With This Ring...

Somehow, my beautiful symbol of John's eternal and undying love, my engagement ring broke after almost 12 years of intermittent wear and tear. The setting for one of my side diamonds just snapped off from the rest of it's pretty little diamondy world, and I didn't even realize it until we were driving home from my sister's house on Easter. Because I only wear my ring on a sometimes basis, I have no idea how long it's been broken for.

I know that the statement, "Wearing it sometimes" bothers some. I have good valid reasons though.

Reason one: I wore it once after Jack was born, changed a dirty diaper and scratched the bajeebies out of his little hiney. To avoid a call in to DCFS, I just took it off, unless I was wearing nice clothes and sans children for a while.

Reason two: I NEVER wear my rings to work. I work with small children, some of whom are very "active', or their special needs require me to do a lot of holding and positioning. Back to reason 1: instead of having an agency called on me and DCFS show up at my door, I decided to keep my job by not causing bloody gouges on some poor babies' face. Or butt for that matter.

So now my ring is broken, and what to do? I took it to a local jeweler where I've had it cleaned and polished before. They do a GREAT trustworthy job.

The saleslady looks at my ring and points out that yes, the ring can be soldered into a working wearable piece of jewelry....but...well, you KNOW it's just a band aid solution, right? Apparently, the only way to really fix the problem is to reset the whole damn thing.

As the soldering band aid can last a week, or years (but not likely according to this fine jewels pusher) I really should try to re size it. And, Oh Look! Here's our book of bands, we could find the exact same one...and it will cost OVER A GRAND to reset it.

At this point I had to ask what resetting entailed. I am not a jewelry person. I don't really accessorize, as there's really not much by way of accessories that will "fix" my flaws. Sparklies ain't makin' it better you guys.

I became educated on the idea of a complete reset button on the ring. Apparently, it's like a whole new ring, and they take my old broken down 12 year old band and melt down the gold for a credit or some such ridiculousness. Well...if that's the only way to fix it, then maybe next time I have a few spare grand lying around I'll consider the option....but the guilt creeps in.

The saleslady finishes her reset pitch and looks at me...a bit deviant for my liking and says, "Well, you know, you could ALWAYS get a NEW setting." I countered with the fact that I like my ring. It was a gift. I'm not a big fan of re gifting, unless it's a really horrible gift, like purple sweatpants, or teddy bear t-shirts.

I sear, she looks at me, and says, "Well, honey...we don't' keep our cars or hairstyles forever! We change those up!" Now I'm getting a wee bit frustrated, because my husband, has in fact, had his hairstyle forever. We're longtermers, her and I, so I say to the lady, "Well, I DO plan on keeping my husband forever. This was the ring he chose for me and it was blessed by the pastor when we got married! I would feel so guilty."

The Resetting Pimp looks at me very, mmm, I don't know, sympathetically I suppose is the right word. Like I just said I have cancer or something, and she says, "Oooh, you're one of those sentimental ones. How cute!"

Cute. She said that because I value a heartfelt gift that was blessed in a church in front of God and everyone that I am cute. This bothers me on so many levels, not the least of which I have never been referred to as "cute" for any reason ever at all. And now I'm being patronized for my sentimentality?

So I wonder, does anyone else feel this way? Does the ring, which is just a symbol, I know, but does the ring being blessed in a sacramental ceremony not mean anything anymore? Or did it ever?

Now, if my husband wanted to buy me an anniversary band to add on to the already existing fine jewelry I own I wouldn't oppose, but that ring, that man, this life we have created...well, we're lifers. In it for the Looooooong haul.

To quote a great friend, "That's just how we roll"....