Here Comes Your Future....BEWARE!

This past weekend in our town was homecoming. At preschool yesterday, the teachers posted up pictures of their gorgeous sized zero daughters who look like models and wrote on the dry erase board: "Here's the future...it will be here before you know it!" And I could only think of how that was cruel and unusual punishment. I don't need the reminder that it all goes by so fast. And as I write this Maddie has her Naked Porn Star looking Barbies getting into the corvette to go for a ride....

Last week was Mother's Day at the preschool. Cute little presentations followed by cinnamon muffins and lemonade times two for me. The kids also made me presents, but Maddie made me give mine back to her because "I made it mom, so that means it's MINES!".

Maybe someday in the future my daughter would like to take a photo with her mother. This is what she did when I asked her nicely to take one with me. Nate wanted to always remember the giant lemonade trough, so he asked me to take a picture of it for him. And of course I did!

I don't like this picture of me, but at least Nate didn't mind taking a photo with his mama!

And here is Mr. Cool pants performing. Right in front of the infamous lemonade cooler.
The little ones performed in the sanctuary. This is what Maddie does when I say "Smile for the Camera!"

This has been a BIG week, and it keeps getting bigger. Thursday was my mother's day 'show'. Saturday I ran my first ever 8k, "Kicking the Trails" to support a family at church whose son has leukemia, and somehow I became the church organizer and got about 20 people to walk and raise money. It was cold and rainy so I ran it...not my best time, but running uphill on some big ass rocks trying to avoid tree roots was hard. So was running back down a wet leafy trail. Maybe next year I'll do better. Or maybe next year I'll just walk with everyone else.

Sunday was Mother's Day. I had to read the litany and response at church for the 8:30 service, so I sort of foiled the whole "Breakfast in Bed" thing, which is okay by me. We had a ginormous brunch when we got home. Also, in lieu of a formal "Happy Mother's Day" the boys found it prudent to simultaneously shoot me with their lasers.

For the record, John's lecture on NOT fighting on Mother's Day was pretty much a waste of breath for him. The boys fought about who could hand over the card, then the almost tore the card yelling about who wrote what on the card, etc. etc. I felt bad for the DAD. He tried. He did succeed in making a nice fish dinner and we all went and saw that "Oceans" movie. I highly recommend it; although Nate declared when the sharks were not on the screen, "Moooom. This mooobie is boooooring." It was NOT.

Now, between Cub Scouts last night, Soccer practice for the little ones (yay cancelled), a surgical followup for Maddie and Jack's soccer game, I will be ready to work tomorrow, and attend Nathan's preschool graduation on Thursday.

That's right. He's graduating 4 year old preschool and moving into the big time...kinneygarten. Instead of beautiful prom photos, I could hold up a baby pic of Nate, and then his graduation picture and say to all the new moms "Here now, is YOUR future. It will be here before you know it". And it's true. It seems so impossible that 7 years ago I held my own baby for the first time.

And now in 2 days my middle son will be a graduate. Sure, it's only preschool, no big deal you say. And I think, Preschool today....college tomorrow. It's here before I know it.

Ooooh Boys!

Maddie has not been well. This has been a VERY rough week for her. I feel like I am violating her human rights everytime I am putting a per doctor's orders Tylenol Suppository up her booty. This morning she shot me looks that could kill and I know she hated me for it, until 20 minutes later when she was feeling well enough to eat and she forgot all about her uh, 'issues'.

I decided to take the boys with me to Tar Jhay to buy John's cousin a nice gift for her wedding shower (which is tomorrow, way to plan ahead Jen) and I told them if they were good we'd go out to lunch. Which was a total lie because I REALLY wanted Burrito's Grande (a cute little new place in our town) and I didn't care if they were good or not, I was going there come hell or high water. The Big Bull's Eye just happens to be right next to Kohl's and I wanted to pop in to see if I could find something decent to wear tomorrow and possibly something to match the tutu can can skirts I bought Maddie and Brooke to wear for Brooke's birthday party (They can match, they're the closest thing the either of them will have to having a sister and my sister and I liked to match just for the fun of it, so there!).

Fast forward, Ding and Dong were running thru aisles, hiding in clothing racks, making fart jokes, hitting each other and just being overall gross in that acceptably unacceptable boy like nature.

Whatever. I ditched Kohl's and went to lunch, because I WAS HUNGRY. We made a last ditch effort at the resale shop, where I said, (and this is pretty much a direct quote, "If you 2 don't knock it off, I will beat you silly and I don't care if these nice ladies call DCFS on me because a quiet jail cell all alone will be LIKE A VACATION!"

And then I heard the ladies behind the counter laughing, because neither they nor my own children finds it ever necessary to take me seriously. I think those blue hairs went home and relayed my frustration to their own daughters and found it hilarious and in an oddly comeraderie-like way. Sigh.

