Diary of A Harried Housewife

What is WRONG with You?

2012-01-17T17:32:00.003-06:00

Last week on WGN news there was this parenting "expert" on shaming me into becoming a better parent. Apprently, I am a big time rule breaker. Shock. AAAAND Awe.

He claimed that it's in poor taste to ask your children (when they do something they shouldn't) what's wrong with them. In my house, this phrase, "Oh my Gawd, what is wrong with you two" frequently is shouted loud enough for the neighbors to hear when the boys are doing their bone headed boy things. At this point it's a rhetorical question, and they look at me all puzzled and actually have answered, "What? We didn't do anything wrong. Barbie's all tied up because the army guys wanted to shoot at her."

To be fair, I'm not asking the question in regards to their lack of educational excellence, such as "Dude. You got a B. What is wrong with you?". I don't think that's cool.

But seriously, when your kid is outside in the middle of July in his snowboots carrying a foam dart loaded weapon pretending he is shooting nazi's and zombies, I feel that as a parent it's pretty much my civic duty to find out what, exactly is wrong with these kids.

Or, when we're sitting at the dinner table and it gets mentioned that the beets in their salads will make them have red poop, and you start hearing, "Well, I've had green poop, and black poop and brown poop" (sounding for all the world like Bubba talking about the damn shrimps) "and now I get to have red poop" you have to really consider that your children have an odd little social depravity component stuck up their sleeves-saving crap stories (literally and figuratively) for when the Parent gets to come in clean up whatever mess has been made and wonder out loud, "What the hell's the matter with that kid?"

My sister often calls me and hears the kids yelling like Wild Animals in the background, and even SHE has asked, "Dude. What the hell's the matter with your kids" and my response is always, "How much time have ya got?"

I don't think its a good idea to berate kids for trying their best and getting subpar results, like I just mentioned with the school reference. Or even in sports. "Hey, you missed a basket. Whats the matter with you?". That shit hurts their self esteem and makes them resentful towards their parents.

But, when Hello Kitty is being run over repeatedly by a tank carrying those weird looking Ben 10 dolls, and you decide to ask, "What's WRONG with you? You don't leave tread marks on your sister's toys!" and mutter under your breath 'dammit, these kids are going to be in juvy some day, I swear',
Well, when you ask, you may get a whole laundry list of answers, giving insight into a psyche you'd never had access to had you decided to be a "good" and "caring" parent and not ask.

So, What is WRONG with you?

QWITTER

2012-01-08T08:33:00.002-06:00

As I sit here typing, I am also simultaneously devouring my eggs over medium on toast with the gooey center dripping all over my plate, and some crispy turkey bacon while sipping piping hot cup of Trader Joe's coffee. I will be the first to inform you all that failure never tasted so good.

If you are a devoted follower (hah. I'm pretty sure that title is limited to my mom and dad) you will have seen in my last post that I was doing this 21 (or 19) day detox cleanse thing. I was pretty committed to it, until yesterday when I decided to read some online post-ers gloating about their detox success and it pissed me off.

NOWHERE is anyone writing about doing this with a FAMILY to prepare alternative meals for. Look, I know I do some kooky crap but I also know that putting my kids on a restrictive diet isn't very smart. Jack's diet is restrictive enough, what with no egg or dairy being allowed, so for the most part the entire family isn't eating that stuff. But, even so, everywhere online it's "my roommates and I prepared this together" and "my boyfriend and I" and "our office staff". And I was all like, "Where's the working mom spending 6 hours a day in the kitchen preparing family meals?"Strike 1

I also wasn't a big fan of the fact that every time I went up and down my staircases my legs felt weak. Not tired or fatigued. WEAK. Like they didn't want to do this anymore. I stayed on my iron pill regimen during the week, but I don't like feeling weak, ever. For any reason. I thought to myself, "Self, this CANNOT be good." And so again, in reading the Online Bible, I found that some people had these symptoms, and others blogged that they were crazy. Strike 2.

The last straw is that you can't really exercise on this plan. I AM an exerciser, and I was doubly pissed that I was getting cranky and couldn't go for a run in 56 degree January weather. This week promises to be equally as nice, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity. Strike 3. I'm out.

I also started to think about the food choices I make for our family in general. Once in a while we slip and slide, but mostly we DO eat clean, home made, prepared by me meals. I have $500 worth of cow meat in my freezer, hormone, antibiotic free grass fed cow that I split with my parents. (For the first time in my life I "purchased" a bullet, but I won't even ever lay eyes on it Thank God). Not eating it would be crazy, and I have a roast thawing right at this very minute.

Look, for the most part John and I learned our lesson about food. We gave our livers a 1 week vacation. We got some good recipes and ideas out of the process. And now we're back to enjoying life, and not thinking about food all. the. time.

Failure is in fact, delicious.

The Great Detox....2012

2012-01-06T13:57:00.003-06:00

I decided on a whim (which is pretty much how I decide everything...big/small; major or minor decisions etc) after receiving the new Whole Living Magazine a few weeks ago to undertake their new 2012 commitment for Healthy/Clean eating and detoxing. I was also so moved by my gal Leslie's blog www.momontherocks.com and her commitment to an ENTIRE year of clean eating, that I thought...."Well, hell, I could stand to lose a few pounds. And I could stand to as they put it, "give my liver a VACAY". " Sure, why not. My liver could use a vacay. And while I'm on it the rest of me could too. But, well, if my liver is the only part of me that gets a vacation, then so be it.

Basically, this Whole Living Challenge (which you can find on their website www.wholeliving.com) takes you through 21 days of: NO Caffeine, NO dairy, NO meat, NO gluten, NO alcohol, NO added sugars, NO processed anything. I looked at the menus and thought, "Ohhhhhkay. I can totally do this. We eat relatively clean anyways. Every once in a while we have a snack that isn't the greatest. My guilty pleasure is a bleu cheese burger with fried onions on top and a nice cold beer. Yes on the fries ( I HATE people who eat burgers and then try and get all healthy and want "fruit on the side". What? You think you're going to be all healthy after that quarter pound monster that's sitting in the pit of your belly trying to digest for the next 4 days? Puhleeez. Keep it real people.

However....however. I did NOT anticipate how labor intensive this cleanse is. Made even more difficult by the fact that John has decided to be "supportive" and has decided to do this with me. By supportive I mean he is eating lunches and dinners that I have spent an exorbitant amount of time searching out ingredients for, chopping, and preparing, and cleaning up after. I am surprised that he has almost fully engaged though, because at the beginning he was all like, "Well, I can do everything except no caffeine. I can't work without it". But, he has quit the caffeine, and he's doing fine. Now he's trying to bastardize his dinners. He wants to do the cleanse for 2/3's of the day and I told him he was a quitter. Of course, he would never have brought it up if I wasn't damn near tears last night cursing my cauliflower and olive meal and saying how much I want to quit and how much I hate this.

I also did not anticipate the fact that apparently Day 3 of the cleanse is close to the worst day of your life. That's when the headache kicks in. That's when you're standing in front of the pantry taking in obligatory free smells from the box of spaghetti and lamenting your loss of morning coffee time. I swear to God and all that is Holy that last night I had dreams about fettuccine Alfredo and chocolate. I woke up really hungry and "eagerly" made my beet, mint, and apple smoothie for my cleansing breakfast. On day 3, I remember thinking as I was driving to work that if I died in a horrible car crash, right now, today at this very second, I would not have died happy. All I wanted was a candy bar. Or a cookie.

Yet, I have stuck with it, and am now nearing the end of day 5. No headache. No real hunger pains. I believe my chocolate dreams and feeling of deprivation stem from the fact that I may be harboring some serious food addictions. I'm even anticipating week 2 of the cleanse, when I get to add lean meats (fish) and beans into my diet, along with some tofu and edamame (soy proteins). John was gearing up for a different non-cleanse dinner ("happily" eating his roasted beet and garlic soup) when I told him I have lost FOUR POUNDS since Monday, and so I am sticking to it. He admitted he has lost FIVE POUNDS, but doesn't think it's legitimate. He thinks he weighed heavy with clothes on Monday, so maybe he has lost 3 pounds. We've also decided there's no way it's water weight. You have to drink a shit-ton of water on this cleanse, and to be honest, you're really not hungry, so you're not starving the pounds away.

Whatever he has lost, or whatever I have lost, it doesn't matter, I guess. Aside from giving our livers a "much needed vacay" we have learned a few things. Number one for him is that he always thought he needed meat to be filled up and give him a boost. This vegan veggie and fruit first week has proven otherwise, and he has been surprised that he hasn't been hungry.

I'm supposed to be keeping a food diary keeping track of my feelings about food, but I don't need to do that to learn that food is such a focal point in our daily living activities, whether it be for health or social reasons. Food is not a big priority in my daily life, but when I am deprived of my "favorites", it's easy to see how I start focusing on what I'm lacking.

So I guess we're bettering ourselves and our outlook, and of course our livers. I will caveat this by saying we are planning on this cleanse lasting only 19 days, as we're planning on taking a weekend ski trip for our Christmas present to each other. This cleanse won't cut it on the slopes. Until then though, I am going to try really hard to stick to it. It's no coincidence that in my 2 Yoga classes this week the focus was doing a lot of "cleansing' twists to help the digestive system. I feel like that is a higher power and serendipity telling me to keep going.

Not to mention that come January 19th I'm already looking forward to that celebratory glass of wine.....

It's 2012...So Now What? Time for a Better ME! YEAY!

2012-01-01T21:00:00.003-06:00

Look. I am NOT by definition a very vain person. I very rarely wear lipstick, the latest fashions are mostly lost on me (I maintain that skinny jeans were thought of by sadists, and the latest loose flowing styles make anyone who isn't stick thin look like they're pregnant), I don't have time to give a shit about my hair, and the BEST part of it all is, even if I DID dance with any of the above, my HUSBAND of 11 years takes no notice. It took him 3 and 1/2 weeks to notice this last time I cut my hair (almost 4 inches came off. That's alot). And he still hasn't noticed that I put caramel highlights in it. Before Thanksgiving. Granted, I put in, like 5 highlights and they look like the ones I already naturally have, but he really takes no notice of that stuff. And I am lazy enough to know a sweet deal when I see one. What? You prefer me without make-up? YES!

However, I am superficial and vain enough to realize I'm backsliding into 40. I am, for the most part a-okay with my age. I'm healthy. I'm fun. I have an incredible friend base. I am, for lack of better wording, very comfortable in my skin.

Except lately, there's a bit too much of my skin for my liking. See, I've always had these AWESOME dark circles under my eyes. They are, apparently, genetic. My sister has them. My mom has them. My mom's brother has them. We look like owls on heroin when we're pissed off. But as the years have gone on, these circles are getting darker. I thought taking iron pills as prescribed by my kids' doctor would fix it. No. I tried the allergy eye drops that the opthalmologist suggested- he thought I've had allergies in my eyeballs my whole life and never noticed. Well, Mr. MD doctor dude, you were wrong. My eyes still look like I was bitch slapped at a roadie bar. And NOW!!! I am getting wrinkles under the left eye. Look, this goes back to the vanity statement. I could handle symmetrical wrinkles under both eyes. I'm aging gracefully. But under one eye makes me look like a freak. And while I am not vain enough to wear the latest fashion or even makeup, there are 2 things I can't stand. One is smelling bad. The other, looking like a freak.

I had a deep and intimate conversation about my eye wrinkle with my esthetician. She is a friend and said she can't help me. Great. So this is something for me to discuss with the dermo when I go to get my freckle scan. So I will get this all under control. Maybe.

This segues nicely into what my New Year's Resolution is. Which is nothing. Resolution to me sounds too much like Revolution which means fighting and I think that a resolution is more or less fighting with yourself. So I've decided to just try and be better. Take time out for better skin care...that's number one, and I've already accomplished that. Sweet.

I'm also starting this bullshit liver detox diet thingy tomorrow. 21 days of no alcohol, caffeine, meat, dairy, etc. You eat whole grains, do a lot of smoothies, and basically give your body time to rid itself of toxins that have been building up during the year. I told John to do this with me, and he is all on board except for the no caffeine. Apparently, he is an addict, and can't solve his multi-billion dollar problems without coffee when he gets calls at 3 a.m. to chat up China. Whatever. I figure if I blog about it, I will be held accountable and stick to it for 3 weeks. Or less. John and I may be taking a long weekend away from the kids at the end of the month so this 21 day detox may really turn into a 19 day detox for me.

So, no resolutions here, and I am only slightly disturbed that my 8 year olds resolution is to 'get in shape and run five miles' while the 6 year old wants to get better at his video games. Mads wants to get in shape too. Guess I'm glad 2/3's of them want to live a healthy and active lifestyle....

I have suggestions for other people though. They should try to resolve to be not such big assholes like they've been all year. You know who you are. If you are judgemental, bitter, unforgiving, the "victim", or having a superiority complex, knock it off. And you should probably know that behind your back, people think you're an asshole. There. The cat is out of the proverbial bag. And it feels good to call a spade a spade. I don't have time to sit around and think about the fact that you're an asshole and that treat everyone around you like shit. So I don't. But YOU should resolve to make yourself more like able. I'm just saying.

So happy new year. Happy 21 day detox to me...which starts as soon as I finish this last glass of wine (I can see my dad's eye roll now... "She's drunk. And blogging again"...but I'm not. Just 'relaxing'. )

Besides...as someone so wisely put it to me tonight...you can't detox your liver if there's nothing in there TO detox....

Organization Smorganization

2011-12-26T10:55:00.002-06:00

As I type, all I can hear is Pink YELLING at me that she's a rockstar and wants to start a fight. The kids all now have their own radios, courtesy of a few years of Oma style gift giving. Nate is the latest recipient of a radio, and his is sweet because it has a remote, making Maddie jealous enough to try and entice captain Lazy Bones into a swap. It didn't really work out for Maddie. But the boys are enjoying yelling that they want to start a fight. They don't even know what they're saying.

Also, I'm horrified as I walk from room to room and see crap-shit everywhere. I told John as I was putting away laundry that I am definitely going to finish my upstairs office/reading room. He laughed and said, "Yeah, right". Okay, that kinda pisses me off. I am the kind of person that when I decide to do something, I do it. So I made it a point to point out to him that he had the same reaction when I said I was going to do a triathlon. And then a 10k. And then a 15k. However, I am smart enough to stop there. I refuse to say, "Hmmmm... a marathon sounds like a GREAT idea". Because unless my fat ass is sitting on the couch eating cheese and crackers and watching the Biggest Loser, the idea of running a marathon sounds pretty much like getting a root canal, only it would take longer- because I'm a damn slow runner (and I am okay with that. You burn more fat and calories with the slow steady pace 2x's a week right?).
Thanks, but no.

So my goals are pretty simple. I want to go to a cool store and get awesome storage containers to organize all this stuff. Maybe get some decos for the wall...make it all homey and inspired and Martha Stewarty up in here. Get my writing room done. Get the damn rolltop desk from my parents and attempt to refinish it. Get myself a laptop and get serious about my book, the rough unfinished 2nd draft of which I got great reviews on.

However, my BIGGEST problem comes in a package of 3. Life takes over. I still have to do laundry and get the kids to where they need to be for their activities AND work. So if anyone has time and talent they want to donate, I will take your offer and run with it. I don't have that kind of brain that allows me to be creative and organized and think of cutesy projects and how my rooms should look. And to be fair, the weaponry that my boys are now wielding in the form of Nerf World doesn't store well at all. There's no place for this crap to go. Except all over. Which leads us back to the horrified stares in every room as I pass through them.

Sigh. Full circle.

A Conversation About Running

2011-12-11T18:53:00.002-06:00

Me (While eating something fatty and delicious while watching the Biggest Loser Marathon Special): "John, I really think I should run a marathon.

John: "Why the hell would you do that?"

Me: "Look at them! Look at THEM! These 400 pound people are running a marathon. In a fricking desert. If they can do it, why can't I?"

John: "Uh. You know, they're doing it in like, 8 hours. If you're not even trying to be competitive, then what's the point of running a marathon?"

Me: "I don't know, because it's all inspirational and shit? Look at them! They are so proud, and crying and hugging, and they just ran an effin' marathon. I've never done that?"

John:" Dude. That guy just 'finished in 10 hours. Big deal. You could do it in 10 hours. So again, what's the point."

And I concede: He is sooo very wise, this husband of mine.

Pass the hummus babe.

Predendum

2011-12-09T18:51:00.001-06:00

It's like an "addendum", but beforehand.

Right now, my kids are watching a Veggie Tales movie about "St. Nick and the Joy of Giving". I contend, that with what you are about to read, that if even the Veggie Tales "get it", it's okay. Long live the Claus.

Even Jesus Believes in Santa

2011-12-09T17:54:00.006-06:00

Contrary to popular belief, I do not drink and blog. Okay, in the spirit of Christmas I will be honest and say that sometimes I drink and blog. Or most of the time. Whatever.

So you liked the hook of my title, eh? Well, before I get all these hate comments that I need to moderate let me explain (by the way, in case you're wondering, if EVER you leave me a comment and use the "R" word, you are blackballed, banned, blocked, etc. I don't even care that you don't like what I wrote. You may NOT use that word in my presence.)

Apparently my ADD kicked in...as I was saying, before I get all these hate comments, let me explain. There has been lately online and in kindergarten classrooms mention this anti-Santa backlash, saying the image of Santa defeats the spirit of Christmas and feeds into commercialism and blah blah blah. I say that is bullshit. Mostly because I freaking LOVE Santa. I love the idea of Santa, and I will be upset the day my kids don't believe probably more than they will.

Some parents say they don't like lying to their kids. PUH-LEEEZE! Welcome to parenthood! About 90 % of what you tell your kids is mostly lies. Okay, maybe not that much, but when your 4 year old asks you where babies come from, are you REALLY going to give them the dirty? I think not.

Some say it's about RELIGION. Seriously? The very first St. Nick was a Bishop in like, the 6th century or whatever. HE WAS A BISHOP! Who can argue with the religiousness of a Bishop?

And here's my point. Christmas is all about celebrating the birth of Jesus. Jesus, the original teller of all fairy tales...but we don't call them fairy tales because that may be sacrilegious. When Jesus is talking, we call them "parables", which are really just stories with a lesson. If you don't like the notion of calling them "fairy tales" you can call them what the Brother's Grimm did. Fables. Either way, they are stories that aren't true, but PREACH just the same. Consider the story of the Good Samaritan. He did good when no one else did. Or the mustard seed. Or the parable of the talents. Pick one. Jesus told STORIES so that his disciples could easily understand God's heart and intention. I ask you then, What better story to use to teach very young children about the joy of giving to others than Santa?

I even read one report that had the disclaimer that Santa just says that "if you're good you'll get a toy, or something materialistic". Isn't the point of being a Christian that if you are good, and do good for others and live in love you will also "get something", like, a ticket into heaven? That idea is waaaay too abstract for little kids. Give 'em something to understand. If you choose to go all overboard and buy into commercialism, that is your own problem, but you can teach kids the meaning of what the spirit of Christmas represents and still have Santa as you bff come Dec. 24th. It's okay. Seriously, didn't Jesus himself command to us to do something for another without that person knowing it was us? So that we aren't taking credit instead of listening to the message... Do for others.

Look, when I was a kid my parents ROCKED OUT the whole Santa thing. Boot prints in the snow. Windows opening and closing. Bells ringing. They went all out. And why not? Little kids are only little for such a short time and once you take away the fantasies of whatever it is they believe in, be it Cinderella or Santa Claus, they are one step closer to adulthood, and WHY throw them into the harsh realities of the real world before we have to? Why is it so demonized to let kids believe in magic? Why can't they have a wonderful, wonder filled world only for them for the brief time that it's okay to enjoy it?

As I said, my parents ROCKED it when it came to Santa. And guess what? I still believe in the "REAL" story of Christmas. It's still my favorite holiday (remember, I got married 9 days before Christmas). I'm still able to teach my kids what it means to be kind, generous, loving, appreciative, non-materialistic, family centered, and joyful. I also don't use just the Christmas season to do this. The spirit of giving and generosity and thinking of others happens 365 days around here, Santa notwithstanding.

Look, if you want to get all preachy on the birth of Christ and shit, consider the following points:
1.) The Bible doesn't even reveal Jesus' actual birthdate.

2.) Half the shit you're telling your kids about the "story", like the pageant is b.s. Nowhere is it found in the Bible that Mary rode on a donkey, or the whole story of the Inn, or even of Jesus laying in a manger. So, if you're going to condemn "Santa' and his spirit, I hope you get that crap right.

3.) If you're going to tell your kids Santa isn't real, I hope you don't have a "Christmas" tree in your home. It's well known that Christmas trees originated from Pagan beliefs. Look it up.

4.) Technically speaking, if you decide to call bullshit on Santa, you should also tell your kids that the December 25th date for the "birth of Christ" is also bullshit. In Pagan traditions, Dec. 25th refers to the birth of the sun God Mithros or something like that. Scholars and theologans believe Jesus was born sometime in the fall...septemberish thru novemberish...

5.) And if you really want to get all super technical, God does not command us to celebrate the birth of Christ in the bible. Rather, we are commanded to take communion "in rememberence of me". Soooo, we are to celebrate his death. Some hardcore Christians think it's even sacriligous to celebrate Christmas. Do a little research. I. Kid. You. Not.

The point is, it's not whether you teach your kids about Santa or the "True meaning of Christmas." Whatever the hell that is. It's about love, joy, kindness, and everything that THE LIFE OF JESUS represents.

And so, if Santa were to be made into a parable, I think Jesus would do it. Because the Santa story embodies everything Jesus himself embraced and taught about. Some people who've bought into the commercialism have just ruined that message for themselves, and others in the process. And just to hone in on the message, I work with little ones whose parent's can't afford to do the "commercialistic thing" and they rely on the Santas all of us have it in us to be.

But I still believe.

I believe in magic.

I believe in love.

And most whole-heartedly, I believe in Santa.

Give someone less fortunate than you something without them knowing it, and if you can, enjoy THEIR joy.

I'll bet you believe in Santa too.

