Monday, April 04, 2011

Do YOU Feel Safe in Your Home? It's a Loaded Question

I am, finally, inexorably down for the count. The kids were sick, I felt icky last week, finally went to the doc, got a diagnosis and some antibiotics and then proceeded to get worse. So this morning I called off my little baby patients, because it seemed to be the ethical thing to do, and drove my sorry butt to urgent care after I took the kids to school. I still have mom duties, you know. So, at urgent care, they start going through the questions. The first one being, "Do you feel safe at home?" I looked the nurse guy square in the eye and said, "Um, well, I'm a mom of 3 kids, two of whom are boys. Define safe". He then says, "Well, it's a state question, and we have to ask it in cases of domestic violence." Well, then, "Oh, well, they like to shoot me with their Nerf Dart Guns. I really don't think those are safe". And as serious as a heart attack, the nurse looks at me and he says, 'i'm just putting it that YES you are safe in your own home." And he laughed, so I guess in all my nastiness of sickdom I haven't lost the ability to keep the mood light. In my temporarily bronchially fogged mind, I sort of wondered what exactly would happen if I had seriously answered with a "No". Hm. The Doc came in, looked at my throat which is red and raw and nasty from coughing and ordered a chest x-ray. It looks pretty bad, but it's "just" bronchitis, so she doubled my dose of drugs-which I cannot take until I get the kids from school for fear of driving under the influence and suggested a salt water gargle. My palette is literally an open wound. I am not keen on throwing salt on an open wound, so have taken to swallowing tablespoons of honey and sucking on Riccola's like they are going out of style. It helps though. I keep thinking the upside of all this is that since I have no appetite unless I'm drinking hot liquids and sucking cough drops, maybe I'll drop these last 5 dastardly lbs, that I've been trying to get rid of. The downside is that since I can't really breathe, exercise, or at least cardio isn't an option, so i'm really just losing muscle tone pounds and will just be thinner and jiggley-er. Being sick requires one to think on things that are abstractly odd. I mean, is it just me, or is anyone else freaked out by those little iphone symbol thingies popping up on tv and in magazines? Hello? 1984??? Did anyone read it? Because I'm pretty sure that's a good way for "Big Brother" to keep his proverbial eye on us. I've seen those creepy Morgan Freeman movies. I know. I know. Also, WHY WHY WHY is daytime tv so awful? I'm into a really good book. I'm working really hard on my artistic recovery, but sometimes I need a brain break. Except, the only thing on is the View and it makes my brain take not just a break, but a complete all inclusive vacation so that I am mush, as are my opinions and original thoughts. Sherry Shepherd should really stick to her "Queen of Jordan" Schtick. At least on 30 Rock she's funny. I must run and get my little peeps now. Then I get to medicate. Maybe if I have some drug induced perceptual breakthroughs I will blog more later, although they may sound like the ramblings of a mad woman. And in my defense, I'm not that far off without the meds.

2 comments:

Weiss Women said...

Oh you poor thing! Sherrie Shepard is so annoying. But what is your other choice? Hoda and Kathie Lee? Don't tell ANYONE but I kind of like them. At least they drink at 10am. What cracks me up is that you/we still drive the kids to school and then we drive OURSELVES to the urgent care! You are an open wound in the palatte and yet you drive! That is just how it is. I do the same thing. Please get better. Drink some cider with butterscotch schnapps in it or something! I will try and call you today. It is spring break and we are having a double playdate here. So I shouldn't have to watch the kids at all! ;)

Whimsical Prompt and Other Musings. said...

HAHA I like your post it sounds like me on a normal day (Without the bronc). No one gives us mothers the credit where it is needed....and yess 1984 is on its way. Let's not even get me started on that one! LOL. Having a cough drop seems like the only relief for me when I'm really sick and you feel justified to take 8 of them in under and hour because your in so much pain haha.