Chuckie's Bride Lives With My Sister, so Watch Out!

My sister starts out a conversation during opening her daughter's birthday gifts with something along the lines of how sweet and cuddly her neighbor is. Who also happens to be older and missing a few fries from the order. Whatever. Then she goes on to say things like how nice this lady is, she just "shows up" and gives her kids her old stuff from her closet. Toys and games and whatnot. And then she says, "And look what she gave Brooke...just because!" Showing us this: After my initial shock and revulsion and multiple expletives, and gasps of "What the HELL? What in the hell is that thing?" I was informed it was some Madame Alexander doll. Uh, not to me baby. That is pure Bride of Chuckie material.

I don't know about you all, but I am NOT a doll fan. I used to pull Barbie's heads off because, well it was Barbie. And her head just came off soooo easily. After seeing this real Shirley Temple Doll now I know why I ripped their heads off...so they couldn't see to attack me and eat my face off while I was sleeping. My brother in law wants to get rid of the doll. I can't say I blame him, because it looks cursed. But my sister thinks it's worth a lot of money. So I say sell it, get rid of it. That is the stuff of nightmares.

You can almost hear it intoning..."Animal crackers in my soup...monkeys and rabbits loop the loop...don't fall asleep with me near, I just might nibble off your ear!"

This Is How We Do the Egg Thang

On the day before Easter (for those of you with memory issues, it would have been Saturday), We had an egg hunt (our 3rd of the season), a baseball parade, a baseball game, and then the neighbors came over for what I call a White Trash Pizza Party. Thats where you bring your own frozen pizza and we all share it after it's cooked up and ready to go. Incidentally, they stayed until well past 11 p.m., because we were playing some dice game, betting quarters, and after I had a few glasses of wine I started telling completely irrelevant stories. Mostly about nothing. Does anyone else do that after having a few? You just start telling stories with no point and that don't make a whole lot of sense? I seriously can't be the only one.

I wanted a picture of the kids all together. This folks, is maybe as good as it gets. This is after John yelled at Nate to "Look Up!"

"But my Ear is itchy!"

Let's try one more time....

Finding eggs tossed on the grass at various intervals is apparently serious work.

She was happy about this egg hunt. There was a lot of chocolate involved.

Here we are dying eggs. Maddie has decided that anytime her picture gets taken she wants it done in her 'crazy eyes' pose.

This is pretty typical for this kid.

As is this. Never mind the magic wand you get in the dye box.

Happy Easter, Love, Crazy Eyes.

The Science Fair

Let's be honest and say my parents are gamers. They came over a couple weeks ago and helped Nate with his science fair project, appropriately titled, "Do You Taste With Your Eyes". Nate is pretty much the boy version of Amelia Bedelia and wanted to let everyone know that NO you do not. However, the point of his science experiment was to find out if just because food looks different, does it taste different.

And so, we had a declicious meal of blue turkey burgers. This is the final "plated" meal. I thought the presentation was class A. Yes, we did make green and red french fries.

The second part of the experiment involved putting coffee, sugar water, salt water and vinegar on various parts of your tongue to see where the taste was the strongest. This was a blast. Opa refused to participate, but seeing as Oma puts vinegar of her nasty vegetables (like spinach and brussels sprouts ick) she didn't mind this part at all.


Mmmm...red food dye. How bad is this stuff for you?

Here's Nate, mixing it up.

Jack also did an experiment on electromagnets. First he made some battery powered thing that was supposed to spin. It didn't work. Then he made telegraphs. It didn't work. Then he made a magnet using a battery, a nail, and some wire. That DID work and it was a great segue to talking about how sometimes, even when we work super duper hard on something it doesn't always work out. And that was okay. We made that part of our display and results board.

Oma keeps saying that coming over for the taste test was fun. Based on that first photo, I'd say that my parent's definition of fun has been warped since they became empty nesters. Next thing I know they'll be sitting there making spoon jewelry and macrame plant holders.......