Thankful, and Other ThinKs

2011-12-04T21:18:00.002-06:00

Apparently, the fact that I have been very involved with life (read: busy) is inconveniencing my sister and her reading pleasures. Not only has she verbally reprimanded me to get my butt in gear and get back to work on writing, she has posted at me on facebook, which is like a public lashing. So, for her sake I'm writing, although she may not like what I have to say. I have a lot on my mind right now. To use one of my new favorite words, I have a SHIT-TON going on. And there boys and girls, is your new usable phrase. SHIT-TON. It's like douche-canoe, only more descriptive, like an adjective for potty mouths (or those of us subjected day in and out to small children and who have to really rein in all too much in a typical 24 hour period).

I need to rewind a couple of weeks to Thanksgiving. When asked what you're "Thankful for" you're supposed to say the usual. "I'm thankful for my home." "I'm thankful for my family", "I'm thankful for my friends' and on and on and on. How very unimaginative of us all. Those are not things most people usually take for granted, and you look like a complete ASS if you happen to be thankful for something out of the ordinary and/or material. Whatever. If you have the ability to be in possession of something wonderful, like say, a new iphone, I think it's okay to be thankful for something so stupid.

So, after reading a kid's book to Nate at bedtime right before Thanksgiving, I realized that this year, I am thankful for the pilgrim's stupidity. Sure, they were brave. Whatever. They were Effing Morons if you read the story closely. Consider this: They left England to worship their own way or whatever that fairytale tells you. Fine. But the dumbass pilgrims left late summer and it took them 3 months to cross the ocean, so essentially they didn't reach the "new world" until the Winter. BAD PLANNING. They had nowhere to live, ran out of food, and did it even ever cross their minds that when they got to where they were going it was going to be pretty fricking cold and they were all diseased and living in cramped quarters breathing their smallpoxy breath on each other? More than half of them died that first winter. Duh! I get they needed to pray their own way, but they really should have prayed for a better plan and headed for My Country Tis of thee when it was a little warmer. I'm just saying.

No, I think this year I'm making a statement. I'm not thankful the pilgrims decided to build their own versions of a new mega church in the new world. I'm thankful for the Rockstar also known as Samoset and the other Masosoit Native Americans. I'm pretty damn sure that without them the entire pilgrim colony would have been wiped out. The NA's had to teach these people how to EAT for gods sakes. Here is the second part of the lack of planning that just baffles me. They got on a cork, floated across the ocean, half of them died, and then there was no forethought on what would happen once they got to where they were going. Farming in England is different than farming in New England. My only hope is that they were at least smart enough to lug enough alcohol across the pond so that when Samoset and his buddies showed up they at least had something to offer. Thanks William Bradford, but no thanks. Without the KINDNESS and GENEROSITY of the natives, the White Man wouldn't have even survived a few months, let alone long enough to decimate an entire race of ahem...'savages'.

Alright. Enough on that. I think it's a testament to my getting old that you start looking at history and realize the stories are written only by the winners. Sometimes rightfully so. I can't imagine world history and what it would look like if Hitler had been a success. But I'm tired of looking through the annals of history and spoonfeeding my kids some bullshit story about how Columbus discovered America (because he didn't) and made friends with "Indians" (because he didn't) and then how the Pilgrims chose to be brave and daring and create a free-er life in the new America. Because they didn't. Those early colonists did some pretty messed up stuff in the name of "Religious Freedom" (hello Puritans, and can anyone say Salem Witch Trials with me?).

So don't believe everything you see, or hear or read.

And be thankful for whatever the hell you want to be thankful for. And remember to be grateful you didn't have to put your happy ass on a boat in the winter and hope for the best.

And Thank God it's almost Christmas!

Channeling my Inner Erma

2011-10-19T22:11:00.003-05:00

Saturday last I went to this really sweet writing workshop in the big city. Super exciting info on how to write and get published in the children's book world, because I aspire to be a decent writer someday (so Um... momontherocks.com could you please just destroy that crap I sent you for review because I realize now how much it really sucked it and have reworked the entire thing).

I made connections, and by connections I mean I met other writers. Sometimes, it's just really, really good to get out of suburbia and meet other people who think like I do. Granted, I'm damn near positive I was in the minority at this Women's Voices Seminar, being all hetero and all, but whatever. Where I live there are no people of color, or very few, and I really can't think of anyone I know who doesn't drive a mini-van; shuffling from soccer to dance to scouts to wherever after school (insert your own sport) shopping at the local huge grocery chain for food not locally grown, and every home has a mommy and a daddy and a smattering of kids.

The neighborhood the workshop was in was one of the neatest in Chicago, with an independent bookstore and neighborhood shops selling works by artists, bakers, photographers, you name it, and people owned restaurants serving menus of organic, locally grown and vegetarian menus. No icky mall food chains. I have forgotten in my wrapped up world of white hetero Honda comfort that there are other more interesting people out there that I can learn from. Worth the hour in the car for sure, even navigating city streets.

However....however. I decided to go to the after conference to the 'after hours' coctail party. For a women's voices conference I met some interesting dudes, and that is all I will say about that. But I did learn that once you told people you are interested in writing a children's book, you get a look of discreditation. (I'm pretty sure I just made that word up)

Are you kidding me? Writing for kids doesn't mean I AM one...okay maybe I am a little but so frickin' what? And, one of the things we had to do was write a book on our nametag that may provoke discussion. I've read a shitload of books, so I just wrote the last one I read, "Ophelia". Great story that revamps Hamlet's "crazy" love. I recommend it if you think she got the raw end of the stick in a male dominated maybe Shakespeare was really a sham world. What's that, Elizabethan? Frick.

I seriously thought all these crazy chick lit Women's rights granolas would be really interested, but apparently it wasn't a witty/inteligent/thought provoking premise. Whatever. Maybe I'm not witty, or thought provoking...I wanted to tell all these posers (because I really HATE when people TRY to be smart and impress you. The smartest people I know never say jack or try to prove their own points. They just exist and occasionally toss out a comment that makes you say to yourself...oh DAMN! He/She's right. Shit!) So anyway, I wanted to tell these people that

1.) Just because I'm a mom of three and drive a minivan and I think the word Douche-Canoe is a keeper doesn't mean I'm not smart.
and
1a.) I also think "Shit-snacks" should be a phrase interjected into every conversation.
That doesn't make me less creative than anyone else.

So to sum up, what have we learned, dear readers in my blogosphere?
1.) I want to write a children's book.
2.) YOU want to say shitsnacks out loud at some point today and call your boss a douchecanoe.
3.) I like suburbia, but I like to get out once in a while.

ShitSNACKS!

Girls Are Just Stooopid, period.

2011-10-13T12:18:00.002-05:00

Wow! I really did say that! I really looked at my 8 year old precious boy and said, 'You know son, sometimes girls are just stupid.".
Me, who is all pro women's rights.
Me, who took multiple feminist lit classes in college.
Me, who would have burned my bra in a war protest had I been born at the right historical time.
Me, who is trying to raise my daughter to be strong, independent, carefree, secure in her own skin and not pressured to conform to what those dreaded "boys" think looked my son in the eyes and told him girls were stupid. It defies all logic.

To be fair, he is having some issues at school socially. He confided, finally, that some girls tease him, and say he's gross. So instead of explaining how that means they must have a "crush on you" and give him some other paltry rhetoric, I just came out with, "Girls are stupid".

So what lessons have I taught my son? When girls say something you disagree with, they are lower on the intelligence ladder of evolution. What lesson have I taught my daughter? Mommy just says things she doesn't mean? I'm all hot air and no action? Don't believe what I say?

Or, better yet, "Honey, just tell boys what they want to hear, and continue life as it were. Literally, they cannot function without us, but we must pretend to let them think that they can. We are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like us."

Or have I simply taught my children the definition of a hypocrite?

On Bios and Goodbyes

2011-09-24T13:22:00.002-05:00

I mentioned in the last post that I have joined a writers group. We meet once a month, and our first assignment, due in about 10 days is to write a bio about ourselves. Some people are going to do it the easy way, they've already stated. That includes basic stats. For me that would be: born: June 23, 1976, Hair Color: Brown, Eye Color: Green Height about 5'7", Weight: irrelevant.
Occupation: Wild animal wrangler, AKA Mother of 3.

I want to write my bio to be more personal though. I could write a dissertation on my feelings about Neopolitan ice cream and how on so many levels it's wrong, my distaste for the word "moist", and how I'm pretty sure Almond Joy and that other crappy Halloween candy, the coconut one are bred from Communistic ideas of what constitutes edible candy. I could say I'm a Developmental therapist and go on to explain what that is, but I'm standing firmly ground in the belief that WHO I am is not necessarily WHAT I do.

I'm a reader, a writer, a faith seeker, a do-gooder (sometimes), a family chef, and a lullaby singer. But that's just what I do. It doesn't really describe me or separate me from the pack of other mom's who work both in and out of the home. Thus, I am relatively stumped and have a little over a week to figure myself out.

On my journey of self-discovery this past week, I have decided that I am without a doubt a person who has a hard time with Goodbyes. That's long-term goodbyes. This has come to a head as I recently found out that Nate's Occupational Therapist has resigned from the clinic we both work at to follow another path. In fact, today is her last day, and at this very moment I am at the aforementioned clinic with him for his very last OT session with this modern day Annie Sullivan. We are here to say good-bye, and I am having more difficulty with this than ever I thought I would.

Last night I was describing this aching sense of loss I feel for this woman to another co-worker and also a dear, dear friend as she was on a long drive through Iowa. She started to console me by saying, "I know she's leaving but she has given you so many tools and strategies to get you through" at which point I totally cut her off. "Look, I'm sad on a personal level, as she's been my own miracle worker, but on a professional level I'm feeling a sense of HUGE loss. I have learned more about the sensory system from her than any course or book or handout out there. She has no idea what she has done for me".

And that is the crux of it, isn't it? So very rarely we have the prescience of mind to know when we are in the presence of a true jewel of a person, and so, when it comes time to let go and let them go, it becomes a bittersweet battle royale. I wish her the best in all she does, but like a tantrumming 2 year old I want to shout out, "DON'T GO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!". We've all had our good-byes that were necessary endings and we didn't think twice about, like forever leaving behind high school, or that crappy job you had at the dry cleaners for a few summers. But when we have to say goodbye to someone or something that is so inherently good for the soul, and who has held you, and taught you, and been an example of a standard you strive to achieve, well, those are the hardest of all.

Can I write all this in my bio due next week? I could, but it doesn't really describe me, just frames a few thoughts on how I feel. So I won't put it down on paper for my peer group to critically assess.

I will though, keep good thoughts and prayers sent out into the universe for my Annie Sullivan's continued career success. You have touched our lives in so many ways you will never know, and will continue to touch others with your gentle words and healing hands.

Good Luck Lynn. You will be missed.
Goodbye.

OhGawd....It's Time To Get Back to the Swing of It...

2011-09-17T20:12:00.002-05:00

It's been a while, I know. But in my defense I've been on an exciting journey of self discovery and spiritual growth and some other mumbo jumbo that has keept me to quote Lloyd Dobbler, "Monumentally Busy." Summer was a blur, an absolute flew by so fast I'm not sure it really happened blur, and I think I was the only person I knew who was sad when school started because we did everything and yet NOTHING all summer.
Things we did included:

+5 triathlons, one of which was in Omaha. Jack completed his first KID'S tri and I have never been more proud. It was AWESOME! I also did a tri fairly close to home called "She Bangs" because the sea weed infested lake that we swam in is called Bangs Lake

+Camping. Overnight. In tent in Wisconsin (I freaking LOVE Wisconsin. You all have no idea how much). In a rainstorm. Very long story short, we were camping in the middle of all those horrific rainstorms in July courtesy of my brilliant planning and impeccable timing. It rained so much the first night the roof of our tent made a bowl and water dripped in, until it really just poured in so at 3 a.m. up we went to the local Walmart and hung out until the storm passed. We spent the entirety of that day drying our crap by a campfire only to be rained out AGAIN for night 2. At 6 a.m. we called it quits, literally threw our crap in the car and got the hell out. The kids, to their credit were AWESOME and they want to go camping again. I say not until we get the Weathermaster Twenty Twelve Tent from Coleman.

+Working. Good lord I have been putting in craptacular hours. In case you didn't know, it's really a pain in the ass to start your own business. The logistics and the paperwork are really cumbersome. And then....Oh and then...every quarter I have to pay taxes. Damn but that hurts. Apparently when you are self employed you pay extra social security or some such nonsense. What the what?

+ The boys got to go to Great America. Twice. Once with Daddy, because they got free tix via a reading program at school, and once with their BFF's for their friends' B-days. Glorious.

+ VBS and Boy Scout Camp. Also known as "slight respite for a desperate mother".

+ Loads of pool time. Even Maddie was jumping off the high dive by mid July. That's 3 meters of awesomeness.

+ Baseball. Lots and Lots of baseball. And, as it turned out, Jack hit the game winning homer to win the overall championship. But I'm not going to brag about it or anything. The best part of the baseball season was the TEAM. I really bonded with the other coaches wife and the other moms. They were and awesome group of people to spend all those hours and hours and hours with. I'm not kidding. I loved it.

+Drive in movies....Kung Fu panda for Jack's birthday party (yes! 4 bucks a kid!) and even a double feature with Cars 2 and Mr. Popper's Penguins. Of course, by 11:15 they were all asleep....

What we didn't get to this summer:
+ Dammit, not ONCE did we make it downtown, and that is ALWAYS a goal of mine. Hello aquarium (which will cost an arm and a leg to go to)...didn't get there once.

+No museums either. Really? How does THAT happen?

+Zero instances at the farmer's market. Too busy. And that hurt.

+Zero sightings at anything resembling cultural growth. Although we did see Aladdin at the Marriott, maybe that counts?

So what are we doing now? I'm working my tail off. John got a promotion so he is now a Senior Manager at Accenture. I don't know what that means. All I know is that he's in the top 1% of his company and he does magic with math and computers. He's like Chandler Bing...nobody knows what he does....and I am a-okay with that.
The kids are in school full swing. Maddie is LOVING full day kinneygarten. Nate is, eh about first grade, and I have my fingers crossed that Jack has turned a corner. There is no arguing about school work. There are no fights when I say it's time to read... he just does it. I vaguely wonder if I have a little Alfred Hitchcock angel on my shoulder.
Me? I've been writing like a fiend. Maybe someday I will be published, but for now I've joined a writers group and am persuing the craft with some good friends, spending a morning here and there at a local coffee shop talking about writing. I love it.
I'm also following in my dad's footsteps and seeking wisdom, knowledge and guidance wherever I can.

I subscribe to Podcasts from Willow Creek ( you all know the Mega church, and no it is not a cult). My favorite speaker as of late is Dr. Henry Cloud. He gave an amazing talk (he's a psychologist) about "Necessary Endings", also the convenient title of his latest book. Google him, he's super cool. And, on the subject of Willow the mega not a cult church, my good friend who is a member there invited me to hear Temple Grandin speak! I. am. SO. Excited. If you don't know who she is, then you're not in my biz, but google her too. So inspiring. And I'm gonna try and get continuing ed credits from that one for sure!

So that's us in a nutshell. I promise to get better about my writing. It's good for me. Oh! I forgot to mention that my new latest hobby that has been sucking the life out of me is taking my local school board to task and sending them scathing emails, FOIAing Board Documents, and defending my local teacher's and the kids who are affected by the BoE's crappy policies. I could go on about it forever, but not tonight.

Tonight I end with thoughts of how my 3 fantasy football teams will do tomorrow, and with a small smile of knowing that Jackster gets his 3rd grade Bible in the morning.

Life is good, but damn it goes by fast.

Evidence of a Storm

2011-07-14T18:44:00.005-05:00

How beautiful is this? On our way to the double feature drive-in of the terribly appointed Cars 2 and the awful-didn't-follow-the-book-at-all-in-yet-another-attempt-to-ruin-literature-for-children Mr. Popper's Penguins, I snapped some photos. This is driving over the river. Less than 2 mi. from my home.

So beautiful. Even out the carwindow. Even more lovely since you can't smell it.

Aaaaand here we are. This is at the gas station we had to go to in order to get cash from the ATM. Power outages in mass quantities mean no credit card machines work, you have to actually drive further than usual to get gas because the pumps run on electricity, and your library fines just might be absolved if you're lucky.

Fence down!

Trees were looking like someone just twisted the top of them off, like unscrewing a mason jar.

Closer to home, this is what I saw when picking up Maddie's BFF for a playdate. This is about 1 mi. from my home. The people who live near this debacle just got power back today. They went 4 days without it people....and they are on wells. That means no toilet flushing. No running water. Nothing.

This is the root system of aforementioned tree. There were two such deformities in one yard.

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one hears it....well, I'm sure these people heard it.

The other one.

And while those are some of the biggest I saw, the damage is everywhere. Here are some from my block. My entire neighborhood lost trees just like this.

From further away. I really wish this was the exception, but in fact, it was the rule.

Haven't yet heard if anyone's been hurt, so that is good. While this is bad and losing power sucks, it totally coulda been worse.

Don't Know Whacha Got....Til It's Goooone

2011-07-13T08:44:00.002-05:00

Remember that old song, from the 80's or whatever? Who sang it, Skid Row? Some other frizzy hair band? I think they were singing about love, but really, when it comes to "HAVING" and then "HAVING NOT" you could really be singing about anything, right?

In our case, this was demonstrated fervently by the push of some pretty serious storms that pushed through our area on Monday morning. In Hindsight, we probably should have brought the kids to the basement. My good friend Jenny reported swirly cue patterns in her grass. That is super Awesome. Anyway, the storm hit, and luckily I was running late to head to work (as usual). So I waited it out, and am glad I did. Not only did we lose power but over 500 THOUSAND people in the Chicagoland area did as well. Driving in to work I noticed down powerlines, trees, branches that had fallen on powerlines...you name it. It was scary. Super scary in fact.

We have power now, but lost it for about 30 hours with the rest of the hood. Some of our good friends and people in our town are projected to get theirs back, maaaaybe by Friday. That's 5 days, no power. And let me tell you, Monday night was HOT. I am not a fan of airconditioning, but we always have our fans on to move the air. And 90 degree air plus humidity that just sits on your skin with no breeze plus your father's borrowed generator making noise outside your window makes for an uneasy nights sleep.

You don't ever really notice how quiet a house is, even full of people when there is no power. No refrigerator hum. No tick tock of the nightstand clock. No gentle whirrrrr of an overhead fan. No distant buzzing of the closet lights on in the kids' rooms. No neighbor's air conditioners kicking on and off. It is silent and still, and though oddly beautiful, still unnerving.

We are taking the kids tent camping sans electricity for 3 days soon, and after this, I'm sure the novelty has worn out. Although they are excited to sleep in tents, their little bodies crave that electronic stimulation and I'm torn between being horrified that they (and I) are so reliant on devices and rejoicing that they are back on and the kids are drooling in front of Bugs Bunny and leaving me alone. What will happen in a tent with nothing?

Still, we are the lucky ones. We didn't lose any food. We didn't experience any major catastrophies, even though everytime the power goes the kids like to run around yelling that "We're all Gonna DIE!". Somehow we survive. Imagine that. And the kids even got a little bit of a technological detox.

I can find the silver lining anywhere.

The First Tri...Sigh...

2011-06-17T07:15:00.002-05:00

The craziness of life is such that it has taken me a week to get this posted. Crazy.

Sunday the 12th was the first Tri of the season, a delightful affair with about 2000 women. I was reminded why I love doing these, when in an act of camaraderie a few girls in my wave and I were chit chatting about the looney tooney Iron Man people who just go to the bathroom while on the course. It's a lovely visual, isn't it? Some dude, riding his bike for a hundred miles whipping *it* out and just peeing as he goes. Or worse. My new lady friends and I decided that we enjoyed the sprint distances and lack of urinating men just fine thankyouverymuch.

The swim was tough. Tougher than usual, because it hurt a bit. My time wasn't the greatest as I did better last year. My physical therapist put it in perspective when she said that a.) she hasn't let me train really and b.)I'm working with an injury. This point was hammered home Monday thru Weds when I had radiating pain in my wrist and had ZERO hand strength. I couldn't even hold a pencil, that's how bad this gets. So I will forgive myself for the swim.

My transitions bit the bomb though. I am full of excuses on this blog today, so I'm going to chalk it up to being in a really sucky position for the swim in and bike in/out.

The run went okay. My time was a bit less last year, but they changed the course this year and I am thinking it was not a full 5k last year. I've never run a 5k that fast, even just in a road race without biking and swimming. Either that or the caffeine pills I took last year had more of an effect than I gave them credit for.

The irony is, I felt so good after this race. I mean, super good. I wound up doing the hour long drive home, hit two ball games and a birthday party and was okay. Tired, but okay. Monday it was tough rolling out of bed for work, but that doesn't separate me from anyone else doing the race. Well, maybe I can be separated from those who have desk jobs since I am literally rolling on the floor with a bunch of 2 year olds for 8 hours of the day. Good stuff though.

I'm ready to do more. Now I just have to find the time to sign up!

I Stand Corrected

2011-06-05T17:29:00.002-05:00

I stand corrected...and humbled... and quite honestly, floored.

Yesterday we were at the pool. Jack jumped off the diving board, did something goofy, surfaced, and proceeded to tell me that he had just "hurt his BALL SACK". I was standing next to our next door neighbor in the water and he wished Jack's ballsack well, at which point I told our neighbor we did not need to encourage that.

Ballsack.

I guess I'm glad he didn't say NUTSACK.

But does it matter?

Bad Words

2011-06-03T07:35:00.002-05:00

I'm going out on an exaggerative limb here and I'm going to say right out that the best day of Jack's 7 year old life came about four months ago when I allowed him to start swearing. You have never seen a kid so excited to express his frustration in the video gaming world when I approved the questionable yet harmless "crud" and allowed him to add it to his verbal repetoire.

