We're goin' To Diiisney, We're Going to Diiiisney!

I am psyched for this trip, coming the last weekend in April. We have it all planned out, and with the stay 4 days and get 3 free option, plus not paying for Maddie, we have saved up more than enough. The kids don't know...so if you see them, don't mention it. I can't handle four months of: "Are we going to Disneyworld today?"

Highlights:
We're staying at the Carribean resort (courtesy of GREAT reviews from friends who stayed there) but "upgraded" to the room that looks like a pirate ship.

Maddie and I are getting to do 2 princessy character meals, one with all of them, and one in Cinderella's castle.

We are also going to have a meal with the Little Einsteins, and another with Chef Mickey and Pals.

I've been told I have 4 months to learn my camera.

I'm so ready.

(although any tips and pointers ARE appreciated!)

Aaaaand We're back to Normal!

Doc called Monday to tell me (disturbingly enough) that he was looking at "My nice normal Pap". That is good news, in light of what has transpired over the past week.

Recap: Went in for a pap re-do because of the abnormal one in April and then the precancerous colon polyp incident. I was determined to also have a mammogram script in hand before I left his office.

Outcome: Through conversation and internal exam (always fun, eh, ladies?) doc determined that my cervix didn't look right, and it started bleeding during the pap scrape. Thus, he took out what I dubbed is "matchstick o' fun" and chemically cauterized my cervix. Left without the mammogram script because my doc rationalized how it didn't need to be done yet. (Could've done without the tutorial on how I can never go more than 5 years without a colonoscopy, AND the lecture on HPV and colorectal cancer in the male homosexual population).

In a nutshell: 3 phrases that DO NOT BELONG together, ever: 1.)cervix 2.)Cauterize and 3.)Ashy...yes, I'm gonna write it...it's as bad as moist...DISCHARGE. Ugh. The process itself didn't hurt, the after effects were to say the least uncomfortable.

Hopefully this will clear up the unnecessary bleeding, although for whatever reason I'm still bleeding, and may potentially need more testing if it continues. But I don't care....my Pap was normal and nothing scares me more than random cervical cancer. I searched for 2 days reasons to do a cervical cauterization and couldn't find anything that didn't have something to say about cancer until my friend Jenny dropped everything to find something tangible for me to be able to sleep at night.

So, for the moment, I'm relatively healthy. And I plan to stay that way.

Through a 5 Year Olds Eyes

Today, at Costco, getting gas, Jack exclaims:

"MOM!!! MOM!!! I think I just saw Barack Obama!"

Yes, I think I saw him at the Lake Zurich Costco stocking up too. He needs a lot of tp for that new big house of his.

And later, after school (I swear to all that is in Heaven this was completely RANDOM!!):

"So, Uh, mom, baby pigs when they get borned they come out the moms butt, right?"

Yes, and that is what we call, "The Life Cycle". Have fun in 5th grade son, have fun.

Playing with My Camera

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new Christmas Camera. That being said, I need a tutorial (visual and with an actual USER, not just in the book. I can read, but I learn better by hands on teaching.) Some new Camera pics so far....

Naked baby. Of course.

Nate planning his assault on Jack's Lego thingy.
I swear to God in heaven my son did this all on his own. Every last Lego brick, except for the couple that I had to secure in place. How cool is this thing???

Eat your hearts out, 8 and up guideline makers!!!

I don't know what it is, but it's from Star Wars, and it shoots, pretty much like everything else in the house.

I personally HATE Legos. I can't do them, since my visual spatial capabilities are the size of a pin head, but my verbal skills take over my whole brain.

I'll be that explains a lot to a lot of people.

Movie Quotes

Because I have nothing better to do, and I'm procrastinating cleaning the floors while I listen to the freakishly cool workout cd I made for Cheryl, I made a quiz for you. Like name that tune....name that movie.

1.) "Alright, alright alright. I keep gettin' older, and the girls stay the same age."