Do YOU Feel Safe in Your Home? It's a Loaded Question

I am, finally, inexorably down for the count. The kids were sick, I felt icky last week, finally went to the doc, got a diagnosis and some antibiotics and then proceeded to get worse. So this morning I called off my little baby patients, because it seemed to be the ethical thing to do, and drove my sorry butt to urgent care after I took the kids to school. I still have mom duties, you know. So, at urgent care, they start going through the questions. The first one being, "Do you feel safe at home?" I looked the nurse guy square in the eye and said, "Um, well, I'm a mom of 3 kids, two of whom are boys. Define safe". He then says, "Well, it's a state question, and we have to ask it in cases of domestic violence." Well, then, "Oh, well, they like to shoot me with their Nerf Dart Guns. I really don't think those are safe". And as serious as a heart attack, the nurse looks at me and he says, 'i'm just putting it that YES you are safe in your own home." And he laughed, so I guess in all my nastiness of sickdom I haven't lost the ability to keep the mood light. In my temporarily bronchially fogged mind, I sort of wondered what exactly would happen if I had seriously answered with a "No". Hm. The Doc came in, looked at my throat which is red and raw and nasty from coughing and ordered a chest x-ray. It looks pretty bad, but it's "just" bronchitis, so she doubled my dose of drugs-which I cannot take until I get the kids from school for fear of driving under the influence and suggested a salt water gargle. My palette is literally an open wound. I am not keen on throwing salt on an open wound, so have taken to swallowing tablespoons of honey and sucking on Riccola's like they are going out of style. It helps though. I keep thinking the upside of all this is that since I have no appetite unless I'm drinking hot liquids and sucking cough drops, maybe I'll drop these last 5 dastardly lbs, that I've been trying to get rid of. The downside is that since I can't really breathe, exercise, or at least cardio isn't an option, so i'm really just losing muscle tone pounds and will just be thinner and jiggley-er. Being sick requires one to think on things that are abstractly odd. I mean, is it just me, or is anyone else freaked out by those little iphone symbol thingies popping up on tv and in magazines? Hello? 1984??? Did anyone read it? Because I'm pretty sure that's a good way for "Big Brother" to keep his proverbial eye on us. I've seen those creepy Morgan Freeman movies. I know. I know. Also, WHY WHY WHY is daytime tv so awful? I'm into a really good book. I'm working really hard on my artistic recovery, but sometimes I need a brain break. Except, the only thing on is the View and it makes my brain take not just a break, but a complete all inclusive vacation so that I am mush, as are my opinions and original thoughts. Sherry Shepherd should really stick to her "Queen of Jordan" Schtick. At least on 30 Rock she's funny. I must run and get my little peeps now. Then I get to medicate. Maybe if I have some drug induced perceptual breakthroughs I will blog more later, although they may sound like the ramblings of a mad woman. And in my defense, I'm not that far off without the meds.

Be Thou My Vision?

"To Come to be you must have vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, a Principle. You will become what your vision is." Peter Zarlenga As I have written repeatedly, I have a vague notion that my yoga instructor is more like my very own personal unpaid therapist. Her words are just a balm for my soul. And I am learning so much about myself. Also, my super fabulous yoga instructor has become a friend because I picked her up Omaha style. Oh yeah...I just went right up to her and hooked myself up. Julz and Leslie are such an inspiration that way, and they have such fabulously awesome friends, so I figured I would try it out too. I digress. Anyway, super fabulous Yoga instructor Jean has put me into a creative recovery program. Oh yeah, you read that right. I just happened to mention my skills as a writer and how they have pretty much gone down the toilet since marriage and children took over my life and she recommended this whole book/program that I have been following faithfully. This week puts me into a "reading deprivation" and it is killing me! I bang through a book a week! I am not reading things on facebook, emails (well, if they're relative to the kids and other's needs I have to), but I am putting down the newspaper, and NO BOOKS. OUCH! So, instead of reading right now, I'm taking a huge risk and telling you all about my recovery. And writing. Writing. Writing. Back to Jean. Friday Night Ladie's Night Out Yoga may very well be one of my very favorite things to do ever. I mean, ever. And I love to do a lot of things. One of the things from the book and the recovery program I am in says to create a vision board that can be a visual autobiography of your past, present, and futrure, depicting your hearts desires. You just rip pictures and sayings out of magazines that happen to grab your attention, and the idea is, is that eventually, if you keep at it, your heart's desires (if they aren't fully selfish) become your reality. So, following, here are some of my visions and hearts desires. Yea, I LOVE this photo. Mostly because it's how I feel pretty much most or all of the time. This is the whole vision board as it stands now. It made my soul happy to continue working on it Saturday afternoon. Maddie made one too, but her visions and hearts desires included cupcakes and baby kittens and giraffes. It was very cute.

Here is a saying, ripped from a running magazine of all things.

Metaphorically, this is a powerful picture for me. I didn't start running until a few years ago, and now I can't go a week without at least one day of running for an hour or so. The other days I use for 'training' runs, but my long runs clear my head, and it is then when I am most at peace because there is such a sense of clarity and purpose. I'm not fast. I'm not even a good runner. But my heart and my head thank me during and after the run.