I came home and told John I feel like I have spent the day with Beavis and Butthead. Because this is just how boys are. At my White Trash Garage Sale (yes that was the title and I will blog about it later) my good friend Jenny was watching Maddie and said that I deserved a kid like her, because not that the boys are 'bad' but I just sort of needed a friend.

Yes, Yes I do.
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Stencilectomy Success

It's only the second half of day one sans tonsils and I have already had enough with the blond haired blue eyed pariah I like to call Barbie. But Maddie is chilling out, relaxing, and enjoying the show, so what can I say?

In short, today's surgical events went well. We got to the hospital at 6:30, met with the ENT, chatted with the anesthesiologist (whom I requested based on my insider info from Super Nurse) and I sent my hungry, scared child on her merry way into the O.R. right on schedule at 7:30. She was done at 7:54 (I know this because you get an ID number to watch on the flat screen so you know what is going on at all times), and saw the ENT around 8.

It's kind of a scary thought when an ENT, who does this all the time and sees this all the time says, "Well, Jen, those tonsils were huge. So huge in fact, I have to wonder how she was getting in enough air to breathe". Hmmmm. And then he followed up with "I think you made the right decision to take them out". Again....Hmmmm. I suppose I'll agree.

We had to wait a while for her to wake up. In fact, we couldn't get in to recovery until shortly after 9, at which point she fell asleep on my lap until John and I switched and then switched again and finally shifted enough to wake her around 10:30. She did not want her popsicle, but downed TWO hospital sized containers of ice cream and so we went home to begin the Barbie Bonanza.

She's sleeping now, but was seriously pissed about 2 hours ago because "mommy forgot to feed me wunch". No baby, mommy didn't forget. You just can't have it. Her voice is all funny and muddled, like her insides are swollen, but she's doing well.

I am sure that tomorrow she'll be a bit more herself. She'll be able to eat some soft foods, like jell-o and soup broth. I could sure use a glass of wine, but will hold off until I know she's really a-okay and won't need to be rushed to the E.R.

Until then, I guess my dad will have to have one for me.....

Car Crash

No, I'm not referring to the song by Matt Nathanson (which I love by the way). I am referring to the fact that I was rear-ended on Monday after I took Maddie to the Doctor for her pre-op physical, ran to Wal-Mart and then was heading to preschool to pick up Nate and Kate.

For my good friends who know about my less than stellar driving record, I swear this one wasn't my fault. Really. It's not like the time I hit a 65 year old pedestrian. Well, I didn't so much as hit him as he jumped out at me and bounced off of my car. That story in and of itself is like my own personal party trick- every time I'm with some of my favorite people, and we're sitting around having a few beers they're all always like, "Okay Tell us the story about the time you rammed your car into a pedestrian again!". Or the one that starts out with, "Well, I was backing the car out of the driveway and managed to hit 3 parked vehicles in the process."

No friends, this time I was at a stop sign. Just sitting there watching the cars go by, when WHAMMO! I was jarred. And all I could think of was, "Oh shit. Now I'm going to be late picking the kids up from school." So I turned my head, checked on Maddie (she was fine, the guy literally was starting to roll thru the stop at less than 5mph) and then I had to call the school while this older guy was standing at my window yelling, "There's no damage! There's no damage! I just checked!" At which point I put up my index finger in my best, "You need to hold on a minute because mommy is on the phone, buddy" attitude.

I got out and checked. He was in this big truck with some sort of crash bar on his bumper which dented and he kept saying, "I thought you were going thru the stop and I was looking the other way", and I kept thinking, "You can't really go through a stop sign when there are cars coming because then you can die fool!"

There were some scratches on my bumper and a bit of a compression at the stress joint in the back, but in good conscience I couldn't even ask the guy to fix the scratches, because most of them are caused by my boys closing the garage door while I'm unloading groceries. Get the visual on that...closing garage door on van hatch back. Funny.

So we are fine. I was in my first not my fault accident. And I'm a little sore around the edges today, but I think I have some wine and muscle relaxers. Tonight might just be a good night!

Easter

Has it really been something like 3 weeks since Easter? I suppose blogging wise I have a lot of catching up to do before Maddie's surgery on Tuesday (she passed her pre-op physical with flying colors, by the way). No biggie, just her stencils coming out. (Or if you need a Nate translation, that's 'tonsils".

I think he has a chocolate ring around his mouth, and it's all his Godfather's fault. Jack and his partially blue face would really, really like a dog. Too bad for him, but he can keep playing with everyone elses.

These are my mom's cool shoes. My mom always wears gross black gym shoes, so I thought it was prudent to document a cute shoe wearing event.

Maddie thought the purpose of her dress was to twirl in it and lift it over her head. We have some partially naked shots, but I didn't think she'd want those up there. She really was hoping for a 'boy dress' to wear. This from the same kid who wore a Tinkerbell gown to Family Reading Night at Jack's school yesterday....

