And So It Begins Again

I have begun my training planning and processing for the summer triathlon series. I'm hoping to do at least 3 this summer, so I've got to get a bit hardcore this year. Expect loyal readers, to be immersed in my exercise and diet world over the course of the next few months.

To start out, I have taken out books from the library giving 'workouts' and tips. I really can't start training now, because I'll wind up overtraining and burn out, but these books give great ideas for off season workouts, dietary info, all that jazz. John is laughing because one book is from "Triathlete Magazine". Triathlete ends in athlete, and well, we all know I'm not really an 'athlete'. I dabble, but I also trip over things, and walk into walls, and until recently when I ran looked like I was going to pull a Mary Lou Retton and take off from the vault. But I'm reading, I'm watching, and I'm trying really really hard.

However, these damn books don't make sense sometimes, I swear. I'm reading them, and am all like, 'What the hell is a fartlek? It's a made up word I'm serious". No, it's not. It is some Swedish running word, something to do with running fast then slow then fast again and you have to measure your VO2 levels and your stride (being on your toes helps somehow?) and I'm all like, "No freaking way I understand this crap". It reminded me of that one episode of "How I Met your Mother" when Marshall was training and working hard to run the NY marathon and Barney was all "You don't need to train, can't you just run?" And he did, he just ran and won and I totally got that. But apparently there is more involved and that more includes math and equations and I might have to break up with the running chapter in this book.

This is an actual quote:" Increase your weekly running volume by no more than 10 percent...." Volume??? Percentages??? Ugh. Too much math. I may have to have someone roughly translate.

Now, the swimming and biking chapters, I get. I understand a good swim set, and I should since I have been swimming since forever, and biking is just pedaling and adjusting your cadence and gears. No math necessary.

I do have to say my favorite chapter thus far has been on "Triathlon Slang". There are serious definitions for "Banana Hammock" (Is that a triathlon word? In any case it makes me giggle), and "Grape Hangers". Another term for a male bikini swimsuit is the ever interesting, "Crime Fighters". I'm going to have to work some of these into a casual conversation somehow sometime soon.

"Yah, so I was in the pool doing my 50 free on the 1:15 and this guy came in with the greatest grape hangers. Anyways, how was your weekend?"

Grape hangers indeed.