This is a photo of kids in Ireland. Rolling down a hill. They looked so free. I loved that.

Here is a cabana in some beautiful tropical place. Apparently most of my hearts desires involve traveling to exotic places.

I just adore the word "Moxie". It makes me think of my daughter. Note the swimmers and the bikers in the background.

I have begun to notice a pattern with my visions. They involve a lot of water (spend time analyzing that you Freudians! Is it the fluidity of change I crave? The beauty of the ocean? The never seeing even one single inch of the ocean the same ever?) My hearts desires also depicted a lot of couple time too. Sans kids. Hmmmm.

It was a great activity. I highly recommend you do it. Don't think it over. Don't plan it out. Just grab a stack of magazines and start ripping and gluing and taping them to a poster board. You will learn a bit about what your heart desires. I promise that.

Down with the Sickness

Things couldn't be better here. John decided to NOT see a doctor for three weeks with some bronchial cough nonsense going on, and so, finally he goes and he has some antibiotics that are so powerful that both the doc AND the pharmacist warned him to get hisself some yogurt.

Jack has strep.

Nate has bronchitis and needs to be nebulized.

Maddie has an ear infection.

I get to take care of everyone and scrub down the house.

Just for review: That's 4 sick people.
5 different medications.
4 doctors appointments in one week (I got Jack and Maddie in at the same time today)
And a partridge in a pear tree.

Fasting and Feasting

I was reminded on Sunday that we are now in the Lenten Season. I learned Sunday that Lent really is some old word which really means, "spring". How nice. Be Gone Snow...Tis Lenten!

Some people and religions 'give something up' for lent. Formally, that notion is very odd to me. I'm not very indulgent to begin with, for one thing. I don't drink soda, I'm pretty restrictive on my alcohol consumption (one weekend night, unless it's a special occasion) and I don't regularly imbibe in sweets. Not to mention, my particular branch of faith doesn't really ask me to give up cookies and chocolate. It almost is like Lent is your last big push to renew your New Year's Resolution. "This year I will lose ten pounds when I give up BEER for Lent!" Can't help but think we are missing the point a bit.

I really do understand the need for sacrifice, especially as a metaphoric initiative. And so, there are several things I would like to fast on that I will share with you. I didn't write this, I don't know who did, but I liked it so much I thought I'd share.

"Whether fasting as individuals or with others, it is important that we not do it for "show". So during this Lenten season, move beyond chocolate to declare our own fast:

Fast from judgment, Feast on compassion

Fast from worry, Feast on divine order

Fast from criticism, Feast on appreciation

Fast from sin, Feast on holiness of heart

Fast from gossip, Feast on praise

Fast from anxiety, Feast on patience

Fast from hatred, Feast on love

Fast from evil, Feast on kindness

Fast from apathy, Feast on engagement

Fast from pessimism, Feast on optimism.

Fast from greed, Feast on sharing

Fast from scarcity, Feast on abundance

Fast from fear, Feast on peace

Fast from lies, Feast on truth

Fast from discontent, Feast on gratitude

Fast from noise, Feast on silence

Fast from discouragement, Feast on hope

Fast from thoughts of illness, Feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from hostility, Feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness, Feast on forgiveness.

Fast from unrelenting pressures, Feast on unceasing prayer."

What can you live without? What do you need? What are you fasting and feasting on right now? The power of intentional living is so inviting, isn't it?

Life Really Is Delicious

Saturday, I had the pleasure of being invited along with some of my lady friends from church to an event sponsored by the Rockford Women's Club. The event was titled, "Life is Delicious", and featured keynote speaker Sarah Copeland.

Sarah just happens to be the sister of one of my close friends from my church group. She has done amazing things with her life. And I mean "AhMayZing". I was so in awe of the command she could take of the room and she reeled me in like a fish on a hook with the story of her life, and her relationship with food.

What I found so profound was not all the opportunities she has had in her life, but really, rather, the risks she took to grab a hold of those opportunities and go all out to achieve her dream. She realized pretty much every dream she had, because she had the faith to take the leap, believe in herself, and just do it. As she so poignantly pointed out, she would question, "Who am I to do this?" With the rhetorically answered, "Who am I NOT to?"

Of course, I had a few questions for the q&a part of the address, but I held back. Apparently, while rapt with attention at what she was saying, I didn't quite absorb it fully. I mean, Who was I to have all these questions for her? And then later, as I wrote them all down in my notebook, Who am I NOT to ask these questions? Someday, I'd love a sit down, honest to goodness, heart to heart, 'interview" of sorts. Someday. Right now she's writing her very first cookbook, out in 2012 and as such, I'm pretty sure she's pretty busy.