For some reason, (and I'm sure it's some kind of normal development thing) Jack is obsessed with being able to say "bad words". On a cognitive level, I realize he thinks it's a very grown up thing to do. On an emotional level, it's something akin to watching the years roll by...just adding one more step in the growing up process. It's a blessing that he thinks "crud" is a really bad one that in this house at least, you're NOT allowed to say until you are 7 ANDAHALF. That ANDAHALF (all one word) are very important, as they establish that Jack is in fact, more grown up and older and more important than his younger, less sophisticated sibling counterparts. I think he has a countdown going to his 10th birthday; the golden age of being allowed to say, "crap".

His innocence is really sweet, but on a whole other level, and something I fight myself on, he does seem a little socially immature. Two days ago we were at soccer tryouts (another blog story for another blog day). Jack's age group was on the field. The next age group up, third graders were next to me on the grassy knoll practicing. Calling each to other, 'Hey, Nutsack" like I call my girlies, "Hey Girl". Wait a minute! Is this how kids talk when adults pretend not to listen? And what do I say when my kid calls another kid a 'nutsack'? Is that a normal boy-in-sports-phenomenon? I don't even think Jack knows what a 'nutsack' is. He questioned his anatomy once and I gave him the correct medical term. Maybe he does and acts smarter than that for my benefit. Who knows.

Last week we had a super interesting conversation based on some slide at the park graffiti. "Mom" he said, all serious and not afraid I would be mad, "Mom, Is GAY a bad word?"
REally? Just put the loaded gun in my hand now.
"Well, son, it depends on how it's being used. Where did you see it?"
His response of course, was on the playground, while he and his buddy Tyler were playing while their daddies/baseball coaches were chatting.
"On the slide it said, 'JUSTIN BIEBER IS GAY'"

So I launched into an entirely lost on 7 year old brain diatribe on how calling someone GAY is mean because people do it to try and hurt someone's feelings, navigating the minefield of what being GAY means because I am NOT ready for "THE TALK" yet on any level. I mean, how doyou do sex ed with a kid who doesn't even know what a NUTSACK is?

Someday in the very near future we will have a chat on what it means to be gay, especially since on the news the big thing around here is that Illinois FINALLY approved the legality of civil union ceremonies and both the mayor of Chicago and the Governor of IL attended a few held in Millenium Park yesterday. I will get to explain to my child that being GAY does not equate being bad, being a sinner, being wrong, or the next thing on the list to Jeffrey Dahmer. It's like saying you have brown eyes. And to me, saying someone is GAY just to be mean and hurtful is waaaaay worse than calling your buddy a nutsack. Aside from the literal dictionary defintion, GAY is very much NOT a funny derrogative.

Love and be loved. Accept and be accepted. Take care of and be taken care of.

Thanks to www.momontherocks.com your song of the week is
One Tribe
By: the Black Eyed Peas.

The Most Magical Place on Earth

2011-05-24T22:01:00.007-05:00

No, it's not some Indian Ashram where you can feel enlightened. It's Disney World. And I LOVE it!

We surprised the kids last Friday morning with music from Peter Pan BLARING over the surround speakers. Yes kids, you can fly! Here are your packed suitcases. And they were only a little crabby we woke them up.

I took 560 pictures. The following are just some highlights. I have a few hundred more on Nate's very own camera and Maddie used my small one too. Needless to say, there are lots of nostril shots, but I did get one of me and the Mayor of Disney. The coolness factor was way high.

So, this is pretty much how these kids roll. In case you didn't know. Literally singin' in the rain.

I could be this Belle. What do you think she gets paid?

Now Opa...back away....let go and back away slooooowly.

After a day at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and a pink weave, daddy spoiled her with some sweet earrings.

This is her beauty treatment. She secretly loved it. Sabina from Argentina did her hair and Maddie with blonde hair took her pictures. It was meant to be.

Okay, so this Ariel wasn't the best looking, but I liked her. Seh and Maddie did theri 'crazy eyes' thing together. Very cute.

Sure, some people do amazing chalk drawings. In Epcot we sit in broken tires.

Here's the crew. It was nice my mom and dad were there...even if they ditched us for their luaus and hoopdie doos and what not...like they were the little kids...

Definitely one of the trip highlights. My dad got pulled out of a crowd to play this instrument. And then he got fired and demoted to maraccas. Funniest thing ever.

"And there I was...just walking along...mindin' my own damn business and I get pulled out of the crowd for this crap." Thanks dad....I'm glad you got picked. I hope you had fun doing it too. Even if you got fired.

For the boys, part of the fun of the trip was taking Oma on rides and making her have heart attacks. Like scary rides and water rides. Oma was a gamer and even suffered getting literally soaked. She and John got the worst of it...even in 90 degree weather their underwear was wet ALL DAY. It was almost funnier than Opa's stint in the band.

We saw LOTS of characters. But I refused to wait in line for an hour and a half for stupid repunzel. Even if Maddie and her dress and weave were a cute RIPENCIL.

Anyone know what this is? It was right outside our room in the river. I kept calling it a sealion, but I think it may be a muskrat.

So, of all the princesses, I find Snow White to be in the top 3 annoying. She wanders into a house that's filthy and the midget residents have names like "Dopey" and "Sleepy"? Aside from the stereotypical male references regarding such, what obligated her to clean that mess? Because she thought cute little children lived there? Girl, please. You're a princess. Hire a maid. And don't be so stupid as to eat a nasty apple from an ugly old lady. Stupid. You give teenage girls a bad rap.

Another park, another classic pose.

I've got my eye on you Mike Wazowski.....

Honey I shrunk the kids. And tried to leave them there. But they found me. And followed me home.

It used to be the 588-2300 Empire today guy. Now Opa's squaring off with a cartoon handyman.

It's cool to get your picture with Walt's frozen head.

Ahhh if it were that easy.

Who doesn't love Woody and Buzz?

My 4 favorite people on the tea cups. I will not go on them. Ever. But I will take photos.

Again....if only it were this easy....

So that's a brief sampling of the almost 600 photos. I love Disney world in all of it's King of American Gluttony implications. There is a certain amount of guilt, but John is like a little kid there creating memories. I love the time spent with the kids. The bonding...the memories. Mr. Walt was a genius. Absotively posolutely.

With This Ring...

2011-05-03T07:20:00.002-05:00

Somehow, my beautiful symbol of John's eternal and undying love, my engagement ring broke after almost 12 years of intermittent wear and tear. The setting for one of my side diamonds just snapped off from the rest of it's pretty little diamondy world, and I didn't even realize it until we were driving home from my sister's house on Easter. Because I only wear my ring on a sometimes basis, I have no idea how long it's been broken for.

I know that the statement, "Wearing it sometimes" bothers some. I have good valid reasons though.

Reason one: I wore it once after Jack was born, changed a dirty diaper and scratched the bajeebies out of his little hiney. To avoid a call in to DCFS, I just took it off, unless I was wearing nice clothes and sans children for a while.

Reason two: I NEVER wear my rings to work. I work with small children, some of whom are very "active', or their special needs require me to do a lot of holding and positioning. Back to reason 1: instead of having an agency called on me and DCFS show up at my door, I decided to keep my job by not causing bloody gouges on some poor babies' face. Or butt for that matter.

So now my ring is broken, and what to do? I took it to a local jeweler where I've had it cleaned and polished before. They do a GREAT trustworthy job.

The saleslady looks at my ring and points out that yes, the ring can be soldered into a working wearable piece of jewelry....but...well, you KNOW it's just a band aid solution, right? Apparently, the only way to really fix the problem is to reset the whole damn thing.

As the soldering band aid can last a week, or years (but not likely according to this fine jewels pusher) I really should try to re size it. And, Oh Look! Here's our book of bands, we could find the exact same one...and it will cost OVER A GRAND to reset it.

At this point I had to ask what resetting entailed. I am not a jewelry person. I don't really accessorize, as there's really not much by way of accessories that will "fix" my flaws. Sparklies ain't makin' it better you guys.

I became educated on the idea of a complete reset button on the ring. Apparently, it's like a whole new ring, and they take my old broken down 12 year old band and melt down the gold for a credit or some such ridiculousness. Well...if that's the only way to fix it, then maybe next time I have a few spare grand lying around I'll consider the option....but the guilt creeps in.

The saleslady finishes her reset pitch and looks at me...a bit deviant for my liking and says, "Well, you know, you could ALWAYS get a NEW setting." I countered with the fact that I like my ring. It was a gift. I'm not a big fan of re gifting, unless it's a really horrible gift, like purple sweatpants, or teddy bear t-shirts.

I sear, she looks at me, and says, "Well, honey...we don't' keep our cars or hairstyles forever! We change those up!" Now I'm getting a wee bit frustrated, because my husband, has in fact, had his hairstyle forever. We're longtermers, her and I, so I say to the lady, "Well, I DO plan on keeping my husband forever. This was the ring he chose for me and it was blessed by the pastor when we got married! I would feel so guilty."

The Resetting Pimp looks at me very, mmm, I don't know, sympathetically I suppose is the right word. Like I just said I have cancer or something, and she says, "Oooh, you're one of those sentimental ones. How cute!"

Cute. She said that because I value a heartfelt gift that was blessed in a church in front of God and everyone that I am cute. This bothers me on so many levels, not the least of which I have never been referred to as "cute" for any reason ever at all. And now I'm being patronized for my sentimentality?

So I wonder, does anyone else feel this way? Does the ring, which is just a symbol, I know, but does the ring being blessed in a sacramental ceremony not mean anything anymore? Or did it ever?

Now, if my husband wanted to buy me an anniversary band to add on to the already existing fine jewelry I own I wouldn't oppose, but that ring, that man, this life we have created...well, we're lifers. In it for the Looooooong haul.

To quote a great friend, "That's just how we roll"....

Chuckie's Bride Lives With My Sister, so Watch Out!

2011-04-28T17:22:00.003-05:00

My sister starts out a conversation during opening her daughter's birthday gifts with something along the lines of how sweet and cuddly her neighbor is. Who also happens to be older and missing a few fries from the order. Whatever. Then she goes on to say things like how nice this lady is, she just "shows up" and gives her kids her old stuff from her closet. Toys and games and whatnot. And then she says, "And look what she gave Brooke...just because!" Showing us this: After my initial shock and revulsion and multiple expletives, and gasps of "What the HELL? What in the hell is that thing?" I was informed it was some Madame Alexander doll. Uh, not to me baby. That is pure Bride of Chuckie material.

I don't know about you all, but I am NOT a doll fan. I used to pull Barbie's heads off because, well it was Barbie. And her head just came off soooo easily. After seeing this real Shirley Temple Doll now I know why I ripped their heads off...so they couldn't see to attack me and eat my face off while I was sleeping. My brother in law wants to get rid of the doll. I can't say I blame him, because it looks cursed. But my sister thinks it's worth a lot of money. So I say sell it, get rid of it. That is the stuff of nightmares.

You can almost hear it intoning..."Animal crackers in my soup...monkeys and rabbits loop the loop...don't fall asleep with me near, I just might nibble off your ear!"

This Is How We Do the Egg Thang

2011-04-27T06:57:00.002-05:00

On the day before Easter (for those of you with memory issues, it would have been Saturday), We had an egg hunt (our 3rd of the season), a baseball parade, a baseball game, and then the neighbors came over for what I call a White Trash Pizza Party. Thats where you bring your own frozen pizza and we all share it after it's cooked up and ready to go. Incidentally, they stayed until well past 11 p.m., because we were playing some dice game, betting quarters, and after I had a few glasses of wine I started telling completely irrelevant stories. Mostly about nothing. Does anyone else do that after having a few? You just start telling stories with no point and that don't make a whole lot of sense? I seriously can't be the only one.

I wanted a picture of the kids all together. This folks, is maybe as good as it gets. This is after John yelled at Nate to "Look Up!"

"But my Ear is itchy!"

Let's try one more time....

Finding eggs tossed on the grass at various intervals is apparently serious work.

She was happy about this egg hunt. There was a lot of chocolate involved.

Here we are dying eggs. Maddie has decided that anytime her picture gets taken she wants it done in her 'crazy eyes' pose.

This is pretty typical for this kid.

As is this. Never mind the magic wand you get in the dye box.

Happy Easter, Love, Crazy Eyes.

The Science Fair

2011-04-26T12:08:00.002-05:00

Let's be honest and say my parents are gamers. They came over a couple weeks ago and helped Nate with his science fair project, appropriately titled, "Do You Taste With Your Eyes". Nate is pretty much the boy version of Amelia Bedelia and wanted to let everyone know that NO you do not. However, the point of his science experiment was to find out if just because food looks different, does it taste different.

And so, we had a declicious meal of blue turkey burgers. This is the final "plated" meal. I thought the presentation was class A. Yes, we did make green and red french fries.

The second part of the experiment involved putting coffee, sugar water, salt water and vinegar on various parts of your tongue to see where the taste was the strongest. This was a blast. Opa refused to participate, but seeing as Oma puts vinegar of her nasty vegetables (like spinach and brussels sprouts ick) she didn't mind this part at all.

Mmmm...red food dye. How bad is this stuff for you?

Here's Nate, mixing it up.

Jack also did an experiment on electromagnets. First he made some battery powered thing that was supposed to spin. It didn't work. Then he made telegraphs. It didn't work. Then he made a magnet using a battery, a nail, and some wire. That DID work and it was a great segue to talking about how sometimes, even when we work super duper hard on something it doesn't always work out. And that was okay. We made that part of our display and results board.

Oma keeps saying that coming over for the taste test was fun. Based on that first photo, I'd say that my parent's definition of fun has been warped since they became empty nesters. Next thing I know they'll be sitting there making spoon jewelry and macrame plant holders.......

Do YOU Feel Safe in Your Home? It's a Loaded Question

2011-04-04T10:54:00.002-05:00

I am, finally, inexorably down for the count. The kids were sick, I felt icky last week, finally went to the doc, got a diagnosis and some antibiotics and then proceeded to get worse. So this morning I called off my little baby patients, because it seemed to be the ethical thing to do, and drove my sorry butt to urgent care after I took the kids to school. I still have mom duties, you know. So, at urgent care, they start going through the questions. The first one being, "Do you feel safe at home?" I looked the nurse guy square in the eye and said, "Um, well, I'm a mom of 3 kids, two of whom are boys. Define safe". He then says, "Well, it's a state question, and we have to ask it in cases of domestic violence." Well, then, "Oh, well, they like to shoot me with their Nerf Dart Guns. I really don't think those are safe". And as serious as a heart attack, the nurse looks at me and he says, 'i'm just putting it that YES you are safe in your own home." And he laughed, so I guess in all my nastiness of sickdom I haven't lost the ability to keep the mood light. In my temporarily bronchially fogged mind, I sort of wondered what exactly would happen if I had seriously answered with a "No". Hm. The Doc came in, looked at my throat which is red and raw and nasty from coughing and ordered a chest x-ray. It looks pretty bad, but it's "just" bronchitis, so she doubled my dose of drugs-which I cannot take until I get the kids from school for fear of driving under the influence and suggested a salt water gargle. My palette is literally an open wound. I am not keen on throwing salt on an open wound, so have taken to swallowing tablespoons of honey and sucking on Riccola's like they are going out of style. It helps though. I keep thinking the upside of all this is that since I have no appetite unless I'm drinking hot liquids and sucking cough drops, maybe I'll drop these last 5 dastardly lbs, that I've been trying to get rid of. The downside is that since I can't really breathe, exercise, or at least cardio isn't an option, so i'm really just losing muscle tone pounds and will just be thinner and jiggley-er. Being sick requires one to think on things that are abstractly odd. I mean, is it just me, or is anyone else freaked out by those little iphone symbol thingies popping up on tv and in magazines? Hello? 1984??? Did anyone read it? Because I'm pretty sure that's a good way for "Big Brother" to keep his proverbial eye on us. I've seen those creepy Morgan Freeman movies. I know. I know. Also, WHY WHY WHY is daytime tv so awful? I'm into a really good book. I'm working really hard on my artistic recovery, but sometimes I need a brain break. Except, the only thing on is the View and it makes my brain take not just a break, but a complete all inclusive vacation so that I am mush, as are my opinions and original thoughts. Sherry Shepherd should really stick to her "Queen of Jordan" Schtick. At least on 30 Rock she's funny. I must run and get my little peeps now. Then I get to medicate. Maybe if I have some drug induced perceptual breakthroughs I will blog more later, although they may sound like the ramblings of a mad woman. And in my defense, I'm not that far off without the meds.

Be Thou My Vision?

2011-03-29T16:52:00.005-05:00

"To Come to be you must have vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, a Principle. You will become what your vision is." Peter Zarlenga As I have written repeatedly, I have a vague notion that my yoga instructor is more like my very own personal unpaid therapist. Her words are just a balm for my soul. And I am learning so much about myself. Also, my super fabulous yoga instructor has become a friend because I picked her up Omaha style. Oh yeah...I just went right up to her and hooked myself up. Julz and Leslie are such an inspiration that way, and they have such fabulously awesome friends, so I figured I would try it out too. I digress. Anyway, super fabulous Yoga instructor Jean has put me into a creative recovery program. Oh yeah, you read that right. I just happened to mention my skills as a writer and how they have pretty much gone down the toilet since marriage and children took over my life and she recommended this whole book/program that I have been following faithfully. This week puts me into a "reading deprivation" and it is killing me! I bang through a book a week! I am not reading things on facebook, emails (well, if they're relative to the kids and other's needs I have to), but I am putting down the newspaper, and NO BOOKS. OUCH! So, instead of reading right now, I'm taking a huge risk and telling you all about my recovery. And writing. Writing. Writing. Back to Jean. Friday Night Ladie's Night Out Yoga may very well be one of my very favorite things to do ever. I mean, ever. And I love to do a lot of things. One of the things from the book and the recovery program I am in says to create a vision board that can be a visual autobiography of your past, present, and futrure, depicting your hearts desires. You just rip pictures and sayings out of magazines that happen to grab your attention, and the idea is, is that eventually, if you keep at it, your heart's desires (if they aren't fully selfish) become your reality. So, following, here are some of my visions and hearts desires. Yea, I LOVE this photo. Mostly because it's how I feel pretty much most or all of the time. This is the whole vision board as it stands now. It made my soul happy to continue working on it Saturday afternoon. Maddie made one too, but her visions and hearts desires included cupcakes and baby kittens and giraffes. It was very cute.

Here is a saying, ripped from a running magazine of all things.

Metaphorically, this is a powerful picture for me. I didn't start running until a few years ago, and now I can't go a week without at least one day of running for an hour or so. The other days I use for 'training' runs, but my long runs clear my head, and it is then when I am most at peace because there is such a sense of clarity and purpose. I'm not fast. I'm not even a good runner. But my heart and my head thank me during and after the run.

This is a photo of kids in Ireland. Rolling down a hill. They looked so free. I loved that.

Here is a cabana in some beautiful tropical place. Apparently most of my hearts desires involve traveling to exotic places.

I just adore the word "Moxie". It makes me think of my daughter. Note the swimmers and the bikers in the background.

I have begun to notice a pattern with my visions. They involve a lot of water (spend time analyzing that you Freudians! Is it the fluidity of change I crave? The beauty of the ocean? The never seeing even one single inch of the ocean the same ever?) My hearts desires also depicted a lot of couple time too. Sans kids. Hmmmm.

It was a great activity. I highly recommend you do it. Don't think it over. Don't plan it out. Just grab a stack of magazines and start ripping and gluing and taping them to a poster board. You will learn a bit about what your heart desires. I promise that.

Down with the Sickness

2011-03-25T13:58:00.003-05:00

Things couldn't be better here. John decided to NOT see a doctor for three weeks with some bronchial cough nonsense going on, and so, finally he goes and he has some antibiotics that are so powerful that both the doc AND the pharmacist warned him to get hisself some yogurt.

Jack has strep.

Nate has bronchitis and needs to be nebulized.

Maddie has an ear infection.

I get to take care of everyone and scrub down the house.

Just for review: That's 4 sick people.
5 different medications.
4 doctors appointments in one week (I got Jack and Maddie in at the same time today)
And a partridge in a pear tree.

Fasting and Feasting

2011-03-16T19:57:00.004-05:00

I was reminded on Sunday that we are now in the Lenten Season. I learned Sunday that Lent really is some old word which really means, "spring". How nice. Be Gone Snow...Tis Lenten!

Some people and religions 'give something up' for lent. Formally, that notion is very odd to me. I'm not very indulgent to begin with, for one thing. I don't drink soda, I'm pretty restrictive on my alcohol consumption (one weekend night, unless it's a special occasion) and I don't regularly imbibe in sweets. Not to mention, my particular branch of faith doesn't really ask me to give up cookies and chocolate. It almost is like Lent is your last big push to renew your New Year's Resolution. "This year I will lose ten pounds when I give up BEER for Lent!" Can't help but think we are missing the point a bit.

I really do understand the need for sacrifice, especially as a metaphoric initiative. And so, there are several things I would like to fast on that I will share with you. I didn't write this, I don't know who did, but I liked it so much I thought I'd share.

"Whether fasting as individuals or with others, it is important that we not do it for "show". So during this Lenten season, move beyond chocolate to declare our own fast:

Fast from judgment, Feast on compassion

Fast from worry, Feast on divine order

Fast from criticism, Feast on appreciation

Fast from sin, Feast on holiness of heart

Fast from gossip, Feast on praise

Fast from anxiety, Feast on patience

Fast from hatred, Feast on love

Fast from evil, Feast on kindness

Fast from apathy, Feast on engagement

Fast from pessimism, Feast on optimism.

Fast from greed, Feast on sharing

Fast from scarcity, Feast on abundance

Fast from fear, Feast on peace

Fast from lies, Feast on truth

Fast from discontent, Feast on gratitude

Fast from noise, Feast on silence

Fast from discouragement, Feast on hope

Fast from thoughts of illness, Feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from hostility, Feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness, Feast on forgiveness.

Fast from unrelenting pressures, Feast on unceasing prayer."

What can you live without? What do you need? What are you fasting and feasting on right now? The power of intentional living is so inviting, isn't it?