2.) "Brother's don't shake hands...brother's gotta hug!"

3.) " Oh it's all right...From one dog to another, I say."

4.) "You have bin errrased."

5.) "I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty. "

6.)" Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about. !"

7.) "Affleck, you the *bomb* in Phantoms yo! "

8.) "Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.' Now there's a concept I can't get enough of, a man and his monkey."

9.) "Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come"

10.) "Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter."

11.) "Put him in a body bag Johnny!"

12.) "You see the salt on this pretzel? Look at the stars. Some people, they say the stars are billions and billions of tons of hot gas. But I think maybe, maybe it's just God's salt. And God's just waiting to eat us. "

Get Out Your Vat of Rubbing Alcohol, You're Gonna Want It

Last night I went in for my girl parts re-check and left all the more wiser on all things HPV. Now, I don't have HPV, but I could get it. And, well, so can you.

Based on my exam, doc confirmed that I will most likely get an abnormal result, and once again the HPV test will be run. I asked that since I didn't HPV last year if it was really necessary, because it's an STD, right?

Welllllll, not exactly. Doc and I had a 10 minute conversation about HPV, and how it is transmitted via skin to skin contact. There are well over 100 variations of the virus, and how it manifests for you depends on your own individual immune system. Some people get warts, some people it doesn't even affect, so while you can get the virus through sexual contact, you can also get it from a kiss, hug or handshake. Essentially 100 % of the population is exposed, whereas with the other STD's only maybe 2% of the population is exposed and they must be treated because they could get sick or potentially die. HPV really can't be cured.

I got my biology lesson and then some, and now so have you. You can find more about HPV here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus

And while all during this conversation I felt enlightened and learned something, I also caught a good case of the Heebie Jeebies and wanted to douse my body in some sort of chemical cleanser. It's like thinking about those skin mites that everyone has. Shiver shiver shiver. Ugh.

But now with the grace of this PSA, you can consider yourself informed. Don't say I didn't warn ya....it's....everywhere.....

The Dog Did It Mom!

Don't let that angelic smile and seemless charm fool you. This kids gunning for an award as The Next Tom Sawyer. No lie. He will get away with it all.

Me, getting ready for shower. Getting towel, turning on water. Hearing, "That's just GAROSS! I'm telling mom!" Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

Enter into my room a 3 and 1/2 ft. tall Darth Vader.

"Mom! There's poop on the floor! The Dog came in and poopeddid on the faloor. It's so gaross!"

Me: "The dog did it! I hate that dog. Let's go check it out."

Sure enough, the dog poopeddid on the floor right in front of the bathroom. Maddie, however, sweet and innocent little girl doing a spectacular job potty training, is running around pants-less. And Panty-less too.

Me: Ummm...Maddie, did you not make it to the bathroom in time? Did you poop on the floor?

She: No mommy!

Me: Naaate, did Maddie poop on the floor?

He: No Mom! The Dog did it!

Me: What dog sweetie?

He: The one that SOMEONE let in and it pooped on the floor and then it ran out!!!!

Me: Stupid dog. Okay, Mads, let's get some clothes on. It's too darn cold to be half nekkid.

I had a little conversation about that dog with John tonight. He needs to train it better.

Then he reminded me we don't have a dog.

How to Be Inspired

I just read about this woman in the paper. What an amazingly inspiring story.

http://www.kindramclennan.blogspot.com/

And So It Begins Again

I have begun my training planning and processing for the summer triathlon series. I'm hoping to do at least 3 this summer, so I've got to get a bit hardcore this year. Expect loyal readers, to be immersed in my exercise and diet world over the course of the next few months.

To start out, I have taken out books from the library giving 'workouts' and tips. I really can't start training now, because I'll wind up overtraining and burn out, but these books give great ideas for off season workouts, dietary info, all that jazz. John is laughing because one book is from "Triathlete Magazine". Triathlete ends in athlete, and well, we all know I'm not really an 'athlete'. I dabble, but I also trip over things, and walk into walls, and until recently when I ran looked like I was going to pull a Mary Lou Retton and take off from the vault. But I'm reading, I'm watching, and I'm trying really really hard.