But, as of late I've become a believer in serendipity. She was brought to my attention at this point in my life for a reason. I am not yet sure why. Maybe simply to inspire me to do things that I have been dreaming of doing. Maybe to soothe my soul with the balm of her encouragement. Who knows. I do know that her words have had a lasting impression on my ability to move forward on a few projects I've been cooking on the back burner at a very low simmer for years. Maybe now it's time.

Check out her blog. Be inspired.

www.edibleliving.com

Five Fun Friday Facts

...about things that have been happening around here. Really, just some funny stories.

1.) Jack informed us at dinner the other night that poison dart frogs spit their babies out their mouths. He knows this is the absolute truth because he read it somewhere. He also saw in a movie called "Milo and Otis" that cats poop their babies out their butts. Either we are very urbanized here, or Disney needs to do a better job depicting the human life cycle.

2.) Nate made a racist comment/gesture last night after dinner. I was befuddled. I was horrified. Where did he hear this? School. Of course. Now, before you all get all "you should homeschool" on me, I used this as an opportunity to teach him right vs. wrong. Those are hurtful things to say, and we just don't say them. Or think them. EVER. I had to be careful not to be punitive because he didn't know he was doing anything wrong, but this was a toughie. And I told him that just because so and so at school did it didn't make it okay, and he should really tell the teacher. Repeating the behaviour is NOT an option.

3.) I made a new recipe straight from this month's Clean Eating magazine and got ingredients for 2 more culinary experiments. So far my kids think they are being poisoned by healthy food, but I can only handle the same old same old so many times. My goal is to try and introduce one new meal a week. This week I am making up for lost time. If you follow this link you will see a photo of the mag cover and that is essentially what I made for dinner. Only I did it dairy free, which may slightly alter the flavor, but it wasn't too bad. John liked it, and he is really my biggest critic. He will be honest. I don't trust those kids in the least, mostly because if it isn't peanut butter and jelly, or if the food doesn't end in -ocolate they protest.

www.cleaneatingmag.com/The-Magazine/Current-Issue.aspx

4.) This morning I caught Nathan hiding under his comforter playing his DS. I draw the line at 6 a.m. when I can hear the stupid Mario Karting in my room and it wakes me up. This kid has a very serious addiction to screen time and I absolutely LOVE having to go all Commie Mommy on him and cut him off. I have rules. I have parameters. Apparently I speak in a language my children do not understand because my rules were made to be broken...or so they think. They ds has been confiscated for the duration of the weekend. I'm pretty sure the kid is borderline having tremors right now....

5.) I got my official USAT member sticker. I think it would look pretty hot on my mom minivan. My dad thought he was funny and told me to stick it next to my 'soccer mom' sticker. I don't have a soccer mom sticker, but he thinks it's funny that I drive a minivan and take my kids to soccer. I suppose I would cry if I wasn't laughing.....

And an AMEN! to That!

Some say Amen ends prayers. I say AMEN! as an final salute to the end of the basketball season. We have been going strong EVERY weekend since December, sometimes both Saturdays and Sundays were locked up, because of course one boy would play at 9 in the morning and the other would play at something like 3, or 4. Good times. The upsides are that their dad was their super awesomest coach and that all their friends were in bball too, so it was a fun social gathering for me.

Saturday was their final all star jam games. So well run, so cute, really, a good time. Every kid got a trophy, and why do it if not for the trophy? It's sort of like me doing my races, it's all about the accessories and the goody bag.

So here we are getting ready to go. Can we ever NOT be touching, punching, hitting, choking, or poking each other? I think not. Nate receives his trophy.

Look. There is NO ONE around him. Check out that dribbling action. He's a natural.

At half time, the kids could pay a dollar and try for a half court free throw. Well, the really little ones weren't really at half court. Nate missed. Jack made the shot and won $10, which he promptly spent on crap at the candy concession stand. The kid is like my father. If he has money in his pocket it burns a hole in it until spent. I didn't care. Wasn't my money, and he won it, so no big deal.

Hands up guarding. Nate wasn't letting anyone past him. Really.

"Anything you can do I can do better...." This is Mads at the free throw line, which was about 2 inches in front of the 6ft basket. She didn't make it, but she tried, and she looked super cute doing it too. She's tough nuggets this one. Throwing free throws in a pink cupcake outfit which matches the American Girl Doll she got from Tante Jen for Christmas.....sweetness.