Life Really Is Delicious

2011-03-15T20:15:00.003-05:00

Saturday, I had the pleasure of being invited along with some of my lady friends from church to an event sponsored by the Rockford Women's Club. The event was titled, "Life is Delicious", and featured keynote speaker Sarah Copeland.

Sarah just happens to be the sister of one of my close friends from my church group. She has done amazing things with her life. And I mean "AhMayZing". I was so in awe of the command she could take of the room and she reeled me in like a fish on a hook with the story of her life, and her relationship with food.

What I found so profound was not all the opportunities she has had in her life, but really, rather, the risks she took to grab a hold of those opportunities and go all out to achieve her dream. She realized pretty much every dream she had, because she had the faith to take the leap, believe in herself, and just do it. As she so poignantly pointed out, she would question, "Who am I to do this?" With the rhetorically answered, "Who am I NOT to?"

Of course, I had a few questions for the q&a part of the address, but I held back. Apparently, while rapt with attention at what she was saying, I didn't quite absorb it fully. I mean, Who was I to have all these questions for her? And then later, as I wrote them all down in my notebook, Who am I NOT to ask these questions? Someday, I'd love a sit down, honest to goodness, heart to heart, 'interview" of sorts. Someday. Right now she's writing her very first cookbook, out in 2012 and as such, I'm pretty sure she's pretty busy.

But, as of late I've become a believer in serendipity. She was brought to my attention at this point in my life for a reason. I am not yet sure why. Maybe simply to inspire me to do things that I have been dreaming of doing. Maybe to soothe my soul with the balm of her encouragement. Who knows. I do know that her words have had a lasting impression on my ability to move forward on a few projects I've been cooking on the back burner at a very low simmer for years. Maybe now it's time.

Check out her blog. Be inspired.

www.edibleliving.com

Five Fun Friday Facts

2011-03-11T12:04:00.004-06:00

...about things that have been happening around here. Really, just some funny stories.

1.) Jack informed us at dinner the other night that poison dart frogs spit their babies out their mouths. He knows this is the absolute truth because he read it somewhere. He also saw in a movie called "Milo and Otis" that cats poop their babies out their butts. Either we are very urbanized here, or Disney needs to do a better job depicting the human life cycle.

2.) Nate made a racist comment/gesture last night after dinner. I was befuddled. I was horrified. Where did he hear this? School. Of course. Now, before you all get all "you should homeschool" on me, I used this as an opportunity to teach him right vs. wrong. Those are hurtful things to say, and we just don't say them. Or think them. EVER. I had to be careful not to be punitive because he didn't know he was doing anything wrong, but this was a toughie. And I told him that just because so and so at school did it didn't make it okay, and he should really tell the teacher. Repeating the behaviour is NOT an option.

3.) I made a new recipe straight from this month's Clean Eating magazine and got ingredients for 2 more culinary experiments. So far my kids think they are being poisoned by healthy food, but I can only handle the same old same old so many times. My goal is to try and introduce one new meal a week. This week I am making up for lost time. If you follow this link you will see a photo of the mag cover and that is essentially what I made for dinner. Only I did it dairy free, which may slightly alter the flavor, but it wasn't too bad. John liked it, and he is really my biggest critic. He will be honest. I don't trust those kids in the least, mostly because if it isn't peanut butter and jelly, or if the food doesn't end in -ocolate they protest.

www.cleaneatingmag.com/The-Magazine/Current-Issue.aspx

4.) This morning I caught Nathan hiding under his comforter playing his DS. I draw the line at 6 a.m. when I can hear the stupid Mario Karting in my room and it wakes me up. This kid has a very serious addiction to screen time and I absolutely LOVE having to go all Commie Mommy on him and cut him off. I have rules. I have parameters. Apparently I speak in a language my children do not understand because my rules were made to be broken...or so they think. They ds has been confiscated for the duration of the weekend. I'm pretty sure the kid is borderline having tremors right now....

5.) I got my official USAT member sticker. I think it would look pretty hot on my mom minivan. My dad thought he was funny and told me to stick it next to my 'soccer mom' sticker. I don't have a soccer mom sticker, but he thinks it's funny that I drive a minivan and take my kids to soccer. I suppose I would cry if I wasn't laughing.....

And an AMEN! to That!

2011-03-08T15:27:00.004-06:00

Some say Amen ends prayers. I say AMEN! as an final salute to the end of the basketball season. We have been going strong EVERY weekend since December, sometimes both Saturdays and Sundays were locked up, because of course one boy would play at 9 in the morning and the other would play at something like 3, or 4. Good times. The upsides are that their dad was their super awesomest coach and that all their friends were in bball too, so it was a fun social gathering for me.

Saturday was their final all star jam games. So well run, so cute, really, a good time. Every kid got a trophy, and why do it if not for the trophy? It's sort of like me doing my races, it's all about the accessories and the goody bag.

So here we are getting ready to go. Can we ever NOT be touching, punching, hitting, choking, or poking each other? I think not. Nate receives his trophy.

Look. There is NO ONE around him. Check out that dribbling action. He's a natural.

At half time, the kids could pay a dollar and try for a half court free throw. Well, the really little ones weren't really at half court. Nate missed. Jack made the shot and won $10, which he promptly spent on crap at the candy concession stand. The kid is like my father. If he has money in his pocket it burns a hole in it until spent. I didn't care. Wasn't my money, and he won it, so no big deal.

Hands up guarding. Nate wasn't letting anyone past him. Really.

"Anything you can do I can do better...." This is Mads at the free throw line, which was about 2 inches in front of the 6ft basket. She didn't make it, but she tried, and she looked super cute doing it too. She's tough nuggets this one. Throwing free throws in a pink cupcake outfit which matches the American Girl Doll she got from Tante Jen for Christmas.....sweetness.

He was very serious about this free throw deal.

On to Super Cosmo. He got a basket, which was pretty awesome. John thinks though that Jack is so gangly and wiry that he resembles a 'baby giraffe being born' when he participates in athletics which require him to run. I can only hope he grows into himself. He enjoys sports but he isn't so natural. Plus he's a lefty, which makes things just a little more difficult.

Poor Maddie...can't hardly wait until next year when she finally gets to play in all these sports she's been sidelined for up until her 5th birthday!

We All Fall Short

2011-02-27T08:40:00.003-06:00

It feels like forever since I've written, and it probably has been. In my defense, for a while I had virtually no usage of my right hand/wrist until I figured out with the help of a fabulous Sports Med physical therapist that essentially I am suffering from Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, google it for fun.

Basically, I woke up the morning after the last Bears/Packer's game with no feeling in my hand, and really bad vasal vagal responses when touching a certain part of my wrist. I thought it was carpal tunnel. It turned out to not be that (obv.) and is essentially an injury resulting from years of swimming, poor posture, and just for fun I'm going to throw in mother hood in there, because I would like to blame any major life changes on my children as much as I can. They'll get their turn to blame me in therapy soon enough, so here's mine.

I've been in PT for a few weeks, and damn if it doesn't hurt. But it IS getting better. I can type now, and perform all my ADL's, which is short for "Activities of Daily Living".

I've also been addressing the issue in my yoga class, because my Fantastic Yoga Teacher Jean has become a friend and mentor and I told her about my TOS and she has decided to gear some of her poses and postures towards me and my issues. I suppose it's a win-win, but on Wednesdays when I have therapy and yoga my body literally collapses at night. Super PT Carolyn promises fixing this issue will help with my triathlon races, and being the trusting lowly momathlete that I am I subject myself to her delicious torture every week.

I am also going through some sort of something here that is hard to define. My daughter is getting ready to go to kinneygarten, and therefore she is entering a new phase of life, which means, essentially, that I need to adjust and enter MY new phase of life. I met with Jean for coffee, and was so inspired. She is a mother of 4 following her dreams, and I want and need to do that too, with hopefully the added bonus of income, unfortunately I am not so very sure what that is anymore. Do any stay at home mothers who haven't really worked or led their own lives know what their dreams are? Do we have any? Are we allowed to have them?

So I've been evaluating things, thinking a lot, and worrying more. Am I doing these things because of my family and the life I've created for the past decade, or really, in spite of it? I'm not sure. I am however subjecting myself to a process and bit by bit beginning to trust it. Once again though, of course it creates the inevitable "mom guilt". There is so little time to follow my own path when the needs, demands and requirements of others are seemingly equally important. In short, in some respect, I am falling short. I am either cheating myself, or my family, neither of which is a very desirable option. And so the cycle continues. The desire to dream and become something greater than the sum of all my parts, the pursuit, the guilt, the 'falling short'.

Where do you fall short? How do you deal with it? Because, truly, we all fall short of our own expectations. Maybe it's all in our own mommy brained heads and we have the disparaging mommy media to thank for that, what with all the syrupy parenting magazines and useless helpful "how tos" on The Matt Lauer Hour . I especially like when Oprah tells everyone how hard it is to be a mom, and Leslie (mom on the rocks) put it best when she said that (paraphrasing here): "Oprah telling me how hard motherhood is is like me telling Oprah how hard it is to be a very rich black woman". Les is very tall. And very white. And very funny. Pretty much the trifecta of everything Oprah isn't. But I digress...this isn't an Oprah bash session, although some people think that the thing to do as a SAHM is sit and watch her all day, so there is relevance to the reference.

Really though...think about it. Where can we improve ourselves, or where do we want to improve, but feel stuck? Think about it. Get back to me if you can.

Song of the Week: Virginia Wolf by the Indigo Girls

I Get By With....

2011-02-11T11:54:00.002-06:00

Look at this beautiful cake...half eaten less than a day upon arrival. Happy Valentine's Day to my Husband, who could care less about Valentine's Day, but sees it as a holiday where the Cubs pitchers and catchers report. The cake was shipped from Omaha, and has Guiness in the batter. Could I have pursued a better gift for the man I love? I think not.

I don't know how I am so lucky to have the friends I do, but well, I am. I was overtly aware of this on Super Bowl Sunday, as I sat with my girlfriend's in the kitchen at a good friend's home, laughing, and laughing and laughing. Then I hung with the boys a bit, watching the game, but sitting between Maddie's GodDaddy and SuperNurse Karin's brother, and it really hit home that there is such an easy comfort in being surrounded. Surrounded by love, friendship, and fellowship that comes fluidly and you can sit and shoot the shit, and be accepted, and when you are broken they pick up the pieces. My heart was so full that day.

Back to the cake. Remember my friend Julianne in Omaha? She picked me up at the library when Nate was a baby! I can't help but think that there was a higher power at work that day, because one day JulzHolla moved to Omaha, where I had the pleasure to visit a few times, making friends with Leslie, and then we all got into triathlons and Leslie roped in Yallison and Yallison roped in Yashley and though we had never met all together at one time, we all just clicked and became friends. Fast forward to the Omaha triathlon, where afterwards Leslie had Julz and I over for pizza and she invited Kelly the Awesome Massage Lady, and Julie the Cake Queen. Julie had brought a triathlon cake that was seriously good, and somehow Julie the Cake Queen and I have hooked up and she sent me cake in the mail. I seriously know how to pick my peeps! Or at least, the Higher Power aforementioned knew who I needed in my life and very gently guided me there, and I have had the good sense to listen.

And that is the short version of the story. I am trying so hard to be good to others, and positive, and I think it's really paying off, because the people I have surrounded myself are so equally full of such good energy.

This past Sunday, Pastor's sermon was about letting your light shine. Do for others, share the light within you. It wove so perfectly with what I've been practicing in Yoga, Namaste, and speaking my own personal truth and all, that I couldn't help but feel inspired. I see what doing good can do for me, and when you ask nothing in return, amazing things happen, like you get cake. In the mail. Pay it forward my friends, and truthfully, the good in those you choose to surround yourself with becomes a palpable thing. I have found my peace at long last.

"The warmth of a friend's presence brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, and pleasure to all of life."

Song for the Weekend:

"For Good"

From the Wicked Soundtrack

Forgot to Post it

2011-02-02T15:48:00.003-06:00

This is my favorite photo of the hood as it stands right now. We also got the call that there is no school tomorrow. Something about how they need to clear paths, parking lots and entryways for the kids to get in. Eat your heart out channel 5 photo contest....

Snow Kids Snowed In

2011-02-02T13:37:00.004-06:00

In case you haven't heard, roughly 20 INCHES (give or take, skim a little off the top) of snow was dumped on the greater Chicagoland area last night. We had a real honest to goodness blizzard, complete with 60 mph winds, lightning and thunder, and a bottle of wine for good measure.

There have been all sorts of cutesy monikers used to describe said storm, which incidentally happens to be among the top 5 worst in this area. Words like, "SNOWTOPIA" and "SNOWMAGEDDON" and others are being tossed around like nickels at a casino on an Indian Reservation, and I'm kind of getting tired of them.

To be fair, there's a lot of effn snow. A lot. I took pictures to memorialize this historical event. We live in the cul de sac, so when the plows and front loaders started pushing the snow into piles, we got the biggest ones. Big enough for the 7 year old outside junkie to snowboard down and land safely in the street. And yes, I said land "safely in the street". Because our street isn't even close to being cleared. There's no way any car, truck, bus or helicopter can drive down it. At this point, I am not sure how the hell the kids are getting to school tomorrow. Yeah, it's that bad. And yeah, I'm secretly loving it. I'm making a gigantor pot of soup. Maddie and I made some easy bake oven brownies and are about to make some chocolate chip cookies. We've done homework, read, watched movies with popcorn at 10 a.m., and we are generally just hunkered down and loving a breather day.

Because that's what this is. Literally a day off of life (except for John, who is telecommuting in the basement. Apparently his co horts in Buenos Aires did NOT have a snow day). We have no where to go. And who would even want to?

It's kinda hard to tell how deep the snow is in front of the house until you realize that is a TREE that is almost covered. Here is Jack climbing said tree. Usually he needs to work up a jump to grab those branches.

This is what my STREET looks like. Like I said, I'm not sure how the hell the kids are getting to school tomorrow.

This is kid in street. He was really loving this.

More tree covered by snow.

Sort of snowboarding. Actually, I think this is falling off the snowboard. Very poetic.

This is the view from inside. The drifts really are bigger than she is.

He was eager to point out how high the snow is off the back porch. Apparently we are not opening that door for a while.

This is what it looks like when you have a snow lover trying to show you what it is like to stand and walk in the snow out on the back porch.

Although I love this being home and all, I do have to say I hope it doesn't snow again for a while. Because it's supposed to get arctic cold around these parts, and so the snow isn't melting for a while. And what will happen when it does? I don't want to find out. So we're in, we're warm, and we're enjoying watching the neighbors and village dig out.

Ladies Nite Out

2011-01-30T15:57:00.003-06:00

I know it's a Christmas Photo. It's also a reminder that they are the reasons why I do what I do, and why I'm trying to be the best work in progress I can be.

Friday night I found out that my super awesome yoga instructor was doing this "Ladies Night Out" yoga special. It was all of an hour and a half (scheduled) of yoga and journaling and then when it was over we had some wine and cheese and various chocolate delights. I didn't get home until almost 11, and it was WONDERFUL.

First of all, let me just say that Super Yoga Lady Jean is like my own personal therapist...even in a room full of people. She's not one of those hippy dippy yoga leaders either, but she believes in the whole mind body connection thing, and truly, I just feel like a better person after going through the postures and listening to what she has to say when I walk out her door.

And so, I invite you to journal your own thoughts, if you have some nice music and a quiet break in life, to contemplate the questions we contemplated a few days ago. It's been a long while since I've introspected, and I have missed it.

So here are your thoughts for the day/week/month/year:

Acknowledge the abundance in your life. Take a moment to list all the areas where you have much. This can include anything and everything, right down to having something as basic as running water.

Take a moment to give thanks for this abundance. In whatever capacity. You could be thanking a God, a friend, whomever, whatever. How do you say "thank you"?

It's time to clean house, inside and out. Literally and figuratively. Make a list of anything you want to let go of.

*Of course, from an introspective point of view I don't exactly have a list here, more of half a novel written. There really is so much to let go of, isn't there?

Contrast what you want to let go of, and write now about what you want to draw near to you in this year.

Think of one word that you want to personify and be and exalt throughout this new year.

*Okay, so I won't rewrite everything else that I have written because it's personal, like a diary entry. At least it's more personal than this blog (there are SOME things I do keep to myself). However, I will tell you I had two words of how I want to live 2011. The first one is "kindness". Kindness in not only action, but in thought as well. At the end of each yoga session, Jean challenges us to speak our own personal truth and that which is 'true, kind and necessary'. So I have to remember really, the "necessary" part, and in turn, ask myself if what I'm saying is both true and kind. This works well for my friends, but gets tricky around my husband and kids. I'm just sayin'.

The other word I had for 2011 is "phoenix", as in the bird, not the City. Think on that and take it as you will. Definitely food for thought.

So, in case I don't get to blog this week:

Your song of the week this week is: "Orange Sky" by Alexi Murdoch

Irrational Mom Thoughts

2011-01-26T09:14:00.002-06:00

Apparently, I am not as crazy as I would lead myself to believe. Truly. My so called 'irrational" mom thoughts aren't so very irrational after all, thus proving my maternal instincts are superior to...well, at the very least they are superior to my husbands maternal instincts.

10 days ago my daughter woke up leaking green goo from her eyes and my first thought was, "Holy Shit! She's going to go BLIND". Of course I didn't say that out loud, because Jack would be thrown into some sort of panic, so I very calmly took her to the local urgent care because it was Saturday.

They swabbed her eye goo and put her on both oral antibiotics and eye drops. We went home, wiped down EVERYTHING. The following Tuesday urgent care calls us with the lab results, but won't really give me them. The nurse was eating her lunch (which bothers me on a whole other sensory level besides being rude when you're making a professional phone call) and tries to impart how urgent it is I get in contact with my regular doc. Okay, I think, but anytime you do an urgent care visit you're supposed to follow up with your doc. I never do. My doc and I have a good relationship. He knows where I work, and what I do, and so he knows that I'm not an alarmist and can handle routine Pink Eye and ear infections just fine.

Imagine my surprise when an hour after I talked to Lunch Lady Land my regular doc called and basically forced a follow up appt. on me.

Good thing too. Apparently my daughter's lab results came back with a "very rare" form of MRSA and a "Rare" form of influenza. Uh, so once again...my first maternal instinct thought of "Holy Shit, she's going bline" wasn't so off base. Doc said we NEVER see this in the eyes, and so now she's also on this antibiotic we swab up her nose. Google MRSA if you want to read more...it's nasty. We've been reported to the county health dept. and get reswabbed today to get off their "list".

Don't you worry, she's not contagious. And nobody else in the fam got this either. Odd.

It's been one of those weeks. So, inspired my Julz's blog about her swim suit (mine was in similar condition, although not quite bad enough to inspire a wardrobe malfunction, yet) I bought a new workout swim suit. The water was a bit chilly, but I was reminded by why I love swimming yesterday. I felt free. It was wonderful.

Song of the week: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
Check it out. It's a great one for a long run.

Namaste

2011-01-16T16:16:00.005-06:00

In Yoga, my super awesome and inspiring instructor Jean ends each session with a very informal "Om" to send peace light and harmony out into the world. We also have our hands in a prayer like formation and touch our forehead, to remember the wisdom within, our lips so that we may speak our inner truth and that which is true kind and necessary, and then our hearts to honor the great love within us that we have to give. Then she bows forward and says, "Namaste", and we, the students follow suit.

A rough and bastardized translation of Namaste is, "The light in me recognizes the light in you". It's very metaphorical. The word "light" could be transplanted with other words, such as "God", "Goodness", "Love", etc. Each week for me it means something different, and I am so grateful I have my yoga teachings to fall back on when I need a little inward guidance.

Thursday I had Maddie's 4 year old parent teacher conference. I was glad John wasn't with me, even though he usually comes, because when he really disagrees with something he gets almost borderline belligerent. I do not argue logical arguments with him. It's not worth it. I have my ways to win an argument though...don't you worry.

At Maddie's conference, her teacher recommended she continue on in the preschool junior 5's program for another year. This was a bit of a pill to swallow. Sure, when I was a teacher, I expected parents to follow my recommendations, and as a therapist I often have to explain hard truths and sometimes even bad news to parents, so out of respect for the teacher (who I think is fabulous, by the way) I heard her out and then completely disregarded her recommendations.

Her basis is NOT academically influenced. The girl knows her letters, her sounds, her phone number and can count higher than some kindergartners by rote. Her suggestion is based on the fact that she has a late birthday (August 15th) and that she's small. There may have been something thrown in there about her social emotional issues too, but let's backtrack.

First of all, I do not think my daughter should be held accountable for the sins of her mother (remember that trip to Napa I took while pregnant? To be fair, I was like, 5 minutes pregnant and didn't know it, but still...argh, the GUILT!). Secondly, she shouldn't be held accountable for her father's family genetics. John's grandmother and Aunts on his dad's side are just NOT very big people, and from what I gather looking at pictures, they never were growing up. She has always been on the wrong side of the scale with her weight, and there is nothing I can do about that. I've had every test run, from diabetes to growth hormone tests and she comes out NORMAL. She's just built small. It's how she is. It's how God made her. And maybe some wine helped...but she's exactly the way she is supposed to be. She will always be small, and a year more of preschool will not help that. This I know for sure.

As I said, her teacher mentioned that she may need time to grow socially and emotionally. Trust me when I say her emotional IQ is just fine. She couched this statement with another that stated that if Maddie did go to Kindergarten, she would be successful academically, and would behave fine. The teacher would never have a problem with her, but maybe another year would boost her confidence and really, "let her shine, because she is so shy during group discussions".

Hold the phone. You're recommending I hold her back because she is "shy"? Really? And because unlike the other girls she doesn't exactly have a bestie in the class? I'll address the latter statement first. I think Maddie, for lack of better wording, could really give a shit about the other girls. You have to remember that her best playmate, her older brother is only 13 months older than she is, and so like twins, they have always had each other. Being someone who on occasion has taught social skills classes to kids aged 4 on up, I can reassure you that her social skills when she has a one on one play date are quite age appropriate. She's fine.

