Why Are You So Mean to My Kids?

I swear, my husband whipped that one out on Thursday. He literally looked at me after eating a cookie, making his "Oh this is just not even meant to be called food" face and point blank asked if I hated the kids.

"Of course I don't hate the kids!"
"Well, then WHY are you so mean to MY kids?"
"What on EARTH are you talking about?"
"What the hell is this? An ORGANIC OREO???? This is just not right. I can't believe you bought these things. For heavens' sakes, they're called 'Back to Nature' cookies???!!! Again, I ask, Why are you so mean to these kids?"
"Well, they ARE dairy free....."

This question has been asked of me many, many many times. Like the time I put on the old 'Annie' movie. John asked which kid was in trouble and being punished. Dude, I LOVE musicals...especially Annie! Tim Curry....Bernadette Peters (and with a raised eyebrow he will inquire WHO THE HELL IS BERNADETTE PETERS???), Carol Burnett? "Annie " is NOT a punishment, it is a real musical treat and fun for the whole freaking family!!!

So, we differ on nutrition and dietary variety (thank God I'm in charge of that area for the most part because my kids would never shake hands with Mr. Green Vegetable. Ever.).
And, we differ on what is good old fashioned family fun entertainment. But I suppose there are a few things we agree on.

I just can't seem to think of them right now.