He was very serious about this free throw deal.

On to Super Cosmo. He got a basket, which was pretty awesome. John thinks though that Jack is so gangly and wiry that he resembles a 'baby giraffe being born' when he participates in athletics which require him to run. I can only hope he grows into himself. He enjoys sports but he isn't so natural. Plus he's a lefty, which makes things just a little more difficult.

Poor Maddie...can't hardly wait until next year when she finally gets to play in all these sports she's been sidelined for up until her 5th birthday!

We All Fall Short

It feels like forever since I've written, and it probably has been. In my defense, for a while I had virtually no usage of my right hand/wrist until I figured out with the help of a fabulous Sports Med physical therapist that essentially I am suffering from Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, google it for fun.

Basically, I woke up the morning after the last Bears/Packer's game with no feeling in my hand, and really bad vasal vagal responses when touching a certain part of my wrist. I thought it was carpal tunnel. It turned out to not be that (obv.) and is essentially an injury resulting from years of swimming, poor posture, and just for fun I'm going to throw in mother hood in there, because I would like to blame any major life changes on my children as much as I can. They'll get their turn to blame me in therapy soon enough, so here's mine.

I've been in PT for a few weeks, and damn if it doesn't hurt. But it IS getting better. I can type now, and perform all my ADL's, which is short for "Activities of Daily Living".

I've also been addressing the issue in my yoga class, because my Fantastic Yoga Teacher Jean has become a friend and mentor and I told her about my TOS and she has decided to gear some of her poses and postures towards me and my issues. I suppose it's a win-win, but on Wednesdays when I have therapy and yoga my body literally collapses at night. Super PT Carolyn promises fixing this issue will help with my triathlon races, and being the trusting lowly momathlete that I am I subject myself to her delicious torture every week.

I am also going through some sort of something here that is hard to define. My daughter is getting ready to go to kinneygarten, and therefore she is entering a new phase of life, which means, essentially, that I need to adjust and enter MY new phase of life. I met with Jean for coffee, and was so inspired. She is a mother of 4 following her dreams, and I want and need to do that too, with hopefully the added bonus of income, unfortunately I am not so very sure what that is anymore. Do any stay at home mothers who haven't really worked or led their own lives know what their dreams are? Do we have any? Are we allowed to have them?

So I've been evaluating things, thinking a lot, and worrying more. Am I doing these things because of my family and the life I've created for the past decade, or really, in spite of it? I'm not sure. I am however subjecting myself to a process and bit by bit beginning to trust it. Once again though, of course it creates the inevitable "mom guilt". There is so little time to follow my own path when the needs, demands and requirements of others are seemingly equally important. In short, in some respect, I am falling short. I am either cheating myself, or my family, neither of which is a very desirable option. And so the cycle continues. The desire to dream and become something greater than the sum of all my parts, the pursuit, the guilt, the 'falling short'.

Where do you fall short? How do you deal with it? Because, truly, we all fall short of our own expectations. Maybe it's all in our own mommy brained heads and we have the disparaging mommy media to thank for that, what with all the syrupy parenting magazines and useless helpful "how tos" on The Matt Lauer Hour . I especially like when Oprah tells everyone how hard it is to be a mom, and Leslie (mom on the rocks) put it best when she said that (paraphrasing here): "Oprah telling me how hard motherhood is is like me telling Oprah how hard it is to be a very rich black woman". Les is very tall. And very white. And very funny. Pretty much the trifecta of everything Oprah isn't. But I digress...this isn't an Oprah bash session, although some people think that the thing to do as a SAHM is sit and watch her all day, so there is relevance to the reference.

Really though...think about it. Where can we improve ourselves, or where do we want to improve, but feel stuck? Think about it. Get back to me if you can.

Song of the Week: Virginia Wolf by the Indigo Girls

I Get By With....

Look at this beautiful cake...half eaten less than a day upon arrival. Happy Valentine's Day to my Husband, who could care less about Valentine's Day, but sees it as a holiday where the Cubs pitchers and catchers report. The cake was shipped from Omaha, and has Guiness in the batter. Could I have pursued a better gift for the man I love? I think not.

I don't know how I am so lucky to have the friends I do, but well, I am. I was overtly aware of this on Super Bowl Sunday, as I sat with my girlfriend's in the kitchen at a good friend's home, laughing, and laughing and laughing. Then I hung with the boys a bit, watching the game, but sitting between Maddie's GodDaddy and SuperNurse Karin's brother, and it really hit home that there is such an easy comfort in being surrounded. Surrounded by love, friendship, and fellowship that comes fluidly and you can sit and shoot the shit, and be accepted, and when you are broken they pick up the pieces. My heart was so full that day.