They thought it was so fun to spin and hold hands and dance. So cute.

Pre Uncle Chocolate face.

More of Jack and his favorite playmate.

Auntie got the kids movies, which is going to come in handy next Tuesday when Maddie is confined to the couch for a couple of days.

Brooke likes to pose in her pretty dress. Maddie could have cared less.

It's more about the blue face than anything, really.

The Two-Wheeler

Nate can now ride a two wheel. It is very clearly not a bike. A bike has four wheels (training wheels). He rides a two wheel. Sometimes without a helmet because he thinks he doesn't need one.

Being the good mother that I am, I made sure to catch him using the tree as a bumper. He was okay. He hasn't done it since his first run out, so I think he learned his lesson. Oh look, it's a random photo of my kids coloring Easter Eggs. Why can't I get these in order?

Off We GOOOOOOO!

Setting up. He can now do this without Daddy's help since we lowered the seat a bit.

Oooohhh, camoflage egs. Yes, camoflage. And one pink one, of course.

Mother Daughter Bonding

"Mom, you have all those burns on your arm because you cook dinner for us every night, right?"

"Oh, Those? Those are Freckles Maddie!"

"Freckles??? What are Freckles?"

"Well, it's just how God made me."

"Yeah, and this is how God made me."

"Yup, and he made you beautiful and perfect."

"Yeah, he did. But not you."

What Happens When We Visit National Landmarks?

Duh...wrestle mania of course. There's all 3 of 'em gettin' into it. True to form. Oh yah, see the Washington Monument in the background?

This is the photo that John took of me and the kids at the monument. I'm sure I've mentioned his camera skills before.

Okay...getting ready for the big race from the Washington Monument to the WWII memorial. Because we don't just observe and appreciate. We spin headlong into marble objects with a battle cry to shame the ancient Huns.

Nate wanted to "touch the monument". He is literally poking it...like the 'I'm not touching you!' poke you give a sibling.

When we visit historical landmarks, we like to pretend we're airplanes.

And fly and fly and fly.

Thumbs up! Love it!

Sitting pretty for the WWII vets.

If you look closely you can see my kids running helter skelter down the hill. Two seconds after this was taken Nate decided to roll on the grass like a turtle on it's back.

"And now that I am done poking the Washington Monument I will aggravate my sister who was doing nothing but sitting and relaxing."

Museums, Museums, Museums, OR Day 2

On our 2nd day in D.C., we hit the Ntl. Museum of Natural History and saw the dinosaur that inspired scenes from Night at the Museum (the Movies). But being the good parents that we are, we lied and said that the dinosaur on display was THE dinosaur. The real one. The star/celebrity.

After that (photos in no order at all to follow) we hit the museum of American History. We missed the 1st ladies inaugural ball gown exhibit thingy because we spent almost TWO hours in a War exhibit. My really good friend went to that exhibit also last November, but being that she has big girls and not big boys, she said they were through the exhibit in about 45 seconds. We spent nearly 2 hours exploring America's Wars...all of them. Revolutionary, 1812, Spanish/American, Mexican,WWI, II, etc...all the way throught Afghanistan. It was exhausting, but really interesting.

There were also really cool science labs for kids in the American History Museum. Here are my kids showing their good sides.

Maddie liked to have us take her picture while she was doing things, like snapping, zipping her shirt, and dancing.

Nate was really excited to take his picture with "The Little Averham Lincoln".

Jack with a Revolutionary War weapon.

This is either George Washington's sword or Cornwallis' Sword of Surrender. I forget which. Either way, coolest thing ever for a boy to see.

Yes, that is a real unsharpened hatchet from the Revolutionary war.

Emphasis on Unsharpened.

If this ever comes to pass in American Politics, we are all very much in trouble.

Jack really wanted a photo of himself next to this canon on a floating gun boat sunk during Washington's time and then somehow found. Apparently the cold water of whatever River it was in preserved it quite well. It looked like a tetanus nightmare if you ask me.

We were on the lookout for Mr. Garfield the entire trip. President for less than a year and shot by Charlie Gitow (spelling?). Thanks Johnny Cash for the history lesson. "Mr. Garfield been shot down low!"

This is one of the millions of things I wanted to see in D.C. that I actually got to see. John had the camera, so the angle is shoddy. But I saw Dorothy's slippers. There really is no place like home.

This was supposed to teach the kids about centrifugal force or something like that. The boys thought it was a spinning gun thingy.

I don't really need to explain this, do I?

AT the museum of Natural History, there is a kids exploration room. Maddie enjoyed looking at the dead bugs, not so much the live ones in the butterfly atrium.

That's about right.

Using kitchen utensils, you had to make the ball go into the hole. It's all physics. That's why John was in charge.

Jack wanted a photo with this peculiar specimen.

There was a lot of walking that day, but it was so worth it. So fun. And we didn't even put a dent into either museum. Sigh....maybe next time?