But the shyness? Well, anyone who knows Maddie since birth knows that she has always been that way. It is just the way she is wired. She doesn't like groups, doesn't like crowds, and very definitely, does NOT like having to perform-even around adults she knows. And by perform I mean "fake it". Fake happily giving hugs and kisses when you don't want to, fake having a good time just because someone says you should.... She doesn't do it. That partly drives me crazy because I want her to be the wacky social extrovert that I am, yet mostly it makes me proud that my baby girl can stand her ground and doesn't play the fool for NOBODY.

My dear friend Jenny says I am angry about this recommendation. Maybe I am. I don't know. I do know that John was. Just to be clear though, I really love her preschool, and I think her teacher has her best interests at heart. But I know with everything in me, that on this she is wrong. John and I both agree that just because she's shy isn't really a good reason to hold her back, and in anything in life, I really don't ever want to hold her back. Or hold her down. I want her to have wings to fly and grow and just be herself.

The problem is, who she is, and how she is wired is perceived as being a little...mmmm...defective, or in need of fine tuning. I say she is hardwired this way. This is how God made her, and if she is shy, then so what? The light she has within her will see the light in others willing to let her fly and her path will be lit by a beautiful brightness that she will create on her own terms. That's really Maddie in a nutshell...four perfect words that describe her to a T. On. Her. Own. Terms. Always. And so, within reason I'll let her live her life on her own terms. It's a promise.

Namaste my baby girl, Namaste.

If I Made Resolutions, I Wouldn't Have the TIME to Keep Them Anyway

2011-01-11T09:47:00.003-06:00

It is already almost mid January, and I haven't had 3 minutes to sit down and think about what my New Years Resolutions should be. I suppose I could consider them for the Chinese New Year, but I don't even know if that's in February or at the end of this month this year. And is it the year of the Pig again yet?...because I always find it funny to say I'm in the year of the pig.

I've been thinking that my resolution for last year worked out really, really, well. A personal goal of making the world a better place just by being in it, inspired by the letter in the mail from my pastors. So I'm thinking I'm going to try it again. Even if I just do it for ONE person, I resolve to try and make the world a better place. I like how these leaves a lot of leeway for me. It's my kind of goal to set. And maybe it goes without saying that I don't mean making the whole wide world better, because that is impossible, but the small world of one person. Then that person can make another person's world better, and we will all start to pay it forward.

I also really need to make a better effort at making play dates for Nate. He does alright with the neighborhood kids when they're all running around shooting each other with Nerf darts, but the kids are for the most part all older than he is, so it really should go without saying that I'm going to make more of an effort to call his peers and set things up. We had one of his friends over last week, and it was great. Nate was a super host and I got my floors clean. What more could I want?

I suppose I should also resolve to give the Olympic distance tri one more try. The one in Omaha was crazy hard, and there just happens to be one closer to home I could try before I decide that that particular distance is really not for me.

I'm working very hard on resolving to be less of the yelling mom, because quite frankly I've given myself headaches. I hereby make the resolution to save the hardcore yelling for when my kids are doing something purely boneheaded, such as tying bungee cords to the trees and trying to climb them. I wasn't sure if we'd have broken arms or one less eye to see out of, but the yelling certainly got their attention. I hereby resolve to indulge in a glass of wine when I feel a yelling fit a comin' on.

So far so good on the resolving thing. I like what I've got, but could probably add more. Any suggestions are welcome, but I'd love to know what you're planning on doing to make someone elses 2011 better than their 2010, so let's hear how your're going to become a better person by doing THAT.

Apparently, I Suck at House Sitting

2011-01-04T14:35:00.003-06:00

To be fair, I suppose it's not something I can really blame myself for, but to be clear, perhaps I am not the best person to ask when you need your animals fed.

For the sake of my friends and some family, I am glad that their 2010 has come to a close. For some it couldn't get any worse. Take for example, my good friends Bill and Deb. In a random sequence of tragic events, to put it in a nutshell, their house caught on fire.

The upside? Actually, there are several:
*The home wasn't destroyed.
*For a short while they had to live in a hotel, which homeowners insurance covered the cost of, but they got to 'move' back home before Christmas.
*Most importantly, no body was hurt.
Second most importantly, our clan of friends really banded together, put some cash in an envelope and sent them a very healthy "we're thinking of you" gift basket.

I like to try and put a positive spin on things. It makes me feel better to put an upswing cast to it, and I was amazed at how generous this group of people is, and how much we really love and care for each other when it counts. I really do know who I can count on in times of need.

Also, not having such a great ending to 2010 was my brother in law. He went on a little trip to Cali, so he asked me and the kids to feed his pet kitties. Sure thing. The kids loved the task, the constant routine of doing it for a week was a good show of responsiblity, and I think I may have nipped the "We want a dog" argument in the bud, because they know realize how much work animals require.

Anywho, when said Bro in Law returned home Sunday, I asked him to text me and let me know if everything went okay. I was amazingly patient, and took good care of those cats, or so I thought. And everyone knows how much I really dislike cats, so this was a big deal for me. I was proud of myself and my ability to help someone out with a rather unpleasant task.

So, Sunday night the phone rings around 11, and it's my BIL saying that he was robbed. And do I have his garage door opener? What???!!!! What garage door opener? The one that was left on the table....that I never saw. What was taken? The t.v....that I had NO idea was even missing. Or the computer hidden in the kitchen. Or the gaming systems and games and movies. I mean, it's not like I rifled through cabinets looking for things to be missing.

Ugh. What a mess for him. And of course I feel guilty because I should have somehow known. But I didn't. Again, most importantly, nobody was hurt (because no one was in the house, but the gangsta's must've been aware of the fact that nobody was home for the week). I'm still waiting for the local authorities to start questioning me and the kiddos, but apparently this was the second break in that happened recently in this neighborhood in the past few months. Because it seems the thing to do, I'm going to blame these a*hole criminals on the economy.

So what to do for him? Because I'm pretty sure a fruit basket isn't going to help, I've invited him over for pizza/movie/Star Wars night hoping Nate ropes him into a dastardly game of Super Hero Squad Chutes N Ladders. And I suppose I'll start praying that 2011 gets better for him.

As for me and my immediate family, 2010 was a good year. We all learned important life lessons and are better people for it. We got a little closer to each other. We laughed out loud. And we loved indescribably. Cheers to 2011 to be even better than what we thought we could be!

Why I Think Everyone Should Abandon Their Kids for About a Week

2010-12-28T19:57:00.004-06:00

We celebrated our 10 years of wedded bliss anniversary on the 16th of December. It truly has flown by so incredibly fast. We got to have a lot of downtime by celebrating on a cruise ship which ported in the BWI's at the Island of Grand Turk and then in the Bahamas at Princess Cays, a private island owned by Princess Cruise lines, but really an offshoot of the larger island of Eleuthera.

I enjoyed this time with my husband tremendously. We really didn't do too much thinking about the kids, which was helped and made okay by the fact that even though we had a cell phone, there was really no way to get in contact with us because we lost service somewhere in the open water. So, it was nice to not be thinking of them every second. Plus, with my mom watching them I knew they were in good hands. As it turned out, nobody was injured except her, and that was not even a little bit of a surprise.

As far as cruises go, apparently the Princess line is typically reserved for the retired crowd, but being a week before Christmas there was plenty of younger people and small kids on the boat. It was a good mixture of a crowd. We also heard some of the ins and outs from veteran cruisers (one couple we had dinner with was on their 50 something cruise). There was enough to do, especially on the islands, but John got a little bored during the At Sea days with just lying around by the pool. I had no problem really, but I like to read and was halfway through 'The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest". Fantastic read by the way.

So, here is a photo of one of the more interesting things that happened. We ported in Grand Turk next to the Prime Minister of Quatar. The jury is still out on whether or not he was on the boat, but his family was. This is the 4th most luxurious yacht in the world. Probably listed as the 4th because it had ONLY one helipad. It was truly a beautiful ship. Owned by some rich S.O.B. If I could flip this for you I would. This was taken during our 'formal night' which was a lot of fun. We sat in the fancy schmancy wine bar drinking expensive wine and eating sushi and watching the staff build a Champagne Waterfall. It was cool to watch.

This is John watching the boat leave without him.....Kidding! We actually had to be tendered in the life boats out to the Princess Cays island.

And here we have the big gigantor t.v. that you could watch movies under the stars on. They gave you popcorn and blankets. We didn't watch any movies per se, but we did enjoy watching the Bears beat Minnesota on Monday Night Football. Funny story...on our honeymoon in St. Lucia we watched a WGN Tom Skilling weather report describing the horrible Chicago Snow Storm we were missing. Ten years later, We're watching the Bears tear down the Vikings in freezing cold. Isn't it ironic?

Yay. There I am on a tropical Island, but my husband didn't know how to use the zoom feature on the camera.

Okay, so we went on an island excursion. Which was waaay overpriced, but I learned a few things. Apparently Turk was a huge importer of salt. They had this amazingly complex way of diverting the ocean water into the inland areas and drying it out. Thus, their economic basis. This, me next to a giant pile of salt.

It's my shadow.

I love the beach. I love the ocean. It was a little chilly, and a little rough, but we had fun jumping into the waves.

Ahhhh....This island was beautiful. This is where I was 3 days before Christmas.

This is taken our last night.

The gorgeous over the ocean sunset, also taken our last night. Since my camera has video capabilities, I videoed the sunset so that the kids could see how fast the eart really spins. I don't think they quite got it.

I am happy to report that on this cruise I didn't gain any weight. I can see how easy that would be, what with the gourmet all you can eat buffet. And I'm serious about it being Gourmet. This wasn't any old Ol Country Buffet crap. They had lobster claws in the buffet. Anywho, John and I decided to enjoy ourselves, but we also decided not to visit the burger place on the boat, because we can get burgers any time. And we also ixnayed the pizza bar. We live in Chicago for goodness sakes, a pizza bar on a boat could never compare.

I also had one of the best massages I've ever had. The masseuse thought I was in my early 20's, much too young to have 3 kids. And she said that I must be happy with what I'm doing because it keeps me young.

So, yes, I am happy. I'm so glad John and I had this opportunity. We spent part of the time speculating on where our 15 and 20 year anniversaries will take us, but we know we have plenty of time for that. Still, it was good to reconnect, whether at the wine bar, or pool side, or during tea time (mmm...pastries) or during the hypnotists show (so awesome!). I really do recommend couples go away for a bit of time away from the kids though. I keep telling John that I don't want to be like Al Gore, or other people who find out when their kids leave that all they really liked about each other were their kids.

I suppose I don't have to worry about that one though...we still really really like each other too.

And so I leave you with another awesome sunset....

Just kidding, there's more. This is me taking a picture of John taking a picture.

Truly, one of my favorite pics from the trip. Mostly because of how natural it is. He looks red because we were watching the sun set. But this is John's real happy face, not the face you see in the posed pictures he takes.

Okay, now this. THIS is a joke. He was annoyed I took the pic, but then he thought that this was really funny, so he decided to frame it for his sister to put on her wall, so that any time she was in doubt about a decision she has to make, all she has to do is look at this and think, "WWJD". Or, What Would John Do. And the face will give her the direction she needs.

Love that he's got such a GREAT sense of humor. Maybe, really, THAT is what keeps me young. Because if laughter is the best medicine, that's probably the reason I'm never really sick.

On Cruise Control

2010-12-09T20:30:00.002-06:00

Those of you on facebook know that they have recently updated the profile page. It looks wonderfully overwhelming. You can also add information in about where you live, work, eat, sleep, crap, and whatnot. The new profile asks you to answer questions such as the following: Who inspires you? And "Who are your favorite athletes"?

My favorite athletes....that one is easy. I could get all Chicago-ey on people and be lame and say oooohh... Ron Santo (May he rest in peace), or Michael Jordan. But that would not be true. My favorite athletes are also some of the same people who inspire me. JulzHolla www.weisswomen.blogspot.com being one of them. And www.momontherocks.com Leslie being another. These women are amazing mothers, friends, and yes, athletes. The three of us tackled the Omaha Olympic distance tri together this summer, and I got to not only accomplish something HAYUGE but I was inspired by how hard they work, how they cheer each other on (and me too), and seriously, how they made so many friends before, during, and after the event. When I say these women are so open and loving they make friends everywhere, it is not a joke. And so for this they are 2 of my favorite athletes.

Then there's Keri www.baylorandbrody.blogspot.com. A natural athlete who keeps wanting to race with me, but I can't because I'm pretty sure I'd be embarrassed by how good she is. And yet, she manages to balance work, family and play very well. Nicely done.

Some of my other favorite athletes are also my local runner friends, Cheryl who always kicks my butt when we do our Run for the Bear cancer run, Julie and Kim....who keep me motivated to run a 9.3 mile race and continue training all the time.

These are my favorite athletes, because they have touched my life and made it better. I don't care about some showboating, penis waving, crotchety old hack of a famous quarterback. Give me my girls.

The other question was about who inspires me. I could say something prolific like, "Mother Teresa", but that's pretty lame because she should inspire everybody to do good for others. Nah. As I said, my favorite athletes are the same people who inspire me.

But, there's also my yoga instructor Jean, who during her practice teaches us to follow our own inner guide and only speak words which are intentional, kind, true and necessary. Think about that for a moment. Or ten. Only speak that which is kind. True. And Necessary-the hardest part. Have you done that today? It's hard to do all three at once, but with intentional practice works wonders for your soul.

My Pastors inspire me. They don't rant and rave about God Almighty so much as gently coax those of us lucky enough to sit in the pews on a Sunday to be an example of God's love and kindness to others all the days of our lives. Every month they send out a flier with words of wisdom, and I have saved them on more than one occasion.

As most of you know, John and I are going on a 10 year celebrate our anniversary cruise next week (thanks Ma for watching the kiddos). Sometimes I wonder what the hell we were thinking doing this so close to Christmas! There are parties to be had. Presents to be bought and wrapped. The house needs to be clean. I realized though, how important it was to celebrate such an achievement, because to get to 10 years and live in the minority of statistical marital evidence deserves a CELEBRATION! In the midst of all the craziness of preparing for the cruise, I got the Newsletter from our church Pastors, and it could not have come at a more appropriate time.

Thus, I leave you with their words that inspire me, and inspire peace. A true "Recipe for Peace".

"A Recipe for Peace

Wouldn't it be nice if there were peace on earth, peace within our families, and peace within ourselves? If we couldn't have these, wouldn't it be nice to have peace at least a few days before or after Christmas? We all know what time of year this is, Christmas time. During Christmas, we are often short of money, short of time, and short of temper, short of patience. In preparations for the Prince of Peace, wouldn't it be nice to have a little bit of Christmas peace at your house or mine?

Down deep inside of every human being, there is a deep God-given longing that there would be a greater sense of peace within ourselves, within our families, within our nation, an between nations. Isaiah, the prophet, had the same longings. During his time, his people had been fighting for forty years. Can you imagine what it is to live in Palestine or Afghanistan, or Iraq today? Isaiah knew that when God created humankind it was not Gods' intention for us, parents and children, and blacks and whites and Arabs and Israelis, and Persians and Americans, Muslims and Christians, to be at war with each other.

Isaiah knew and understood the recipe for peace so that the people of Israel could live at peace with each other. So he gave them the recipe, but they didn't understand it, so for 700 years the people continued to fight with each other until the Prince of Peace, Jesus, came to earth and actually walked in the paths of peace.

The first part of this recipe is this: a person needs o be filled with the Spirit of the Prince of Peace, Jesus. When the Spirit of the Prince of Peace begins to live inside of you, you start becoming a peaceful person, more tolerant, more at ease. You can't skip that ingredient in the recipe.

Second, anytime the Spirit of the Prince of Peace lives inside of you, it results in righteousness, right relationships between two people or nations. Righteousness is to treat each other with gentleness, kindness, and forgiveness. Righteousness always consists of a healthy dose of forgiveness. You can't have peace in any family without forgiveness. You cannot have peace without righteousness. You just can't.

Third, anytime the Spirit of the Prince of Peace lives inside of you, it results in justice. You cannot have peace without justice, fairness, equity for the millions or billions on earth who are hungry and starving and don't have clean water or gainful employment.

However, we want to take shortcuts. There are not shortcuts to peace in our families, and not shortcuts to peace within our inner hearts and minds, and no shortcuts to peace in the world. there are no shortcuts to God's peace. All three steps are needed; all three ingredients are absolutely essential; the Prince of Peace inside, righteousness, and justice. We need ALL THREE ingredients or it won't work.

The angels in the Christmas story were singing high above the shepherds and they sang, "Peace on earth, good will towards all people, with whom God is well pleased." The angels did not sing, " Peace on earth for all people....Peace on earth carte blanche. Anyone with a credit card can charge it." Rather, the song of peace adds a crucial ingredient, "with whom God is well pleased:' that is, people who do the will of God will find peace. Many people want the shortcut and omit the phrase, "with whom God is well pleased." Do you long for peace? Do you long for peace in your marriage, in your family, in yourself? Do you long for peace among the nations? Yes, we all do.

Peace can actually happen......You see given time, and certain conditions peace can and does happen, even to all of you cynics that don't believe in God's peace. Peace can happen in your marriage, in your children, in your workplace. We know that there are no shortcuts to peace, although some people foolishly try them. There is a recipe for peace: The Prince of Peace inside our hearts and motivations who then work for righteousness and justice. When it is all done, many individuals, families and nations find peace and live in peace.

We all know what time of year this is, Christmas time. Will you be short of time, short of temper, short of patience, short of tolerance and understanding? In preparation for the Prince of Peace, wouldn't it be nice to have a little bit of Christmas peace at your house or mine?"

The Hooligan Squad

2010-11-30T16:21:00.004-06:00

My kids are nuts. Pretty certifiably. Unless I'm the one that's nuts, and since no one has had the mercy to lock me in a padded room, I get to regale you with my stories.

Often times, the boys get the nicknames of Beevis and Butthead. One blond, one dark. Sitting on the couch grunting 'laughs'. You think it's a t.v. show. That's a joke. It's my living room.

Last night I took the boys to their school for a Don't Stop The Music program, where there is singing, and dancing, and learning of instruments and how to clap out rhythms, etc. You can drop your kids off, and since they have a hard time participating when I'm there, I decided to do the drop off. Maddie and I needed to run to the grocery store for some things for this party I'm having here Saturday. John was doing Christmas things that cannot be done with kids around, if you know what I mean.

So, I plunked them into 2 folding chairs, said hello the the speech therapist, waved at the Principal, and cockily took my merry ass to Jewel/Osco.

They were supposed to be performing at 7:15, and I got back just in time. I looked in the dance crowd for Nate. Then Jack. They were nowhere to be found. Then....I see them. Pointing at me and laughing. They were in the EXACT same spots I'd left them in an hour earlier. They hadn't even taken off their hats. Or gloves. Or coats. They hadn't moved. In an hour. Obviously they did not participate either.

I was, for lack of a better word, FURIOUS! But I was also laughing to myself. What the hell is wrong with these kids? Mostly I was mad because the high school kids work really hard on a volunteer basis to put together such an awesome program. Then I figured, this will be the story they tell each other, when they're in high school sharing a beer (trust me, I know that one's coming. I'm not even in denial) saying, and laughing in their Beevis and Butthead voices...

"huh huh huh....remember the time, when mom made us go to that STOOPID music program.... and we did nothing. Yah, that was funny. Huh huh huh huh huh..."

Their first drunk story. I am so freaking proud.

It's Been a Busy Week

2010-11-29T07:08:00.006-06:00

Aside from the usual Thanksgiving Festivities, we've been plowing through our annual traditions around here, mostly because the hubby and I are going on a Carribbean cruise in a few weeks for the 5 days leading up to Christmas. I couldn't pull the kids out of school to celebrate so momentous an occasion, and so basically, I'm losing a week with my holiday shopping, preparing, decorating, etc. Add to that hosting a ginormous party this upcoming weekend which I am very excited about, and well, I feel a bit pressed.

One of MY favorite fam traditions is going to the city to see the Holidays around the World exhibit at the museum of Science and Industry. Then we hit the hotel for about 10 minutes, go to dinner at Rainforest Cafe (we use our meal coupons from the summer reading program at the library), and then go to Lincoln Park Zoo. Their zoo lights exhibits are amazing, and it's cool to see the gorrilla's sleeping in their nests.

The final day is spent in the pool at the hotel for a bit, and then we hit the Chicago Children's Museum at Navy Pier. Way too much fun.

This is the motley crew in front of the Blackhawks tree at the MSI. My camera, no matter the settings, cannot do it justice. Rest assured it's beautiful. And amazing. The topper was the Stanley Cup...or at least a foam replica of it. We skip around a bit. You can't tell, but this is some ice carvings at the the zoo. By the way, it was FREEZING Friday night.

At the MSI, there is a circus area, complete with funhouse mirrors. Nate thinks his enormous head is hilarious. I swear, the kids spent like 10 minutes running mirror to mirror. Even people passing thought they were a riot. Proud mother moment...There's my kid with the gargantuan head.....

This is me and the monkeys in front of the penguin exhibit.

At the Chicago Children's Museum, playing Fireman Dress Up. She wanted to be the puppy.

Nate found it necessary to dress up in adult sized fireman clothes instead of the ones they had for his size.

Jack found one with the pants a little too short...

It's a fun exhibit. You get to call on the radio in the truck to dispatch, put out LED fires with a laser like hose....crawl through a simulated smokey house....

There's also an area where you can build a sky scraper. Or, as my dad thought, a shed in the backyard. You get screws, and nuts, and a 'nutdriver'.

She was very enthusiastic about building, just like the brothers.

Nate made some sort of artsy craftsy project. It involved a lot of tape, and we're still not sure what it was.

This is the house that Jack built.....

Race car pig tail girl.

This was fun. There's an extra exhibit there that we didn't go into all about Jim Henson and his muppets. Kermit was under the tree. It was fun to spot the puppets in the presents.

I leave you with me and the Crew!

Let the Holiday Season Begin!

Well, I was BUSY winning WORST Mother of the Year Award...What Were YOU doing?