Back to the cake. Remember my friend Julianne in Omaha? She picked me up at the library when Nate was a baby! I can't help but think that there was a higher power at work that day, because one day JulzHolla moved to Omaha, where I had the pleasure to visit a few times, making friends with Leslie, and then we all got into triathlons and Leslie roped in Yallison and Yallison roped in Yashley and though we had never met all together at one time, we all just clicked and became friends. Fast forward to the Omaha triathlon, where afterwards Leslie had Julz and I over for pizza and she invited Kelly the Awesome Massage Lady, and Julie the Cake Queen. Julie had brought a triathlon cake that was seriously good, and somehow Julie the Cake Queen and I have hooked up and she sent me cake in the mail. I seriously know how to pick my peeps! Or at least, the Higher Power aforementioned knew who I needed in my life and very gently guided me there, and I have had the good sense to listen.

And that is the short version of the story. I am trying so hard to be good to others, and positive, and I think it's really paying off, because the people I have surrounded myself are so equally full of such good energy.

This past Sunday, Pastor's sermon was about letting your light shine. Do for others, share the light within you. It wove so perfectly with what I've been practicing in Yoga, Namaste, and speaking my own personal truth and all, that I couldn't help but feel inspired. I see what doing good can do for me, and when you ask nothing in return, amazing things happen, like you get cake. In the mail. Pay it forward my friends, and truthfully, the good in those you choose to surround yourself with becomes a palpable thing. I have found my peace at long last.

"The warmth of a friend's presence brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, and pleasure to all of life."

Song for the Weekend:

"For Good"

From the Wicked Soundtrack

Forgot to Post it

This is my favorite photo of the hood as it stands right now. We also got the call that there is no school tomorrow. Something about how they need to clear paths, parking lots and entryways for the kids to get in. Eat your heart out channel 5 photo contest....

Snow Kids Snowed In

In case you haven't heard, roughly 20 INCHES (give or take, skim a little off the top) of snow was dumped on the greater Chicagoland area last night. We had a real honest to goodness blizzard, complete with 60 mph winds, lightning and thunder, and a bottle of wine for good measure.

There have been all sorts of cutesy monikers used to describe said storm, which incidentally happens to be among the top 5 worst in this area. Words like, "SNOWTOPIA" and "SNOWMAGEDDON" and others are being tossed around like nickels at a casino on an Indian Reservation, and I'm kind of getting tired of them.

To be fair, there's a lot of effn snow. A lot. I took pictures to memorialize this historical event. We live in the cul de sac, so when the plows and front loaders started pushing the snow into piles, we got the biggest ones. Big enough for the 7 year old outside junkie to snowboard down and land safely in the street. And yes, I said land "safely in the street". Because our street isn't even close to being cleared. There's no way any car, truck, bus or helicopter can drive down it. At this point, I am not sure how the hell the kids are getting to school tomorrow. Yeah, it's that bad. And yeah, I'm secretly loving it. I'm making a gigantor pot of soup. Maddie and I made some easy bake oven brownies and are about to make some chocolate chip cookies. We've done homework, read, watched movies with popcorn at 10 a.m., and we are generally just hunkered down and loving a breather day.

Because that's what this is. Literally a day off of life (except for John, who is telecommuting in the basement. Apparently his co horts in Buenos Aires did NOT have a snow day). We have no where to go. And who would even want to?


It's kinda hard to tell how deep the snow is in front of the house until you realize that is a TREE that is almost covered. Here is Jack climbing said tree. Usually he needs to work up a jump to grab those branches.

This is what my STREET looks like. Like I said, I'm not sure how the hell the kids are getting to school tomorrow.

This is kid in street. He was really loving this.

More tree covered by snow.

Sort of snowboarding. Actually, I think this is falling off the snowboard. Very poetic.

This is the view from inside. The drifts really are bigger than she is.

He was eager to point out how high the snow is off the back porch. Apparently we are not opening that door for a while.

This is what it looks like when you have a snow lover trying to show you what it is like to stand and walk in the snow out on the back porch.

Although I love this being home and all, I do have to say I hope it doesn't snow again for a while. Because it's supposed to get arctic cold around these parts, and so the snow isn't melting for a while. And what will happen when it does? I don't want to find out. So we're in, we're warm, and we're enjoying watching the neighbors and village dig out.