However, these damn books don't make sense sometimes, I swear. I'm reading them, and am all like, 'What the hell is a fartlek? It's a made up word I'm serious". No, it's not. It is some Swedish running word, something to do with running fast then slow then fast again and you have to measure your VO2 levels and your stride (being on your toes helps somehow?) and I'm all like, "No freaking way I understand this crap". It reminded me of that one episode of "How I Met your Mother" when Marshall was training and working hard to run the NY marathon and Barney was all "You don't need to train, can't you just run?" And he did, he just ran and won and I totally got that. But apparently there is more involved and that more includes math and equations and I might have to break up with the running chapter in this book.

This is an actual quote:" Increase your weekly running volume by no more than 10 percent...." Volume??? Percentages??? Ugh. Too much math. I may have to have someone roughly translate.

Now, the swimming and biking chapters, I get. I understand a good swim set, and I should since I have been swimming since forever, and biking is just pedaling and adjusting your cadence and gears. No math necessary.

I do have to say my favorite chapter thus far has been on "Triathlon Slang". There are serious definitions for "Banana Hammock" (Is that a triathlon word? In any case it makes me giggle), and "Grape Hangers". Another term for a male bikini swimsuit is the ever interesting, "Crime Fighters". I'm going to have to work some of these into a casual conversation somehow sometime soon.

"Yah, so I was in the pool doing my 50 free on the 1:15 and this guy came in with the greatest grape hangers. Anyways, how was your weekend?"

Grape hangers indeed.

A Thank You to My Girlies

Thanks C. for sending this. Thanks to the great women in my life. You know who you are.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q

Nate the Great

Yesterday (a conversation while looking in a lift the flap alphabet book)

Nate: What's this mom?

Me: Alligator. It's under the A, A is for Alligator.

Nate: Alligator's eat people's penis.

Me: What? No they don't.

Nate: Yeah dey do. Dey eat people's penis.

Me: No Nate, Alligators eat fish.

Nate: Fish?? (insert the incredulous voice). Really? Like in the water???

Me: Yes Nate, alligators live in water, and they eat fish in the water.

Nate: (with obvious disappointment) Oh.

Today ( I made the mistake of going to the bathroom after Nate)

Me: Who peed on the toilet paper roll? Who peed on the toilet paper? Nate, was it you?

Nate: Um, yah.

Me: (Inspecting further): Holy Crud kid, did you pee on the walls and floor too?

Nate: Not on purpose.

Me: What, you just pulled you pants down and whizzed?

Nate: Yeah.

Me: When daddy gets home you are getting a lesson in AIMING. Learn how to do it!

What's That I Smell...Mmmm Just a Constant Spray Of Lysol is All

I have been sick since Christmas, and while it has sucked majorly to be sick during "Christmas Break", it's been the best time to be sick because John has been home and able to take care of the darlings. Let's review:

Christmas I come down with Bronchitis/pneumonia.

New years Eve's eve: John comes down with Stomach bug.

New Years Eve: I take the kids on a freaking 12 hour excursion to visit my bruddah's new apt. in Roscoe, the Rockford Children's museum, and then a dinner buffet/cheese fondue/chocolate fountain at Jenny and Sean's. I DID stop home, because John offered to drive me there as they only live 2 miles away and I could drink freely. Sure. Why not. Nevertheless, I only had about 2 glasses of wine, since I was feeling slightly queasy. Chalked it up to antibiotic action and not eating enough for the day....WRONG!

New Years Day: We spend the afternoon at his Aunt Judy's. I LOVE going to see all the family on New Years. I LOVE seeing everyone's kids. I did NOT love having to exit suddenly with narry a goodbye because I apparently caught John's bug. We weren't halfway home (it's about an hour and change away) when I had to have him pull over on the expressway with every state trooper on the planet out and projectile vomit. THANK GOD I hadn't really eaten that day either (my stomach was still uneasy, but I totally blamed it on the fiber/antibiotic coctail I'd had earlier) so really all I threw up was water, because I drank about 4 bottles worth at his aunts house.

