I warn you, this blog is not for the squeemish. That being said, I'd like to thank my oldest for the quite visual and fragrant reminders that my bathrooms needed cleaning. Allow me to divulge more....
Monday, I went upstairst to check the progress of teeth brushing, when I encountered a horrid smell in the bathroom. I asked son if he forgot to flush and realized I was standing smack in the middle of a poo Picasso. It was smeared on the floor, the rug, the tub, the toilet, the sink, everywhere. I'd like to think that he was wiping, got some on his hands and proceeded to make art because he couldn't reach the faucet. However, after today I'm pretty sure numero uno has a poo fascination and I'm just grossed out.
Today we headed out to music class and to get Jack a haircut. I noticed a funk in the downstairs bathroom but didn't have time to figure it out until we came home 2 hours later. The boys were eating and I still couldn't find the source of the smell. After Monday's episode, I checked the counters and under the sink, and the garbage. No visual...until that is I opened the potty that hasn't been used for anything other than a stepstool for at least a year.
There, lying in the potty was a man sized poo that was making my bathroom smell like a porta potty. Of course I cleaned it out and disinfected and put the potty in the garage to avoid future issues, but I asked son when he did this. "Well mommy, I did it like, 2 days ago". It could be the truth, or just a bad sense of time for a 3 year old. 2 days ago was Monday though, and possibly just a poopy day in general.
This is the stuff you can't make up, and nobody tells you about this part of parenting. All you hear when you're pregnant is "Sleep now" or "Good luck with labor". Nobody ever says to you, "Hey, you may want to reconsider buying a new home because nobody really appreciates poo remnants smeared everywhere". Speaking of which, do they make the sellers of a house disclose any poo incidents, like they do when someone is murdered or dies in a house???
Parenting at it's finest.
2 comments:
Well well well... number one has a thing for number two! I am still laughing outloud! "Man Sized Poo" is a wonderful phrase. Maybe you should trademark that. A two day old poo is even better! Although my guess is that Jack doesn't time passage down yet. Olivia calls any past minute, hour, day or year "last year". My friends who have boys have warned me about pee all over the bathroom. I am hoping that poo all over the bathroom is mutualy exclusive to boys too!
Yes, that was not for the squeemish and being the mother of three I am not...HOWEVER that was gross. I am going to let it go though knowing that if there had been poo in the potty stool for more than an hour and had you not been on the go I'm sure you would have noticed it sooner. Man size poo has a pungent aroma and I feel confident that it would have permiated into every room in a matter of hours.
Thank you Jack for the heads up on the poo picaso though! I will be sure to look out for it with my own in the future.
p.s. I don't think you will have to disclose, but I hope you took a couple of pics for future bribery.(i.e. 16th b-day graduation, wedding etc)
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