Ladies Nite Out

I know it's a Christmas Photo. It's also a reminder that they are the reasons why I do what I do, and why I'm trying to be the best work in progress I can be.

Friday night I found out that my super awesome yoga instructor was doing this "Ladies Night Out" yoga special. It was all of an hour and a half (scheduled) of yoga and journaling and then when it was over we had some wine and cheese and various chocolate delights. I didn't get home until almost 11, and it was WONDERFUL.

First of all, let me just say that Super Yoga Lady Jean is like my own personal therapist...even in a room full of people. She's not one of those hippy dippy yoga leaders either, but she believes in the whole mind body connection thing, and truly, I just feel like a better person after going through the postures and listening to what she has to say when I walk out her door.

And so, I invite you to journal your own thoughts, if you have some nice music and a quiet break in life, to contemplate the questions we contemplated a few days ago. It's been a long while since I've introspected, and I have missed it.

So here are your thoughts for the day/week/month/year:

Acknowledge the abundance in your life. Take a moment to list all the areas where you have much. This can include anything and everything, right down to having something as basic as running water.

Take a moment to give thanks for this abundance. In whatever capacity. You could be thanking a God, a friend, whomever, whatever. How do you say "thank you"?

It's time to clean house, inside and out. Literally and figuratively. Make a list of anything you want to let go of.

*Of course, from an introspective point of view I don't exactly have a list here, more of half a novel written. There really is so much to let go of, isn't there?

Contrast what you want to let go of, and write now about what you want to draw near to you in this year.

Think of one word that you want to personify and be and exalt throughout this new year.

*Okay, so I won't rewrite everything else that I have written because it's personal, like a diary entry. At least it's more personal than this blog (there are SOME things I do keep to myself). However, I will tell you I had two words of how I want to live 2011. The first one is "kindness". Kindness in not only action, but in thought as well. At the end of each yoga session, Jean challenges us to speak our own personal truth and that which is 'true, kind and necessary'. So I have to remember really, the "necessary" part, and in turn, ask myself if what I'm saying is both true and kind. This works well for my friends, but gets tricky around my husband and kids. I'm just sayin'.

The other word I had for 2011 is "phoenix", as in the bird, not the City. Think on that and take it as you will. Definitely food for thought.

So, in case I don't get to blog this week:

Your song of the week this week is: "Orange Sky" by Alexi Murdoch

Irrational Mom Thoughts

Apparently, I am not as crazy as I would lead myself to believe. Truly. My so called 'irrational" mom thoughts aren't so very irrational after all, thus proving my maternal instincts are superior to...well, at the very least they are superior to my husbands maternal instincts.

10 days ago my daughter woke up leaking green goo from her eyes and my first thought was, "Holy Shit! She's going to go BLIND". Of course I didn't say that out loud, because Jack would be thrown into some sort of panic, so I very calmly took her to the local urgent care because it was Saturday.

They swabbed her eye goo and put her on both oral antibiotics and eye drops. We went home, wiped down EVERYTHING. The following Tuesday urgent care calls us with the lab results, but won't really give me them. The nurse was eating her lunch (which bothers me on a whole other sensory level besides being rude when you're making a professional phone call) and tries to impart how urgent it is I get in contact with my regular doc. Okay, I think, but anytime you do an urgent care visit you're supposed to follow up with your doc. I never do. My doc and I have a good relationship. He knows where I work, and what I do, and so he knows that I'm not an alarmist and can handle routine Pink Eye and ear infections just fine.

Imagine my surprise when an hour after I talked to Lunch Lady Land my regular doc called and basically forced a follow up appt. on me.

Good thing too. Apparently my daughter's lab results came back with a "very rare" form of MRSA and a "Rare" form of influenza. Uh, so once again...my first maternal instinct thought of "Holy Shit, she's going bline" wasn't so off base. Doc said we NEVER see this in the eyes, and so now she's also on this antibiotic we swab up her nose. Google MRSA if you want to read more...it's nasty. We've been reported to the county health dept. and get reswabbed today to get off their "list".


Don't you worry, she's not contagious. And nobody else in the fam got this either. Odd.


It's been one of those weeks. So, inspired my Julz's blog about her swim suit (mine was in similar condition, although not quite bad enough to inspire a wardrobe malfunction, yet) I bought a new workout swim suit. The water was a bit chilly, but I was reminded by why I love swimming yesterday. I felt free. It was wonderful.

Song of the week: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
Check it out. It's a great one for a long run.