We got home, and I didn't have fever, just chills. The chills, my friends, suck. I couldn't get warm and had to have the electric blanket on high. The next day I had the aches. My knees and hips were yelling at me everytime I was in any one positition too long. It was so bad that I took my kids' Tylenol, guestimating a doseage for my weight, because I didn't have any grown up Tylenol and I'm pretty sure Advil would have ripped my already sensitive stomach to shreds.

I was able to finally eat a family meal with my family tonight for the first time since Christmas.

Why am I telling you all this? I'm not sure, really. But, when it comes to my health I have come to some conclusions.

1.) I am totally redoing my 'abnormal' pap earlier than the scheduled April. Insurance be damned. I don't care what the doc has said about 'cervical cells not really being related to colon cells'. Mutating cells are mutating cells. I realize both how rational and irrational this sounds.

2.) I am scheduling a mammogram ASAP. Again with the mutating cells thing. I'm sure my OB/GYN will maybe try and talk me out of it, saying I'm not really in a risk group given my age and the fact that only my aunts and grandmother had breastcancer, but really, I wasn't in any risk group to have a precancerous colon polyp either. The doc's office said because of the colonoscopy results I'd have to get a mammogram by 35 anyway, so what's the harm in getting a baseline a few years early?

3.) Being sick these past weeks with very normal stuff makes me realize I don't have the luxury of just saying "Well, I'm not really old enough for colon cancer, or breast cancer or insert illness here...". I haven't enjoyed it, and am trying to be more proactive regarding diet, exercise and preventative care. John said(even though he agrees with me getting EVERYTHING checked out) it seems like I'm almost looking for something to be wrong. That is not the case. That's really quite the opposite. I have big plans for the next several years of my life.

The only form of sick I wanna be is to maybe have a cold.

Like I said, I gots me some plans.....

Calling all Helpful Heloises

Here is my problem.

I'm taking down all of my Christmas world decos, and find, upon removing my Christmas tree skirt that that the satin backing has stained my hardwood floor. I tried cleaning with plain water to no avail, and am planning on trying vinegar, but I don't hold out much hope.

Any ideas on how to make my floor not red without removing the floor sealant would be fab!!!

Merry Christmas to All....

This is our Christmas in photo form. I hosted this year, and I loved every second. The kids all had a good time too!!! Santa was VERY good to me this year and brought me a new Canon Rebel SLR Camera that I have been instructed I have 4 months to figure out before Disney, AND the Wii Fit. And some new sweaters too. I felt really, really lame reciprocating with a massage chair and some new work shirts. LAME.

How sweet is little Brycie Boo on his first Christmas?

The kids, at the kid table eating their New York Strip Loin roast that I made, and some crab legs, potatoes and veggies. YUM!

Funny Girl making faces at Uncle Richie.


The grown ups got to eat crab legs too. Isn't my table so pretty? I felt bad for Richie on the folding chair, but I tried to make it pretty by covering it. It looked dumb, but oh well.

This is me cooking, and yes, I look like hell. I finally went to the Doc. this morning and have 'acute bronchitis with a touch of pneumonia'. Sweet. The doc at the urgent care center was cool, she and I dished on triathlons and training, and what not. It will be great this year since my mom got me a computer for my bike and a water cage. I will be ready to go this summer.

Brudda and sistah.





This is Richie pretending to eat the gloppy leftovers of his appetizer dish.

The aforementioned gloppy leftovers.
Maddie and Bryce.

Richie, the biggest kid in the room with his new Bears decos for his apartment.

Richie, playing with Jack's new lazer tag game and wishing he could be 5 again....

How many grown ups does it take to figure out the kids' toys?

