn't that the coolest shirt I'm wearing (Gram would call it a blouse. No one calls dress shirts blouses anymore. Why?) I bought it for $1 at Old Navy. Swear to God. I love that blouse.