Namaste

In Yoga, my super awesome and inspiring instructor Jean ends each session with a very informal "Om" to send peace light and harmony out into the world. We also have our hands in a prayer like formation and touch our forehead, to remember the wisdom within, our lips so that we may speak our inner truth and that which is true kind and necessary, and then our hearts to honor the great love within us that we have to give. Then she bows forward and says, "Namaste", and we, the students follow suit.

A rough and bastardized translation of Namaste is, "The light in me recognizes the light in you". It's very metaphorical. The word "light" could be transplanted with other words, such as "God", "Goodness", "Love", etc. Each week for me it means something different, and I am so grateful I have my yoga teachings to fall back on when I need a little inward guidance.

Thursday I had Maddie's 4 year old parent teacher conference. I was glad John wasn't with me, even though he usually comes, because when he really disagrees with something he gets almost borderline belligerent. I do not argue logical arguments with him. It's not worth it. I have my ways to win an argument though...don't you worry.

At Maddie's conference, her teacher recommended she continue on in the preschool junior 5's program for another year. This was a bit of a pill to swallow. Sure, when I was a teacher, I expected parents to follow my recommendations, and as a therapist I often have to explain hard truths and sometimes even bad news to parents, so out of respect for the teacher (who I think is fabulous, by the way) I heard her out and then completely disregarded her recommendations.

Her basis is NOT academically influenced. The girl knows her letters, her sounds, her phone number and can count higher than some kindergartners by rote. Her suggestion is based on the fact that she has a late birthday (August 15th) and that she's small. There may have been something thrown in there about her social emotional issues too, but let's backtrack.

First of all, I do not think my daughter should be held accountable for the sins of her mother (remember that trip to Napa I took while pregnant? To be fair, I was like, 5 minutes pregnant and didn't know it, but still...argh, the GUILT!). Secondly, she shouldn't be held accountable for her father's family genetics. John's grandmother and Aunts on his dad's side are just NOT very big people, and from what I gather looking at pictures, they never were growing up. She has always been on the wrong side of the scale with her weight, and there is nothing I can do about that. I've had every test run, from diabetes to growth hormone tests and she comes out NORMAL. She's just built small. It's how she is. It's how God made her. And maybe some wine helped...but she's exactly the way she is supposed to be. She will always be small, and a year more of preschool will not help that. This I know for sure.

As I said, her teacher mentioned that she may need time to grow socially and emotionally. Trust me when I say her emotional IQ is just fine. She couched this statement with another that stated that if Maddie did go to Kindergarten, she would be successful academically, and would behave fine. The teacher would never have a problem with her, but maybe another year would boost her confidence and really, "let her shine, because she is so shy during group discussions".

Hold the phone. You're recommending I hold her back because she is "shy"? Really? And because unlike the other girls she doesn't exactly have a bestie in the class? I'll address the latter statement first. I think Maddie, for lack of better wording, could really give a shit about the other girls. You have to remember that her best playmate, her older brother is only 13 months older than she is, and so like twins, they have always had each other. Being someone who on occasion has taught social skills classes to kids aged 4 on up, I can reassure you that her social skills when she has a one on one play date are quite age appropriate. She's fine.

But the shyness? Well, anyone who knows Maddie since birth knows that she has always been that way. It is just the way she is wired. She doesn't like groups, doesn't like crowds, and very definitely, does NOT like having to perform-even around adults she knows. And by perform I mean "fake it". Fake happily giving hugs and kisses when you don't want to, fake having a good time just because someone says you should.... She doesn't do it. That partly drives me crazy because I want her to be the wacky social extrovert that I am, yet mostly it makes me proud that my baby girl can stand her ground and doesn't play the fool for NOBODY.

My dear friend Jenny says I am angry about this recommendation. Maybe I am. I don't know. I do know that John was. Just to be clear though, I really love her preschool, and I think her teacher has her best interests at heart. But I know with everything in me, that on this she is wrong. John and I both agree that just because she's shy isn't really a good reason to hold her back, and in anything in life, I really don't ever want to hold her back. Or hold her down. I want her to have wings to fly and grow and just be herself.

The problem is, who she is, and how she is wired is perceived as being a little...mmmm...defective, or in need of fine tuning. I say she is hardwired this way. This is how God made her, and if she is shy, then so what? The light she has within her will see the light in others willing to let her fly and her path will be lit by a beautiful brightness that she will create on her own terms. That's really Maddie in a nutshell...four perfect words that describe her to a T. On. Her. Own. Terms. Always. And so, within reason I'll let her live her life on her own terms. It's a promise.

Namaste my baby girl, Namaste.