2010-11-20T00:50:00.002-06:00

I feel bad for my friend Keri. Mostly, because she doesn't live close enough to me to get into the nitty gritty of mommy hood. She blogs a lot about how she knows certain mommies who are way too freaking awesome. Their kids are for lack of better wording, THE BOMB! Oh, you know those mama types who have all their shit together (and are medicated) and they and their children are righteously perfect with no effort made on their part.

Well, My dear Keri, sit down, while I chat with you and brag about how CRAPPTACULAR of a mother I am. Some moms brag about how awesome their kids are....Ummmmm I kinda sorta live in the real world...

Okay...here's my story. I have actually debated about blogging about it, because I could be reported. But I made my phone calls. Those directly involved promised me they would report me. If you decide to report me, I will deny this is my blog. And so,....

Monday night I went to my preschool board meeting and told my dear friend Jenny, "WAIT until I tell you how I lost the "Mother of the Year" award this time around."

She's pretty much in contention with me for "Worlds Worst Mom", so she was giddy...excited. She replied..."Ooooh, I can't wait.... does it involve illegal activities?" To which I unfortunately truthfully responded..."Um, Yah, Kind of".

So, back to the story of how bad I suck at my day job. We all know John works from home way too much, or 3-5 days a week, I mean, I LOVE HAVING HIM HOME. I assumed wrongly he would be home Monday afternoon when he said Monday at 8 a.m. that he gave up working out early because he was too tired. I assumed wrongly he was done for the day when I decided to go to Walmart to get a sewing kit to sew on these stupid Boy Scout Patches that he would be home. Madders had a ride home from school Nate had a ride home. Great. But Nobody was home. I was at Walmart. John decided to go for a run.

I got a call from Maddie's Mommy friend asking if John was home (as she was dropping Maddie off), because Nate came outside when she dropped Maddie off saying he had NO IDEA where his Mommy and Daddy were.

Here is the breakdown in a nutshell. Nate gets home at 11:20. Maddie got home at 11:45. Mommy was at Walmart doing Boy Scout B.S., Daddy was running....Nate was home unsupervised for roughly 25 minutes. Yes, I left my son unsupervised for damn near half an hour. Let's read that more closely. Nate was HOME ALONE. Macauly Culkin style. I messed up, because I cannot depend on my husband to be home at my whim when he works from home.

If you want to report me fine, but I warn you...I might enjoy it. Quiet time. No cleaning up the same mess day after day after day after day after day. But I assure you it was an honest mistake. Even if it involved illegal activities.

Nate did great by the way. He turned on the t.v. and went to his happy "Sponge Bob SquarePants" place.

Now, Jenny thinks it's funny that I felt bad, and in my "bad mommy moment" I knelt beside him and said, "Nate, Mommy is soooo sorry. I feel terrible. Nest time this happens, go to Annika's house". It's funny because I prefaced it with a "next time" clause.

Look, I gotta cover my bases.

Even when I Eff Up.

Because I'm not perfect. I never pretend to be.

And we've all survived in spite of it.

Because a Regular Day Isn't Crazy Enough

2010-11-12T07:15:00.002-06:00

I took some really cute photos of the kids carving pumpkins a while back, so I thought I'd share before my explanation of why I never have time to blog.

Maddie was very excited to be doing things mostly on her own this time! Jack REALLY did it on his own. He used the little tools and everything. He was also relatively injury free for the evening, which was nice.

Okay, this is the actual Halloween photo. Nate decided he wanted to be a Ninja instead of a dinosaur. I didn't care either way because the costumes were $3 a piece at Good Will. They served their purpose.

He did NOT carve that. He just picked the design. But, knowing Nate he'd probably tell you that he did.

Yesterday was really so much FUN! Really. Dripping with sarcasm fun. It all started on Monday when I took the yahoos (I mean boys) for the 6 month dental check up. After the whole rigamarole with Nate a little over a year ago I do not take chances and we go religiously for our cleanings.

Well, it was discovered that Mr. Deformed Enamel somehow had an already filled molar rampant with decay. In fact, it was so bad part of his tooth had broken off. Our regular dentist had threatened with another "kiddie root canal". Yay!

With our insurance, the regular dentist will not treat this problem, so I had to go to a Pedontist. Which means the nearest one on my insurance is over 20 miles and 45 minutes away. Riduculous. Plus, they only see kids under 6 before 11 a.m. on a weekday. That does not work with going to school from 8:30-11:15. More ridiculous. So I made our appt. for the Monday before Thanksgiving...Dentist at 8, parent teacher conferences at 11:15.

Oh, but that was not to be. When I called for the initial appt. they asked if he was complaining of any pain. "Ummm...I don't really pay that much attention to him, because he is a middle child and all, but I will check on that and get back to you later."

So, I asked Nate. Does your mouth ever hurt buddy? And his answer was, "Only when I bite down."

Crap.

So I called the dentist yesterday at 8:15 and explained. They wanted me there by 9 a.m. Uh, no, that is not physically possible...I took 6 kids to school yesterday (I love carpools by the way). So they wanted us at 1. 1 I could do.

We got there and they took him in right away. I was about to get a nice butt grove going and was just about to crack open my book when the dentist called me back and said, "Yeah, I'm going to have to fix this for you right now." Yup. It was THAT bad.

So I asked the receptionist what that meant for insurance and she went to veryify with doc what that meant and they couldn't tell me because the dentist was not all that sure what he would find when he went in. double crap.

As it turned out (sorry for the buzzkill), he did NOT need a baby root canal, but the filling is huge. Apparently he has to keep this tooth to save the space for his grown up molars. Whatever.

Can't wait to get this bill just in time for Christmas!

Little Miss....Inapropriate

2010-11-03T16:06:00.003-05:00

Today is Wednesday, which means Nate had OT and ST (occupational and speech therapy), which means I was at my clinic for almost 2 hours, which means I got to chat it up with a very dear and good friend of mine for a while before I subjected myselft to torture for the sake of being um, ahem, "athletic".

Jenny and I banter. Back and forth like old ladies. She shares my visceral hatred of some words like secrete, and moist, only on a scale of 1-10 her gag reflex is set at 100. People come in just to listen to our back and forth. We could probably make quite a bit of money off this routine, and lest ye think we hold back, be warned you should really have a thick skin when you have this good a rapport with someone. I have a handful of friends it works with. The rest I have to remember that I can't call you a "bitch" because you think it's derrogatory, not a term of endearment. That's okay though, my DB friends know who they are.

So, Jenny and I were talking. About how she bought a new minivan. From Iowa. That was hit by a deer. And she hasn't even seen it yet, but her brother said it was okay, so I guess we trust him, which of course set me off on a rant. I must've said something pretty awesome, because she said, "Do you know those little miss books? Yeah, you'd be "little miss Inappropriate". And I could not argue, because that is pretty much true.

At 2:00 today I visited the Sports Med section of the clinic I work at for some therapy of my own that did not include a bottle of some fine full bodied red. I lay down on the table, and before she even touched me, my PT Goddess Carolyn (who runs a lot more than I do) says, "Yah, I don't even have to touch you and I can SEE how tight your IT band is". Is that bad? I vaguely wondered....until she ultrasounded it, and then massaged the CRAP out of it. Tears and physcial therapy go hand in hand like MnM's and popcorn...that's all I'm sayin'. There may have been a few embarrassing watery trickles leaking down my cheeks, but maybe not since I was squeezing my eyes so tight to not focus on the pain. Yoga breathing did not help. The outer part of my left knee is probably going to be bruised tomorrow, but that's okay because she realigned my right hip (probably out of whack because of the left knee) and then kinesiotaped me for the extra support for this Hot Chocolate 15k I'm running on Saturday.

Yes, I'm running over 9 miles. No, I'm not in my right mind, and I do not know what I was thinking.

Then Carolyn decides that I'm not in enough pain so she showed me just how much more pain I can subject myself too if I just position my IT band on a foam roller just right and roll it out. I quote, "If it hurts, you're in the right spot. If it doesn't, you're either too far forward and on the quad, or too far back on your hamstring." Friends, hurt is an understatement. It was pain of the type that made me nauseous and is supposedly GOOD for me. So now I get to buy a foam roller and do these exercises 2x a day and hope it helps with the pain. It's like, you have to spend money to make money, only more like, you have to be in excruciating wanting to die pain before the other pain in your knee goes away. Hmmmm....

What is actually wrong with me? Well, according to The Goddess of Sports Med, My IT band is so tight it is pulling my kneecap up and making it gap, thus causing some tendonitis below the knee. My hip only hurts because I wanted to avoid my knee hurting...a compensation injury if you will.

So, wish me luck with this 15k. It's for a really good cause. And wish me luck with my knee, because I don't want to have to do again what I did today.

Yeah, that pretty much sucked.

Mom Prom, Take 2

2010-10-26T15:37:00.003-05:00

Last year, I got to go to my first ever Prom. The Mom Prom. I never went in high school because I was never asked. I was pretty much a fat dork, so it's no surprise. I spent Prom Night with my buddy Karl (he didn't want to go to prom either) watching a first run showing of Forest Gump. It was a good time, and having known Karl since we were in 2nd grade, it was like attending a movie with a sibling. Our last hurrah before college consisted of an American Graffiti style night out involving the local pool and illegal activities.....but I digress.

Last year I dressed as Waldo's girlfriend. This year...well...you'll see. And I got to take BOTH boys to the Prom! It was so fun!

This is my son the skeleton. Last year he wanted to be a skeleton, and I couldn't find the costume. This year I found the costume at Good Will for $5, brought it home and he decided he wanted to be a Storm Trooper. And I unknowingly offended anything with a penis when I said, "But you were one 2 years ago." GASP! "NO MOM!! I was NOT a Storm Trooper, I was a CLONE Trooper, they are different."
Really? There's a freaking difference? When can I start playing that Star Wars drinking game, the one where everytime you see a bad guy in white you take a shot???

Doesn't Nate look ferosh? I am so proud of him though...he went to the dance with me and only freaked out a little bit. Then he was happily doing the hand jive, and the macarena, and we even did the Charlie Brown. "Everybody Clap your haaaaaaaands! Stomp, criss cross!"More ferociousness. These costumes better bag them a lot of candy.

Okay, so here's the story. I decided to be one of the Andrews sisters after I found the army jacket and couldn't find any pants that fit me. Apparently there are a lot of heavier men wearing army costumes around Halloween, and then giving the costumes to goodwill. If you don't know who the Andrews' were, google them. Think Bugle Boy. ALL the mommies at the dance got it. I know, I know I know! In their famous army photo for the USO they wore button down shirts with a tie, but young boys wouldn't get that AT ALL, and they thought the army jacket itself was cool. Add to that the fact that I told them I was from the 1940's and I was borderline cool.

After the dance, I put the boys to bed and went to a grown up party with my neighbor. Thank goodness it was within walking distance. It was a fun party...I attempted to be all gossipy and get some scoop on someone my neighbor and I both know and before I could ask the question in my head I was handed a shot of whiskey, which then made me even forget I had a question to begin with.

Then Shaggy Do was refilling my beer and asked me why I was dressed as an Angry Nazi for Halloween. In case you've never seen me when I've had a few...Ummmm...I don't get angry. Sure, I may drunk dial my parents, but I don't get angry. So where this dude got ANGRY Nazi from is beyond me. The Nazi thing...maybe. Maybe I should have told people I was Eva Braun.

Later in the evening there was this dude there named Bob with no costume on. So I taught him how to fist pump and started introducing him to everyone as my new friend "The Situation". Obnoxious yes, Angry, no.

Saturday was fun. Slight headache, but moreso just exhaustion. When's the last time I went to a grownup party like that?

When can I go again?

When You Have To Choose

2010-10-20T14:36:00.003-05:00

I'm starting to realize that part of my problem with artistic endeavors, home decorating, painting, and being organized is the requirement that you need to make choices. And what makes that harder is that the choices you have to make have to be done from such a vast array of possibilities that all just look so good. That's why I'm good at cooking and baking. You have one choice: Dinner with some allergen parameters and you're given the ingredient list with some variations. I can make those choices. I can help my children choose their clothing in the morning because it needs to be weather appropriate. I can choose a good book to read or movie to watch.

I cannot choose between my children.

Now, I'm not referring to choosing between them as in, "Who do I like more today?" because the real answer to that question varies. Daily. Hourly. Minute-ly. But now, I am faced with a very real situation that requires me to make a choice between Nate and Maddie. Don't worry, it's not life or death or anything as melodramatic as that, but still.

I consider myself to be a good mom. Maybe not a GREAT mom, but I really don't have the time or energy to be a GREAT mom. You know who the GREAT moms are, they never yell (my theory is they are medicated), they are always just a tad on the weirdly overjoyed side to see their kids home from school (medicated or drunk?) and they make cute little cut out sandwiches for their kids lunches. Oh, and GREAT moms do home made Halloween costumes. I fit into not one of those categories, but I do provide my children with basic necessities: food when they're grunting about hunger pains, activities such as soccer and gymnastics and basketball. I even show up for those cold ass soccer games that I ENJOY SO FREAKING MUCH.

However, as a just good enough mom, I now have to choose whose Thanksgiving program I go to. This is the problem with children who are 13 and 1/2 months apart. They do the same kind of stuff for school on the same days at the EXACT same time, the only problem is the schools are 15 minutes down the road from each other.

So, who do I support? Either way, someone will be disappointed that Mommy and daddy can't BOTH be there to watch. Nate has lines he needs to memorize. It's like a real show. This is Maddie's last year in preschool (the same preschool I've been with for the past 5 years), and so I'd love to be there for sentimental reasons.

How do I choose who I am lucky enough to let down that day? We only have 1 videocamera, so I can't record both of them to show the other parent. It's a conundrum, and the best solution I have is to beg the kindergarted teacher to allow me to come in for a dress rehearsal. But still, it won't be the same.

I'll never be a GREAT mom, but I was hoping I'd pass the test to be at least a C average mom. I'm thinking that if this is only the first of a few major let downs on my part in choosing between children, I may not even make the grade at all.

Pumpkin Patching

2010-10-19T13:12:00.003-05:00

We decided to take the kids to another pumpkin patch this year, even though we drove 1 1/2 to go to one for my cousin's kiddos 3rd birthday. It was a beautiful day, as it was over 80 degrees, which made riding on a hay ride seem a bit odd. But we had fun anyway.

Yes, this is the 4 people I love the most, even if John makes funny faces every time I ask him to pose nice for the camera.

These bouncy pillow thingies are the bomb. THE. B.O.M.B.! I'm glad they are finally making their way to IL, as if you remember (which I'm sure you don't) we first got acquainted with them 3 years ago at Vala's Pumpkin Patch in Omaha.

Down she goes!

I'm going to turn this black and white. Or sepia. And do something with it. Unless Keri has a better idea. I just love this shot.

Frickin' goats. I hate goats. Almost as much as I hate balloons. And cats. These goats didn't smell as bad as goats usally do, but still. Why are goats ALWAYS the only animal you can really pet in a petting zoo? And WHY do they always try to eat my clothes? I hate goats.

This is me and the kiddos. Almost Christmas card perfect!

Happy Fall Ya'll!

Friday 5's (Five New Fotos, Five New Facts)

2010-10-15T13:39:00.003-05:00

Yes, this is Nate, laying in the middle of the street in front of the house. And yes, I took a picture of it. He was punching Jack and Jack just gave it right back to him. No, he's not wearing shoes. How sweet is this? Until you know that Jack was teaching Maddie to rollerblade so that she could play hockey with him. As in, he could shoot pucks at her with the old hockey stuff Opa "donated" to him. Dad was nice enough to give Jack his old hockey stick, which happens to have been a lefty. Pretty soon, I'm sure Dad's going to be donating other random things in his garage to his 4 favorite boys....tools....tools....maybe some fishing stuff....did I mention his tool collection?

What I WANTED to do was take a picture of Maddie. What wound up happening was Nate jumped right in front of my camera. He does that a lot.

It's like the helmet is bigger than her head. And when she falls she just says " Oooh, I fell on my booty! Good thing I have cushion on my bootie!"

I love this pic. Action shots are my fave. It's real life, not a posed moment. And if you know my kids, those posed moments don't always turn out so well....

Five Facts about Jack:

1.) He's getting better at soccer. Such a difference between first and second grade. He likes to say that he's got "mad defense skills", and his father and I have 'mad eyerolling skills'.

2.) He's tall and skinny. Do you know how hard it is to find 8 SLIM pants?

3.) His favorite foods are spaghetti, hamburgers and fruit. When offered a snack, he goes for fruit.

4.) He got to watch Pirates of the Caribbean last week, and wants Nate to watch it with him because he says it's not scary. I'm still on the fence, but they DO seem able to separate the Star Wars Fantasy land from real life pretty well, it would probably be the same with Pirates.

5.) The kid LOVES slapstick. He's been after John to find more Stooges episodes.

Five Facts about Nate:

1.) He's doing really well reading sight words. We've even read some Dick and Jane and Dr. Seuss books together. Wow.

2.) He's very seriously a math whiz. The kid adds and subtracts like crazy.

3.) Right now, on his bedroom floor, there is an epic battle going on amongst all his guys. Some are in the window sills, some are on the bed. It's a death match.

4.) The kid changes his underwear and clothes 3-4 times a day. Not because they're dirty, but because he doesn't like wearing long pants on his legs, and hates pants buttons, and HATES socks.

5.) He's a tv/wii junkie. I REALLy have to limit it, or he will be a couch potato. And he'll be happy about it too.

Five Facts about Mads:

1.) She's now in preschool 4 mornings a week. Wednesdays are "enrichment" days, and she LOVES it.

2.) She picked out a witch costume for Halloween, and wants to be a scary witch. Some days she's all girly girl, and some days she takes a street hockey puck to the chest. I love that.

3.) She LOVES music. She likes to go to the library and get cd to listen to. Currently, she's been singing at the top of her lungs the Veggie Tales Christmas Songs. LOVE IT!

4.) She sort of has a lisp. It seems to be resolving though. I keep reminding myself she's young. And she's stimulable when corrected.

5.) She can still fit in 24 month pants/skirts/shorts, but needs at least a 3T for the length. She swims in a size 4 (she only weighs 32/33 lbs). But, since she's so tall, she can wear 4 or 5 tops. Doc says she's 'almost' in the 20th percentile for weight, which dropped from a year agot from being almost in the 50th. But, she's healthy, happy, and I'm not going to worry!

Your Recipe of the Uh....Week/Month/Who's Keeping Track?

2010-10-15T13:32:00.002-05:00

I totally invented this soon to be famous recipe for healthydairy free turkey meatballs. Yum.

Take 1lb of ground turkey.
Add 2 HEAPING Tablespoons of Nutritional Yeast Flakes. These add lots of goodies for your body AND lends a cheesy flavor without dairy. Also, NYF are known as a Superfood.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutritional_yeast

Add 2 Tablespoons of Ground Flax Seed.
Add 2 TBSP Wheat Germ
Sprinkle in some italian seasonings, garlic powder and maybe some dried onion flakes if you're in the mood.

In a separate bowl, mix 1 serving of Ener G egg replacer (it works as a binder, but I don't know a lot about chemistry so I'm not sure why or how, but it DOES work).

Mix every thing together by hand. Roll into balls. Bake in oven at 350 til done. Dip in Marinara....Yummy!

Well, He Gets to Cross "Have an Endoscopy" off His Bucket List

2010-10-11T19:51:00.003-05:00

My weeks have all begun to run together and while I like it busy, I can honestly say I don't ever have a moment to myself. So then, it seems downright WRONG to have anticipated John's doctor visit last week by greedily deciding it would be at least half an hour that I could work my crossword puzzle.

The short of the long of it is, he's been having issues with, um, digestion. I can't really describe it because it makes no sense to me, but I'm not living in his body. Apparently, it seems as though certain foods don't really go into the stomach, per se. He says they feel 'stuck' in his esophogas near his stomach. After telling our Doc during his annual physical (that he only does because his company will give him money for being healthy), the doc recommended him to have this endoscopy, which directionally speaking, is the polar opposite of a colonoscopy. I have mentioned before how my husband's diet has had to have changed drastically. I have failed to imprint on you the many ways this is ruining MY life.

1.) He has cut out caffeine. Totally. He's been sleeping better at night, but because I feel mean making a pot of coffee when he's home (which is 5 days a week), I am sleeping through my days. My new daily weight loss regimen of a cup of green tea helps, but still. Grrrr...

2.) It's really hard to cook for him. I enjoy cooking for him, and now there are limits...no chocolate, no tomatoes, nothing spicy, nothing nothing nothing.

But since it's really not all about me, he DID get an official diagnosis of ensophogitis today. I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, and I don't want to know, because when you say it out loud it sounds dirty. I am glad for this diagnosis because we can mark various forms of cancer off our list of what was causing his issues. Also, he is apprently prone to some sort of ulceritis (another very dirty sounding word) disease. The various biopsies came out good, so that's the important thing to remember.

We did have a long conversation on the way home from his procedure last week, albeit he was slightly stoned from the versed and twilighting drugs. I cannot understand how his cholesterol is as high as it it, AND he's having digestion issues. We do NOT eat anything out of a box, save rice and cereal. I prepare fresh, mostly clean meals that are typicaly dairy and egg free. I put flasxeed and wheat germ in our food whenever I can mask it good enough. I am following all the nutrition rules. I also found it necessary to point out on said car ride home, that maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't be putting 'flaming hot sauce' on every bite of food we eat.

John, for his part follows rules too. He eats oatmeal for breakfast, especially after a good work out. He WORKS OUT, fairly religiously alternating between cardio and a good weight training regimen. He's in good shape, hates greasy food, won't touch anything fried and has a hard time even SAYING mayonnaise, much less putting it past his lips.

So his issues are not my fault. They are not his fault. I think we can blame faulty genetics (high cholesterol runs in the family), but mostly I blame his stress. He is stressed about work, or has been for a while, and he does an okay job of keeping it in check where we're concerned, working out to get his frustrations out, etc., but stress has clearly altered his body and given him some warning signs.

