When You Have To Choose

I'm starting to realize that part of my problem with artistic endeavors, home decorating, painting, and being organized is the requirement that you need to make choices. And what makes that harder is that the choices you have to make have to be done from such a vast array of possibilities that all just look so good. That's why I'm good at cooking and baking. You have one choice: Dinner with some allergen parameters and you're given the ingredient list with some variations. I can make those choices. I can help my children choose their clothing in the morning because it needs to be weather appropriate. I can choose a good book to read or movie to watch.

I cannot choose between my children.

Now, I'm not referring to choosing between them as in, "Who do I like more today?" because the real answer to that question varies. Daily. Hourly. Minute-ly. But now, I am faced with a very real situation that requires me to make a choice between Nate and Maddie. Don't worry, it's not life or death or anything as melodramatic as that, but still.

I consider myself to be a good mom. Maybe not a GREAT mom, but I really don't have the time or energy to be a GREAT mom. You know who the GREAT moms are, they never yell (my theory is they are medicated), they are always just a tad on the weirdly overjoyed side to see their kids home from school (medicated or drunk?) and they make cute little cut out sandwiches for their kids lunches. Oh, and GREAT moms do home made Halloween costumes. I fit into not one of those categories, but I do provide my children with basic necessities: food when they're grunting about hunger pains, activities such as soccer and gymnastics and basketball. I even show up for those cold ass soccer games that I ENJOY SO FREAKING MUCH.

However, as a just good enough mom, I now have to choose whose Thanksgiving program I go to. This is the problem with children who are 13 and 1/2 months apart. They do the same kind of stuff for school on the same days at the EXACT same time, the only problem is the schools are 15 minutes down the road from each other.

So, who do I support? Either way, someone will be disappointed that Mommy and daddy can't BOTH be there to watch. Nate has lines he needs to memorize. It's like a real show. This is Maddie's last year in preschool (the same preschool I've been with for the past 5 years), and so I'd love to be there for sentimental reasons.

How do I choose who I am lucky enough to let down that day? We only have 1 videocamera, so I can't record both of them to show the other parent. It's a conundrum, and the best solution I have is to beg the kindergarted teacher to allow me to come in for a dress rehearsal. But still, it won't be the same.

I'll never be a GREAT mom, but I was hoping I'd pass the test to be at least a C average mom. I'm thinking that if this is only the first of a few major let downs on my part in choosing between children, I may not even make the grade at all.