Maddie got a Rose Petal Cottage from Santa. She loves her house, and I am currently listening to the kids playing santa by leaving the toys on the chimney and saying HO HO HO! Maddie and Brooke played house all day.

The girls, sharing a lipstick.

Merry Christmas!

Bryce liked the rattle his favorite Auntie gave him.

Jack and his loot.

Nate and his loot.

Bryce opening gifts.

Dad, snapping photos of the chaos.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Bronchitis aside, I had a FABULOUS holiday. Now to get it all organized....


Jack helped me wrap, and label gifts.

Maddie with Santa gifts. She kept opening things and saying, "Ohmy gooness!". It was pretty darn cute.


Jack and his snowman that should be melted by tomorrow in the 48 degree weather.

Nate and his snowman.

Getting Out Of Town

We took our 2nd annual trip to the city 2 days before Christmas. Jack was so excited to "go out of town", and I didn't have the heart to tell him that getting out of town usually means a longer trip than an hour car ride. A lot of his school friends are gone this week visiting family for the holidays, and he got to go out of town too.

We spent Day 1 in Chicago at the Museum of Science and Industry, checking out their Christmas Trees around the World exhibit, a favorite of mine every year, and day 2 was spent at the Chicago Children's Museum at Navy Pier. We had planned on seeing the lights at the zoo on Day one, but, as it was 35 below with the wind chill, we went out for Chicago style pizza at Uno's (a Chicago institution, for sure) and then saw Santa at Macy's. We skipped the big tree, because by the time we got there, the kids were already burnt out from walking around the museum all day!

The photos are backwards because I am still techie deficient, but you'll see how much fun we had!

This is the first exhibit at the children't museum. You put the tubes to your ears and try and guess the Chicago sounds. There are horses clopping, the el, traffic sounds, etc. It's really cool.

At the museum, there is an exhibit that is like the great outdoors. This is Nate coming down the slide in the "tree house". You can also go fishing, canoeing, and cook supper with tin dishes in a tent.

Johna nd Jack, building what, I don't know.

At one exhibit, you can use nuts and bolts to make skyscrapers. It was serious work for the 3 kids, and even Maddie got involved with putting the screws into holes.

Jack did a great job building. He used the tools properly and built some type of sturdy-ish structure. He is so much fun at these museums now because he is really trying to figure out how things work, not just pushing buttons. You can see his mind clicking away as he absorbs it all, and it is so cool.



Nate was all about safety.

Up the ropes in the treehouse area!

This is the fire safety exhibit. The kids also got to "drive" an ambulance.




This is at the MSI. There is an entire area for smaller kids in the basement before you get to the U505. There is also an area within the kids area for kids 3 and under, so Maddie got to go in without her brothers and she loved EVERY second of it.

This is before we got onto the Sub. The MSI has the ONLY German U-boat that was captured. We got the full blown tour, and let me tell you it is no cruise ship. Some fun facts: If you were on a U-boat, you had a 70 percent chance of never making it home, you were commissioned for basically 3 months in a tin can with 59 other grown men with no showers, or way of cleaning yourself--and one toilet, the Germans invented phosphorescent paint to identify their torpedoes within the event that they had to dive below the surface and turn off all power (ie: lights) to conserve energy.

Jack wanted to take a photo of us, so I let him. His favorite part of the WHOLE trip was learning about the bad guys on the boat and how they got sunked.

There is a farm area in the museum. Maddie got very possessive of this cow. We still can't figure out why.

The boys driving a tractor. Scary stuff.

The Ireland tree.

Before you get into the museum, you can "ride" on the original Zephyr diesel train that took its virgin voyage from Colorado to Chicago in the 1930's. On the second class train car you can sit next to a "passenger" and hear him talking to other "passengers" and learn a little about the train.

It was a pretty cool trip. I SO cannot wait for next year!

On Why My Niece Cracks Me UP!!

Conversations with Brooke, Part I:

B- Mommy, Hunter (their dog) is a fucker.