He's too young for this crap, and I know him, and I know he will be pissed if he has to take any form of medication on a long term basis for any reason. It was hard enough getting him to the doctor earlier this month to treat his bronchitis with a 10 day antiobiotic and an inhaler (which, being an asthmatic, he probably should have anyways). He's also pretty pissed about having to take an antacid everyday for the next 2 weeks until he has his follow up appt. with his doc.

I'm looking for good ideas to keep things low stress, but it's hard, so any ideas are welcome.

And in case you're wondering, I finished my crossword while he was under the scope. It was a welcome break in a crazy day.

The "Good" Crusty Bread Story

2010-10-03T13:08:00.002-05:00

I love my husband. I really do. But there are A LOT of things we just cannot manage to see eye to eye on, and I just don't get him. Number one, I have decided that I'm making soup or Chili every cold yucky Sunday that I can. Last week, vegetable beef, this week, Chicken and rice (I'd do chicken noodle, but do you know how hard it is to find noodles not made with eggs?). He cannot understand how I can turn soup into a whole meal. Soup is not a meal to him, it's a side dish. Well, eat more than one bowl, it's a meal. And it's healthy and clean and dairy free and almost edible for him on this new WHACK EGD diet thingy we have to endure for 8 weeks.

I will digress from the point of my real story to relay to you the following: Yesterday we got into a small argument because I saw a big semi truck with a sign that says, "Caution, Makes Wide Right Turns" and I had him explain what made the right turns any wider than the left. And he threw out some things about simple physics about how you have a whole lane of traffic to go around when turning left but right turns are always more sharper. Which I suppose I get, but being that the truck is the SAME size whether it's turning right or left, wouldn't, technically, the width of the turn be the same, you just have more room to do it to the left? This is one of those things where he just doens't quite 'get me' because 1 +1 always equals 2 for him, but not always for me. I am right brained. He is not. He is a logical thinker planner, and I am not. And I still do not understand how a truck goes wider turning left than right.

Back to my soupiness. I am making soup today, but I needed a chicken, so whilst I took the kids to church, I had him run to the grocery store. All I wanted was a chicken, and some good crusty bread to go with the soup.

He has never heard of crusty bread. (I have nothing to add to this.)

I wrote on the list, "crusty bread", and proceeded to tell him I wanted "good" crusty bread, from the bakery shelves, not the same old French Loaves that are always out. I informed him there is a sign that tells you this is "Crusty Bread".

Apparently he saw the sign. It just said "crusty bread' but it did not say "good crusty bread". So he asked the ladies at the store where they kept their 'Good Crusty Bread" because that is what his wife wants. After they laughed at him, they showed him to the crusty bread, and he brought home exactly what I wanted.

And tonight's dinner will be soup and GOOD CRUSTY BREAD!

And Cue the Bad Teeth Dreams

2010-09-27T23:10:00.002-05:00

I have nightmares, on a pretty regular basis. I will confess now that it is waaaay past my bedtime, and I can't sleep because of these horrific nightmares. About my teeth. I have dreams that my teeth fall out, get chipped, cracked, need braces, and last night, my tooth just fell out in two pieces and left an exposed nerve. I don't know WHY I have weird teeth dreams and I really wish Dr. Freud could tell me. I don't even have bad teeth. I had braces, and get them cleaned every six months, without fillings (except when I was pregnant and that does not count). I really want the teeth nightmares to go away.

Add to this the stress that as if cooking for my family isn't hard enough, John had his yearly physical today (and only because he gets money for it from his company because he won't go to the doctor ever unless I pitch a fit) and because he's been having these GERD type issues needs to have some testing done and is on a restricted diet for EIGHT WEEKS. No coffee, no chocolate, no spicy (not a problem here, really), no tomatoes, or other acidic foods, no chocolate. Basically he can eat meat, and probably milky, creamy, cheesy dishes that I can't make anyway for a family meal because Jack can't eat it. So now what? Cheerios and Wheaties every day and night? He also needs to cut his sugar intake because his blood glucose levels are borderline prediabetic, which makes no sense to me because he is in great shape, works out all the time, and is no where near the obese/risk group category. Add to the fact that his diet is ridiculously healthy and for the most part CLEAN and organic and really I'm not sure what else I can do.

On an unrelated yet equally interesting in the "My Life is Fascinating" category (tongue in cheek people!) I got some interesting info from Nate's OT last week. A couple of Fridays ago I popped my head in his classroom while I was Mommy Helper and noticed he had trouble looking to the left and copying words down in his journal, so his teacher moved him right in front of the board while the other kids played and he was fine.

I should mention here that a few days after this, on Monday, we had an evening music program put together by the high school kids. Think big crowd, lots of instruments (VERY well run and organized, by the way) and a lot of auditory and visual processing that needed to be done, and you have a Nate meltdown. Literally crumpling up on the gym floor in tears because he couldn't take it all in. Thank God my very good friend was there with her OT ambulance that doubles as a minivan to transport her kids around in, throw in some chewing gum and a round of brushing protocol, and Nate was good to go, but I was heartbroken. That crumpling was very hard to watch.

Fast forward to last Wednesday. He had his eye doctor appointment mandated by the state and has 20\20 vision. Yay. However I told his OT what happened in school, so she put him on a platform swing standing and moving side to side. She had beanbags which spelled out the letters of shapes, and while he was swinging she put the bags to his right, and had him read out the letters. He did okay. Now switch to the left side. He couldn't do it. Did not know what the letters where. This signals some sort of processing deficit on his left side, and we are not sure if this is reflective of his ATNR not diminishing enough http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ATNR(EVERY BABY has an ATNR, but it diminishes at different rates), or if something else is going on. I do know that once he got he sensory system organized in OT on Wednesday, he was able to talk to his speechie about our trip to Disney. A Year and a half ago. It took that long to process it and come out in a normal 5 year old conversation. She said she knew more about our trip last week than she did 5 minutes after we got back. She made note that when he is organized enough in his body, all of the oral motor and speech issues are secondary and he is stimulable and does really well with all of his articulation issues.

Our OT also gave us more 'homework". Because Nate has been stripping when he comes home from school and physically craving the electronic downtime of Wii, she thinks he can hold it together in school just long enough, so that when he gets home, he cannot stand to have anything touching him and have to process THAT. So we are back to brushing. And we do music therapy, and our "starfish" exercise that takes him through his PNF patterns http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/PNF to get his neurons all fired up and ready for school. It all seems to be working though...at soccer on Thursday he was EN FUEGO and scored 4 goals. He had to be taken out and made "goalie" even though they don't have a goalie for 5 year olds just so that he couldn't score on the other team but would still be able to say he had game time.

I suppose all this hard work is paying off. Jack came home with LOADS of work to do because he is too distracted to do it in class and in doing it got half the math problems wrong, which Nate was more than happy to answer for him. Nate's a smart kid, and with all of the help he's getting he is able to show people now. So I guess I feel good about that.

Now I need to start focusing more on Jack I suppose and figure out why he is destroying pencils by using his scissors to mangle them into weapons during class instead of getting his work done. I'm sure he could use a little OT too. They're like modern day Annie Sullivans, I swear.

Maybe one of them could cure my teeth nightmare dilemma.

Recipe of the Week

2010-09-27T23:07:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to post this forever because I think it's HIGH larious. I make meals for people at church, and try my best to make them healthy. Last week I made crockpot beef sandwiches (yum) , special potatoes, and for dessert...well....

I got a lovely thank you note. And then she asked for my dessert recipe because it was so delicious. I am almost too embarrassed but here it is:

2 gigantor scoops of Silk French vanilla Yogurt.
Top with fresh frozen fruit, berries are preferable.

Enjoy.

Thinking out Loud

2010-09-22T10:58:00.002-05:00

I have so many things to blog about, I don't know where to begin. So I suppose I will just get carpal tunnel in a stream of consiousness.

Soccer:
Nate is freaking awesome. Here's how it works. He has a 1/2 hour practice, then a half hour game. He's team blue. Here's how it works (underline, highlight etc): EVERYBODY WINS! YEAY! Except when you play agains Nate because he is so super competitive, he keeps score and trash talks the other team. I find it difficult to put a stop to that kind of enthusiasm, because it's not like I'm the one yelling, "Yah! We're gonna crush them dad! 6 to 4....they better not get any more goals!". John of course loves it, because when Jack was this age he was more or less socializing with the other team, "Hey dude, nice kick!", or "Wow, you got a goal!", or "You're a fast runner, you got right past me!" Now of course Jack does a-okay for himself, but it has taken a while to get there.

Fundraisers:
Going on right now, my THREE children are involved in no less than FOUR concurrent fundraisers, and so my remedy for this was to THROW AWAY ALL THE "BUY OUR AWESOME PRODUCT' forms. Tomorrow is some sort of 'how many laps can you run' derby at the boys' school, but who the hell is supposed to give them money? Me? Uh, I pay taxes and buy your school supplies so uh, no. The neighbors? Might've worked if their kids weren't doing the same exact stuff. Grandparents? My parents have decided to vacation in Florida for 2 weeks, so, uh, no. Maybe if all of these fundraisers didn't happen all at once at the beginning of the school year when I'm trying to organize everything else, it wouldn't be so bad. But it is, and so we will not particpate in any of them. You can only ask people for money so much, and then it becomes a headache.

Running:
I have decided to run a 10k this weekend. It's a great cause: www.bearnecessities.org
but my last 10k didn't go so very well. True, at that point I had swum a mile, ridden my bike in the Omahanian mountains for 26 miles and then was running the 10k but still. Should be interesting at the very least.

Schedules:
I'd love to write more, but I have to pick up Nate from school Stupid 11:14 school dismissal!

Your Recipe of the Week

2010-09-16T07:21:00.003-05:00

I've decided that I'm going to try a new dairy free adventure at least once a week to replace our old standbys, or at least shake things up a bit. Knowing me this resolution will last another 2 days, but at least I started out trying. The recipe will appear on different days of different weeks, depending on our crazy ass sports schedule and everything else we've got going on.

This is what I made for dinner last night. I've made this before, just not dairy free. It turned out well, except my kids thought the onions were worms.

Cube Steak Yummy Bake

Ingredients:

Flour 1/2 c
seasoned salt 1t.
ground black pepper 1/4 t (although I never measure. Eyeball it to taste).
garlic powder 1/4 t.
Cube steak 3lbs (I used 4 'patties' for our family and there are no leftovers)
veg. oil 1T
Cream of mushroom soup 1 can (RECIPE FOR DAIRY FREE FOLLOWS)
Beef Broth 1 can or 2 cubes of make your own w/Bouillon. (to be honest here, I only had 1 beef cube and 1 chicken cube and it turned out just fine).
1 onion sliced into rings
non dairy butter substitute: 1/4 cub (melted)
Dried bread product 3 C (the recipe calls for dried pieces of bread cubed. I used croutons because that's what I had, and they add a little more flavor).
a dash of wheat germ
a dash of flax seed

Mix flour, salt, pepper, garlic powder, wheat germ and flax seed in a shallow dish. Coat the meat with flour and lightly brown (less than 5 m. per side) the meat in oil. Place the meat in a 9x13 in dish when done (it helps to use a foil pan). When all the meat is brown, add the cream of mush soup, 1 c of broth and the onion to the remaining flour and mix well. pour this mix into the skillet scraping up all the browned bits to create a delish sauce. Heat until simmering, and then pour over the meat in the baking dish. In a bowl, combine the rest of the broth, the butter and the bread crumbs. Put over the steaks. Bake at 350 for an hour or so.

Now for the Cream of Mushroom Soup recipe

In a pan, combine 1 and 1/4 cup of milk substitute ( I actually used soy milk coffee creamer, and it was a little bit sweeter and delish)
2 T flour
1 T cornstarch
1 T veg. oil
1 tsp. salt
1/8 t. onion powder
dash or more of garlic powder
mushrooms (you can use canned but I preferred to use a container of fresh. It was a lot of shrooms, but for the aforementioned recipe it worked out great).

In a saucepan, whisk the milk, flour, cornstarch, oil, salt, onion and garlic powders until smooth. Stir in the shrooms, whisk continuously over med. heat for about 10 min., or until thickened.

Waxing Philosophical....and some 9/11 Bidness

2010-09-12T15:21:00.003-05:00

The following pictures are from our apple picking excursion on Labor Day. The kids had some fun picking the apples off the trees, although Nate just picked them and threw them back on the ground as hard as he could. However, what they really wanted to do was run wild in the park the apple place has on the premises. Fine. We did wind up leaving earlier than expected though, because all I wanted was a photo with my kids and they all ran away. It hurt my feelings and John got super pissed and wouldn't even take them out for the free lunches they've earned from the library reading program. That's hardcore.

This isn't just a pose for the camera. He's always like this. He's my biggest kid, hands down.

Inspection for imperfection. There were a lot of freshly picked apples that did not make Nate's cut. He has really high standards.
These two yahoos were just having some fun.

I'm sharing this because I need to talk about how much I hate GOATS. I think they smell. I think they're nasty. I got photos of 2 of them headbutting each other. And Nate wanted to feed them. One kernel of 25 cent goodness at a time. Really, look.

If this winds up being the Christmas card you get, act surprised. They are all almost looking at the camera. And smiling. And looking like they like each other. It was a moment.

So now on to 9/11. Pastor at church today was talking about it during his sermon, and so I sent Jack into the 'nursery'. He's really too old to be in there, but he didn't question me on it even though I am pretty strict about having him sit with me through the sermon. He even took communion with me last week. All he said was, "Pastor David's talking about some pretty grown up stuff, huh?" And I just said, "yes".

I still haven't figured out if I haven't discussed 9/11 for selfish reasons or for REALLY selfish reasons. I think history is important, and I will teach my kids. But if you know Jack, he will perseverate on an idea to the point where you want to gouge your eyeballs with toothpicks and I just can't do this with him yet when it comes to 9/11. That would be my selfish reason for not bringing it up AT ALL yesterday with the kids. Of course I prayed and meditated on it myself, but the kids didn't know anything happened until they heard a very age appropriate story during children's time at church. He hasn't asked about it yet, but the day is still young.

My VERY selfish reason for not discussing it? Because there is a part of me that wants to preserve that innocence in all my kids for as long as I can. They know that there are 'bad guys' out there, but why should I have to delve into how very bad those bad guys are? They still believe in Santa and the tooth fairy and why not? Their little worlds will crumble soon enough, so as long as I can I want them to learn about the good in the world.

Let them see their parents do good.

Let them learn to do good and right by others.

Let them believe in magic and miracles for as long as they can.

Because at the end of the day it is a scary, savage world out there. There are bad guys out there who can and have harmed children.

I want to protect them for as long as I can from even the thoughts of how bad it can be.

Because maybe, just maybe, if they see enough good, if they hear enough good, and if they surround themselves with others who can and do believe in magic and miracles maybe there is hope for their generation to effect change in the hearts of men.

Let their sweetness and innocence be preserved a little longer.

And in the meantime, let the rest of us not forget how very fragile the balance is between innocence and the loss thereof.

The Poop Contest

2010-09-06T08:11:00.002-05:00

Shield your eyes if you are squeamish. This one's a goody.

Yesterday we were driving home from Brycie Boo's 2nd birthday. Nate was in the back half asleep, and I don't WANT him asleep because we were at a place called Germ Zone. Or Jump Zone, I get confused. Either way, all 3 of my darlings needed to bathe, thus I decided to regale him with stories of how I was going to eat his Halloween candy. Oh yes I did.

Then, because the child is now FULLY awake, he decides to segue somehow from eating all of his Reese's (which his father can have because I don't like peanut butter and chocolate mixed together, it's just WRONG. Wrong like Neopolitan ice cream, but that's another story altogether), Nate decides that we are going to have a POOP CONTEST.

He laid out the rules. Basically, you have to poop on a plate. If you have the biggest poop, you win a prize. If you have the smelliest poop, you win a prize. Your coveted prize? A sock. Not a pair. Just. a. sock.

I can't help wondering if he translates this to creative writing if he'll get in trouble, or if his teacher will someday appreciate the thought that went into this idea.

I also can't help wondering why my kids are so gross and where I went wrong.......

Nate's Deep Dark Secret

2010-09-01T09:01:00.002-05:00

Last night John came to bed explaing he had uncovered Nate's deep dark secret. Had I known a 5 year old could have a deep dark secret I may have been a little more wary.

Apparently, John found Nate's pillow. Soaking wet. They had a brief conversation.
"Nate, why is your pillow all wet?"

"Because I had to wash it."

"Why did you have to wash your pillow?"

"Well, because I went into your bathroom and when I sat on my pillow to put my pants back on (he likes to do his #2 business nekkid), I accidentally wiped my butt with my pillow. So I washed it."

"You "accidentally" wiped your butt with your pillow?"

"Yes, but it's okay because I got it all off!"

He was so proud of himself and his initiative. I for one, didn't even know we had a pillow wiping butt incident in the house.

Said pillow is now in the washing machine.

Oh What to Do With all My Time?

2010-08-31T12:32:00.004-05:00

The first day of school started officially last week, but since I've had nothing to do in my downtime since then besides sit on my butt and watch Oprah I haven't had time to blog. I mean really, those of us that stay home and don't work really don't have anything to complain about.

Here's Jack, SOOOO proud to be a second grader. I for one, cannot believe he is a second grader. Too big too soon. That's all there is to it. At parent orientation night at the school, I made it a point to introduce this little demon in disguise to the principal. I thought it the most prudent solution to our future problems.

She wants to go so bad. Not til next week baby,not until next week.

Next year at school this trio will be a sign of trouble.

So, why all the sarcasm earlier? Well, I just HATE when it is insinuated that I do NOTHING all day because I don't physically get out the door and head to a job on a daily basis, I have CHOSEN to be the mom who is up at the school all the time, right?

http://www.momontherocks.com/2010/04/sucka.html (please be warned that you will laugh so hard you'll wet yourself, I told you so!)

Contrary to popular belief, just because I am home doesn't mean I have all this crazy wild fun free time at my fingertips. Sure there is a bit of downtime, like right now, but I can't be on top of the kids all the time. I find that exhausting and unnecessary.

So, on a daily basis, we are out the door by 8 (especially if we are walking the mile to school) to be there by 8:30 (usually I am pulling Maddie in a wagon). Then there's the walk home. Then maybe we have some time for errands, or a trip to the library, but we have to start walking back to the school by 10:40 to get Nate by 11:14 (He enjoys riding his bike, and if you've ever ridden or walked a mile with a 4 year old on training wheels, it really does take that long.) So to sum up, I have a one hour and 40 minute window, which will close significantly next week when my runs look like this:

Big kids to school by 8:30

Maddie to school by 9

Pick up Nate by 11:14

Pick up Maddie by 11:30

Drive the 15 minutes home

Lunch

Pick up big kids by 2:30 (which, again if we walk or ride bikes means we leave around 2)

Wednesdays I have to have Nate at speech an OT by 1. We are done at 2:45, so I get to rush home because Jack gets out of school at 2:30.

Thank God for good neighbors.

Then let's add in Gymnastics for Maddie, Swim lessons, soccer practices and games for the boys (I really do only allow one activity at a time, and I don't count swimming as a sporting activity. My brother drowned at the age of 3 so I consider swimming lessons more of a life skill), AND all of my fabulous volunteer work and committee meetings.

I DO happen to volunteer on morning a week in Nate's class, and one morning a week in Jack's. With 30 + kids in the classrooms with no aids I feel it's more of a duty than a calling to volunteer.

I also somehow got roped into being the assemblies chairperson for the PTO this year, so I get to plan that.

Can't forget Boy Scouts either.

Hmmm... Then I'm teaching Sunday School, and on at least one committee for church, not to mention the parent group that meets once a month for "purposeful fellowship".

Oh, and then there's the preschool board I serve on as well.

AND to top it all off, I do have to work at least one day a week, mostly just to pay for all of my kids' activities and other interests.

At some point in there I have to throw in a workout or risk qualifying for the need to be institutionalized. Because, as every mom knows there is that which still must be completed on a daily basis, such as laundry, meals, laundry, more meals, bed making, homework doing, reading, showering, laundry, snacks, more meal planning, vacuuming, dishwashering (because at any given point you are always loading or unloading it, right?), grocery shopping, making lunches and packing snacks, (can you tell my kids have been eating me out of house and home lately?), playing Monopoly Jr. ad nauseum, and general daily living...in general.

Don't get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. In fact, I like being busy. I like being an active participant in my children's lives. I do NOT like when people think that I don't do anything because I don't "work", which technically I do, one day a week. And the other 2 mornings are spent in classrooms helping 'teach' kindergartners and 2nd graders.

I love doing what I'm doing. I feel fulfilled and satisfied and happily exhausted at the end of a day. I sleep really really well, and then get up the next day and start the grind again. And it is so so good to be able to do so. So, so good.

Happy Birthday Maddie!

2010-08-24T06:53:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I've been a bit behind with writing about you on your birthday since it was a good week and 2 days ago. But, to be fair to me, our home was hit by the plague, and I was busy cleaning up EVERYONE'S (except my own, because I only got a mild form of the plague) vomit. Our house has been Lysoled, bleached, wiped, rubbed, scrubbed, and the carpets shampooed, so we should be good now.

Moving on, we had a special visitor for your birthday. We have you kids call her Grandma Mae. Mae is an old friend of the family. She was my Aunt's Godmother, and my aunt was the same age as my mom. Mae is 89 and for lack of better wording, pretty badass. She is as sharp as a Rambo knife, and would ask me questions about my taxes and how we bought our house and finances, and so I told her to ask John who is an accountant and handles all that, to that got the reply, "Oh No, he'll just think I'm a nosy old bitch!". I had to do a double take on the language thing, but got over it, because Mae's favorite phrases are, "You're damn right", and "This is damn good wine". And yes, she enjoys her Catawba wine, which I couldn't find anywhere, and when I finally did it suited her, as it was pink, and fruity, and delicate.

This picutre makes Opa look like Gulliver. You'll understand the reference someday.

