Nate the Great

Yesterday (a conversation while looking in a lift the flap alphabet book)

Nate: What's this mom?

Me: Alligator. It's under the A, A is for Alligator.

Nate: Alligator's eat people's penis.

Me: What? No they don't.

Nate: Yeah dey do. Dey eat people's penis.

Me: No Nate, Alligators eat fish.

Nate: Fish?? (insert the incredulous voice). Really? Like in the water???

Me: Yes Nate, alligators live in water, and they eat fish in the water.

Nate: (with obvious disappointment) Oh.

Today ( I made the mistake of going to the bathroom after Nate)

Me: Who peed on the toilet paper roll? Who peed on the toilet paper? Nate, was it you?

Nate: Um, yah.

Me: (Inspecting further): Holy Crud kid, did you pee on the walls and floor too?

Nate: Not on purpose.

Me: What, you just pulled you pants down and whizzed?

Nate: Yeah.

Me: When daddy gets home you are getting a lesson in AIMING. Learn how to do it!