Steph- What did you say?

B- I said, Hunter is a fucker.

S- Oh. My. God. Go tell your dad.

B- Okay. Daddy, Hunter is a fucker.

Craig- Did you just say, "Hunter is a fucker"??

B- Yes daddy, Hunter is a fucker.

Conversations with Brooke, Part II:

Envision, 2 days later, this totally cute 2 and 1/2 year old, looking out the window....

B- Mommy, those gooses are dumb fuckers.

S- Brooke, WHAT did you just say?

B- Those gooses are dumb fuckers!!!

Now, try disciplining that...because gooses ARE dumb fuckers.

I love that kid.

Fudge Packin', and Lovin' every Minute!

I went to a girlfriend's cookie exchange Wednesday. It was really a lot of fun, and us girls just chattered away, which isn't hard to do. We left before the storm of the century hit, and we left with some nummies!

I made my soon to be famous "Two-Tone Fudge". Recipe follows. Thank me later.

TIME: Prep: 30 min. + chilling
Ingredients: 1-1/2 teaspoons plus 1/2 cup butter, softened, divided
2 cups packed brown sugar
1 cup sugar
1 cup evaporated milk
1 jar (7 ounces) marshmallow creme
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (I used real vanilla)
1-1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips (give or take a few, I never do exact measuring when it comes to chocolate!)
1 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup butterscotch chips (extra here never hurt anyone either)


Directions: Line a 9-in. square pan with foil and grease the foil with 1-1/2 teaspoons butter; set aside. In a large heavy saucepan, combine the sugars, milk and remaining butter. Cook and stir over medium heat until sugar is dissolved. Bring to a rapid boil; boil for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to low; stir in the marshmallow creme until melted and blended. Remove from the heat; stir in vanilla. Pour 2-1/2 cups into ab owl; stir in the chocolate chips and walnuts until chips are melted. Pour into prepared pan. Add the butterscotch chips to the remaining marshmallow mixture; stir until chips are melted. Pour over the chocolate layer and gently spread to cover. Refrigerate overnight or until firm. Using foil, remove fudge from pan; carefully peel off foil. Cut into 1-in. squares. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 2-3/4 pounds

Anniversary

Yesterday was our 8 years and counting anniversary. Because it's the middle of the week and it was snowing, we were lame and didn't do anything special. I fed the kids some leftovers and made daddy put them to bed while I made a new fish recipe (that's what he wanted) and lit a fire.

We also spent some quality time watching John's all time Christmas favorite, "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". It is a true classic, and it was a nice anniversary day.

Try out my recipe on the side. I made accommodations, like, instead of Sole, we had Tilapia. I also don't measure well, and it tasted yummy anyway.

Enjoy with a nice bottle of a dry white wine. You may comment only on how fabulous it was.

Breakfast With Santa

Saturday was a fabulous day...aside from John painting his office "Chicago Cubs Blue"-(It's a real color by Glidden, I swear)--But that is another blog for another day.

We went to the annual Breakfast with Santa outing at church. They had all you can eat pancakes, and sausage (which Nathan ate his weight in). We had so much fun meeting Santa (no line!) and then heading to the Bethlehem Village activities where the kids joined tribes (Jack was in Joseph's tribe, Nate in Reuben's, and Maddie in Isaacher), met with a census taker, made money bags and carved "coins" and even learned how to make their own abacus and sort of use it (okay, that confused me, which to be fair isn't hard to do, but that abacus stuff is why people later invented calculators.)

Merry Christmas from US!
The boys, giving Santa the low down.

This is the closest Maudie has gotten to Santa EVER! (Yes, I call her Maudie. John's grandma was Maud and little and spunky, reminds me of Madders there). This was our 6th and final visit to the big C just making sure that he had our lists right.

I love screaming on Santa's lap photos. LOVE them. I have a lot of them too, since I think they're funny. Someday she may thank me for it. Someday!