More on Mae. She walks 3 miles a day. She doesn't like to baby herself. She traveled from Oma and Opa's to Canada, all on her own, and she read the Business and Money sections from the nespaper everyday. She ate dinner at our house and helped with the dishes. I want to be like her when I'm 89. Here's your cake! You helped decorate it, but I should note you wanted nothing but CHOCOLATE. This is a chocolate cake, complete with TWO cans of frosting. You LOVED it!

Oh you beautiful little four year old.

This is such a nice picture of you and daddy I HAD to include it. He still doesn't think you look like him. I'm thinking he needs his eyes checked. I think I may just have to print this and frame it. I like it that much.

You enjoyed some pool time on your day. It was hot, hot hot!!!!

Okay, I know it's YOUR birthday Maddie, but I had to put Jack's picture in. He was wearing long sleeves and pants all day because he got stung by a bee in church and was tramatized beyond belief. I'm still not sure he's recovered.

And so begins another year for you. You are the most amazingly independent four year old ever, and you hold your own with "The Brothers". You want to do everything by yourself. EVERYTHING. Even things you shouldn't, but I let you do do everything that I find acceptably appropriate, even though it kills me that you want to grow up so quickly. You want to be in school RIGHT NOW because the boys are. I love at night when you get a book that we've read a few times, (Like Green Eggs and Ham) and you 'read' it to me. You are a good reader!

I love when you disappear upstairs and put on your music and sing and dance to yourself because you think no one is looking, or nobody can hear you. But we can, and it's really just very sweet. And cute. You got all these crazy Zhu Zhu pets and Little Pet Shop toys for your birthday because you LOVE your pets. You love animals and we can't have real ones here. Sorry about that.

I'm excited for you as a four year old. You're going to grow up so much and learn so many things. I'm so proud of you all the time, even when you are pouting and putting your foot down, because you are asserting your independence in your tiny whirlwind of a way.

I'm so thankful that you are my daughter, because as I like to tell you, you're my favorite daughter in the whole wide world!

Photos of the Omaha Tri

2010-08-13T13:04:00.000-05:00

I don't know who the lady in the green bathing suit is crossing the finish line, but she is not me. The other pics are me though.

brightroom event photography

A Totally Made Up Recipe

2010-08-13T08:24:00.002-05:00

Not that many of you have to eat dairy free, but I thought I'd share my newest latest and greatest made up lasagna recipe. Amounts are approximated because in cooking I never measure. Baking, yes. Cooking no. Also, if you love the nectar of a lactating cow, you could try this without the dairy free option.

Cut up an eggplant into circles. Put them on a baking sheet covered with foil that you have sprayed down. Spray the eggplant or sprinkle some olive oil on them. Roast in a 425 degree oven for 15 minutes.

While that's happening, combine some vegan cream cheese (oh, about 1/2 a tub worth) with about 1/2 a bag of rice shreds (mozzarella flavor).

Spray an 8x8 pan. Or douse it with some olive oil. Spread some sauce on the bottom. (I cheated and used some storebought, usually I make my own, but I didn't have time, and John had already bought and opened it and I wanted to jar in recycling the next day.)

Take the Eggplant out of the oven and fold up the foil so that it steams tender for 15 min.

Layer your noodles, followed by eggplant, followed by 'cheese' . Repeat. Cover with sauce. Cover with foil. Bake in your preheated oven for 45 minutes. Remove foil. Top with Vegan Mozzarella slices (they melt better on the top than the shreds). Cook for 5 minutes (don't wait for it to get too melty/ooey gooey like regular cheese. Aint gonna happen). Let stand for 10 minutes and then watch your children devour a healthy meal for once.

Do happy dance that you finally found something the WHOLE family will eat without complaining.

Make sure you lie to small children when they sniff out eggplant and say "What is THIS?" by telling them its burnt noodles and grandpa's favorite.

Shoot Fly! Don Bodder Me!

2010-08-11T09:08:00.003-05:00

Maybe I can put her on "America's Got Talent". She loves to sing. She loves her birthday present from her Oma and Opa. She just disappears sometimes to put on music and sing. Although she gets embarrassed when someone is watching, it's still cute. So, Shoot Fly! Don't Bodder Me, I belong to Sun Buddy!

More Kentucky

2010-08-11T08:02:00.009-05:00

In talking with my Grandmother, who is in the hospital again, I realized I haven't finished posting on Kentucky because she asked if I had gotten my pics developed yet. Uh...that would be a negative, because I took close to 700 pictures. I'm going to have to wait for a Snapfish deal to develop them all for one cent a piece, otherwise, they stay in my Picassa on line album.

Also, because I have to outsource even my blog design because I'm a techie flunkie, these aren't in order by day, but you get the idea with how much fun we had.

This is at the Moutardier marina. That's pronounced, "Moot Deer", or "Moody Deer" depending on which local you talk to. This is John in his happy place, before Maddie hooked her foot. She survived and went on to catch a 2 inch whopper of a Large Mouth Bass. Again, prehooking. Love the Glasses? It's Daddy Law you MUST wear protective eyewear. That said, Nate lost his in the lake within the first half hour. Which reminds me...Opa, I believe you got those for him. Can you 'relocate' another pair?

Check it out. He's so proud. It's a HUGE fish.

Jack REALLY liked fishing. He caught at least four. I think.

Okay, so after we left Mammoth Cave to get to our cottage, we had to cross the Green River via Ferry. We did not know this until we were there. Also, the GRF holds 3 cars, but luckily there was not a lot of traffic.

This is the view out the back window.

When we pulled up and saw the sign we followed directions.

This is a photo from one of the caves; Diamond Caverns. I don't have a lot of Cave photos because it's hard to take pics in a dark tunnel, but this was so cool. It's an altar where people would get married. They were probably hippies looking for something wavy gravy, but it's still a neat concept.

This is the crew inside Mammoth Cave. They really couldn't move because the shutter speed had to go so slow. They weren't happy about it either.

Okay, so, this is Wigwam Village.

Which is really a bunch of concrete tents with toilets and showers. The kids thought it was cool though. Also, we ran into people that live about 10 minutes from us in the next town North. They had based their entire vaca on this place (I found it sufficient to sleep there one night just to say we did it). Apparently, there was something on the travel channel about this place. Who knew?

Kentucky Sunset.

At the National Park there are a lot of wild turkeys, I'm guessing that's the where the name for the booze came from.

The view looking up as we entered a cave.

There's a cave called "The Lost River". You ride a boat and take a tour. You have to duck really low too, because the ceiling comes down so freakishly low. It's a little frightening.
This cave was also a bar in the 30's because it was cool and air conditioned.

Here is Nate doing his dirty work. Trying to kill all the the bugs on the Nature Trail at Lincoln's birth home.

Here's the gang looking at where Honest Abe probably took his first drink of water, it's called Sinking Springs.

A Trail at Lincoln's Birth Home. Where's Nate? Oh...killing bugs and pouting because he doesn't want to go on the .3mile hike.

Look close. It is a beetle getting eaten by ants. Nate's favorite moment of the whole vacation.

They look thrilled to be on a hike with their mother, don't they?

This is at Lincoln's childhood home at Knob Creek. Or, as the locals say, "Crick" which reall confused my kids. This isn't really his home either, it's his neighbor's. And the crick that Abe almost drowned in was all dried out.

This is Jack and Mads literally standing in the crick.

It was a great vacation. I enjoyed it. And John just kept talking about Disney....I think he's ready to go back. Until then, I'm looking at other random sites in random states to go visit. Maybe Savannah one day. Maybe Utah. Maybe Yellowstone. But not the Grand Canyon. We agreed that unti lthere is a guardrail that goes all the way around the canyon Nate is not allowed to go. Never.

The Hills Of Omaha- Lewis and Clark be Damned

2010-08-05T09:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I did it! I did the Inaugural Omaha Olympic Distance Triathlon. That's a 1 mile swim (in Wetsuit Illegal waters, but that's okay because the water was almost 83 degrees), a 26 mile bike up some nice Nebraskan Mountains, and then a 6.2 mile run up some more Nebraskan Mountains. My time wasn't great, but I wasn't doing this for a time. Not to mention, Aunt Flo came to visit, so during my transitions I had to take care of business, if you know what I mean. And that's okay.

If you ask Nate, I ALMOST came in first, but my shoe came untied, and I had to fix it, so then really I came in second. Too bad those first place finishers finished about an hour and a half before I did, but who's keeping track? And I know right now you are questioning my references to the mountains of Nebraska. Lewis and Clark were wrong. It is not flat, corn land. It is hilly, hilly hilly. So hilly that I was trudging up the mountain thinking of analogies such as: Water is to Wet as Omaha is to Hilly. I was hoofing at 5 miles per hour to get up the hill, and then coasted at 35 miles per hour going down. Julz got off her bike and walked it up faster than she was riding. Do you get where I'm going here? It was HARD. HARD. HARD! My friends decided they don't want to do an Olympic distance race again. I'm not sold on that theory, but if I do another race like this again, it will be done on a flat course. Somewhere closer to home, just so I could shave about a half hour off my time and think I'm too incredibly awesome for words.

When I was starting the run, (the run start pretty much consisted of running up a pitted dirt hill and then trail running for a 1/4 of a mile) I saw some dude getting taken away on a stretcher. He didn't finish, and the medics were asking if he was having chest pains. That is the point of my story where I decided and said aloud, "Awww HELL to the NO! That right there is BULLSHIT! I am NOT going to die on a mountain in Omaha". And so I walked up the hill. And I continued on the run/walk plan, especially when required to go uphill. And you know what? I finished, and did waaaay better than that dude in an ambulance, or all those 'elites' in the med tent getting pumped full of IV fluids. I enjoyed my day, and for that alone I was a winner.

After the race we got to shower and meet up at Leslie's (www.momontherocks.com). She was so awesome and had pizza and snacky snacks and invited a new friend over who just happens to make cakes just for fun and who had made a special triathlon cake with pretty pink frosting that tasted like a piece of heaven. Leslie can make friends anywhere, and her massage therapist also came over to join the party. And give us massages. As I was working on an overused knee injury and my legs are still pretty pissed at me, I just had her work my back. She beat the hell out of me, but it was a good hurt, and I think that's how a normal persons muscles are supposed to feel. I think. We also watched Hot Tub Time Machine. I'm not sure if we were on an adrenaline high or crash or slap happy because we were up at 3:30 a.m., but that is one funny movie. I promise to watch it again.

It was a fun weekend. The hospitality at Julz's home couldn't have been better, and she is such an inspiration when it comes to doing these races. These ladies are amazing because the DO make friends everywhere, which is a special gift. They know how to have fun, and hold each other up at the same time, and I am priveliged to be in their inner circle.

I'm just not sure about doing the Omaha tri again.....

Tackling The Omaha Triathlon

2010-07-30T10:40:00.001-05:00

Click this link:

Tackling The Omaha Triathlon

My girlfriends are officially famous. I have a lot to live up to this weekend!

Off to Kentucky

2010-07-29T09:05:00.002-05:00

I'm only going to be able to post a few day by days about Kentucky because, see, I'm leaving my family tomorrow. Only for a weekend, but I'm leaving them nonetheless. I'm heading to Omaha to do an Olympic Distance Tri, so as excited as you will be for all of my KY breakdown, you may have to wait a few days. Just so's we're all together on this, an Olympic Distance is a 1 mile swim, 24 mile bike, and a 6 mile run. After the race there is a post party (after you've had time to nap of course, since the race starts at 6 a.m., and the party starts at 5 p.m.) If you want to read more in a very articulate fashion about tris, go visit Leslie at www.momontherocks.com

Our first day in Kentucky was spent in Louisville. We visited the baseball bat museum, Churchill Downs, and took in a triple A minor league game. Very much fun. This is a beautiful stadium by the way. The kids had told John while we were driving that they didn't want to go to a baseball game because "Mom doesn't let us have any good snacks". WHAT THE????? So I made it a point to get some cool mom points. Sure it was 100 degrees and humid. But they got their cotton candy.

The Museum and Factory store are so cool. You can't take pics on the actual tour because we could have been spies for Rawling's. I don't really understand the concept of that, since everything is done by a computer calibrated machine and aren't those all the same, really? We DID get to see Derek Jeter's bats being made, so that was pretty cool.

Of course we had to visit our Sista's in Skirts. John is terrible with the camera. He always covers the flash with his hands, but you get the idea. As the trip went on he got slightly better at it.

Did you know that in the majors the team covers the cost of your bat, but in the minors you pay your own way? Interesting fact.

Here are some things I learned about Kentucky. The people there are very nice. They really are. But if you want to live there, you have to take up a 2 pack a day smoking habit and get tatooed. I'm not talking about cute or symbolic tatooes either. I'm talking you need the confederate flag pasted somewhere conspicuously on your body. I think it's slightly racist, but hey, when in Rome, right? Also, if you're a lady, none of those little hearts or butterflies or what have you. You need 8x10 portraits on both thighs. It doesn't matter of who. Or maybe it does. I think one of your tatooes has to be of Jesus.

And when you are driving in the south, there are bilboards everywhere, reminding you that "Jesus Saves" and God is Watching. I'm not the greatest driver to begin with, but thoughts like that are slightly nervewracking.

More tomorrow on our awesome trip. Maybe. I've got to start getting my things together for my big trip.

A Good Friend

2010-07-16T17:45:00.001-05:00

Will send you this in an e-mail, and an even better friend (moi) won't even get mad. In fact, I just laughed. Out loud.:

Want to come over for a BBQ tonight? We are serving grilled metal balls with coin salad and multi-colored marbles for dessert.

When You Would Just Rather Not Know

2010-07-16T07:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was getting the kids packed and ready for our Kentucky adventure (oooohhhh....caving! and baseball bat museums), when Maddie totally threw her brother under the bus. She informed us that Nate swallowed a metal ball from his "Bull's Eye" game.

http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-41033-Bulls-Eye-Ball/dp/B00008MIHM

But it was a looooong time ago. Uh, he's owned this thing for less than a month, so define a loooong time ago? We interrogated Nate, who owned up to swallowing said metallic magnetic ball a while ago, but he doesn't know when. So I'm thinking "Crap, what to do?"

John wants me to call SuperNurse Karin. You know he's worried when he wants me to call on another for help. Especially a medical professional. So I call her, and before I'm done even explaining we have this little exchange:

"A metal ball? Which one of yo.....Never mind. I know it was Nate."

"REally, how did you know?"

"Girl, that kid, I'm tellin' ya. I SWEAR he wasn't dropped on his head at birth. I was there. I made sure of it".

And at this point I'm thinking that a drop on the noggin may have helped. But, I digress. So SuperNurse Karin suggests that I call the company that makes the game, and then poison control. It's after 5, so I have no hopes of calling a toy company and not talking in discernible English to someone about my problem, so I called poison control.

THE WOMAN AT POISON CONTROL WAS LAUGHING AT ME. I'm not even kidding. Here's how that convo went down.

"Hello, this is poison control. Lucy speaking" (I made that name up).

Hi Luce. I sort of have a problem, but not really, I don't think, and I was wondering I guess if maybe you could help me.

"Uh, Okay."

See, my son swallowed a metal ball from this game. It's about the size of a Hungry Hippo ball, but it's metal. And magnetic.

"Ohhhhhh Kay. I see. And how old is your son?"

He's FIVE Lucy! Can you believe this? He's totally old enough not to be doing this crap.

"Well, I don't think these toys are toxic, so you don't have to worry about any metal leakage. Most often these things pass right thru the system. When did you say he swallowed it?"

Well, Lucy, that's just the thing, see. I'm mother of the year, and I have no freaking idea. His little sister just threw him under the bus, tattled on him and they both decided this was a long time ago. Which in 5 year old terms could have been 5 minutes ago, yesterday, a week ago. Do you see my dilemma Lucy?

Okay, and at this point, I don't think I was worried about the swallowing a toy bit. I think it was the whole not knowing part that was creeping up on me, because what else have these kids digested that I don't even want to know about? And WHY on God's great earth am I spending so much money of food, organic healthy clean food when they eat their frickin' toys?

Lucy asks if Nate is symptomatic with a sore tummy. No, he's eating just fine, and only food for now. So, she suggests calling the doctor today to get a script for an x-ray, and for this I am grateful, because she actually was aware of the ridiculousness that is a modern day ER and since he's not having a bellyache, he's probably fine for now, but we should monitor to make sure this ball is passing on thru. And then she lays the doozy on me.

"Also, you're going to have to check his stool for a few days, these things take between 3 and 5 days to pass."

But we already decided it could have passed, right Lucy?

"Yes, it's possible. Aaaand, what's your name again, ma'am. For our statistics? Also, I'm going to need your number so we can call and check on Nate."

Hah. Funny that. We're going on Vacation, that's why I'm in quasi-panic mode. And really Lucy, if my daughter wasn't mad at her brother, we would never have been having this conversation.

"Yah, well, I need your info just for our statistics." And I heard under her breath (and to inform child protective services because you are a whack job).

So I gave her the info while bemoaning the fact that "Do I REALLY have to go thru his poo?"

Yes, Jennifer you do. You want to make sure it came out, right?

See, Lucy, that's just the thing. At this point I don't even CARE anymore. He's not going to be poisoned, right? I'm just not into this whole putting on a glove and fecal inspection thing.

"We'll call you in a few days ma'm. Just to be sure".

Maybe jail for negligent mommies comes with a padded cell, a margarita, and a good book. We can only hope.

Trek Tri Twenty Ten

2010-07-13T20:11:00.003-05:00

Of course, my photos are out of order. Of course, I don't have any from the race, as they're on my mom and dad's camera. I'll get those up soon enough.

First, I must say that all women should do triathlons with their girlfriends and declare a women's weekend. Second, I must say that right after this race I registered for the Omaha Tri, which is an Olympic distance (1 mile swim, 24 mile bike, 6 mile run) and already I'm kinda crapping myself. My parents have declared that they would come and watch, and I love when they come watch, but I think for the first time I do this distance I need to do it myself so as not to disappoint them. Not that they'd be disappointed, but I'd feel like I let them down if I suck it. And on this note, I have to give props to mom and dad. All my friends envy me because of how cute and supportive they are. I'm proud because everyone around me can see how proud they are of me. So, there that is.

Third, because I must get it out of the way, I have to admit upfront this was not my best race. I disappointed Sally Edwards and myself by not meeting my goal time of 1 hr. 30 minutes, but I have lots of GREAT excuses. Like a wardrobe malfunction on the bike leg. And not feeling well during the run. And watching my heart rate reach a max pace of 205 beats per minute. But those are excuses. Next time....I WILL do better. Although, to be fair to myself, I didn't do too badly, as I placed somewheres in the top 20%.

This is Leslie. Catch her gig at www.momontherocks.com. This is the sign by the lake we swam in. Ironically, it was a beautiful lake to swim in. Except I went crooked and got whistled at to veer right. My mom was watching and intuitively knew it was me and was going to take a picture of the asshole in the green cap who went the wrong way (me) but she didn't. Mother's intuition..... :-) Okay, so this is me and my peeps meeting Sally Edwards. Who is Sally Edwards? Uh, only like a Triathlon GURU!http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sally_Edwards She's done 16 Ironmans. And over 150 Triathlons in general. I can learn something from her, I swear.

Okay, I LOVE this girl. She and I have been online dating for awhile, and we both have boys around the same ages who are pretty much the same personalities. She's a childhood friend of Leslie's (who, by way of explanation is Julianne's bestie in Omaha, who picked me up in the library breastfeeding over 5 years ago. It's complicated, but it all works out). Allison, Yallison, Runner Chick. Her first Tri...She banged it out with a FANTASTIC time, and completed a 25 minute 5 k. She inspires me to do better next time. She's funny, smart, and knows the definition of the word NIBS. She's the kind of persone everyone wants to know, and those of us that do have the privelige are lucky.

This is JulzHolla posing in her cap. She picked me up at the library. And then she moved away. But we've stayed in touched and visited her and then she visited me and now she's a hot tri chick. With hot tri accessories. She's an inspiration.

Soooo...we're girls. And we made a weekend of this tri thingy. Everyone met at my house on Friday. Saturday we went up to Pleasant Prairie and stayed in a hotel and went to a very inspirational seminar and out to lunch and we hung out at our hotel and gave each other tatoos with Sharpies. Leslie looks like she's done this before, though, doesn't she?

This is one of Julz's tats. I love it. I want one on my shoulder. But not a real one, because I'm a wuss. And I don't want a real tatoo ever because it's there forever, and I'm too flaky for something to be around forever. Except my husband and kids. Because I kinda like them, so I wouldn't mind if they stayed around for a while.

This is everyone in transition. We got to talking to this one girl about how she put gels on her bike. The smartest thing ever. This girl put tape on her bike upside down, or sticky side up and stuck some energy gels on it. I am definitely going to have to copy that idea for the Omaha Tri. But she recommended using Gorilla tape, or someting like that and not masking tape. So I will have to ask my dad about his tape supply and know how.

And while I'm here talking about this, I must say this is partly why I do these women Tri's. You talk to people. You get ideas. You learn things. And you also learn to shut people down when you ask about their bike seats and they refer to things like "chafing" and 'callusses' on their lady bits. I'm just saying.

This is Julz on Friday at my house. She wore an awesome black and gold shirt. She's a good friend, a great mom, and a huge inspiration. She also was one of the younger girls on our trip (she's 10 months younger than me) and made us take note. She's a hot mama. With some sweet club moves.

This is the gang. Ashley (who really was the young un at age 24), me, Les, Juz, and Yallison. These ladies are awesome. I love all of them.

This is the girls first arriving. Les took a picture of me taking a picture of her.

I hope I get pics from my mom soon, so as I can tell you all about my wardrobe malfunction and how I felt (and according to Yallison) didn't look so good at the end. My personal issues with my OWN time aside, women's weekends are the bomb. Tri women's weekends just can't be beat. And neither can my friends, and my familial support crew. I suppose I should publicly thank My Hubby for taking care of the kids and just letting me do my thing.

I really do have a great family. And a great support crew. I am so lucky. So, so lucky.

This Nature Thing Is B.S.

2010-07-01T18:56:00.002-05:00

Have you all seen that new REI commercial with the adorable family camping in the woods? Yah. It's crap. I'm the official judge on that. I've decided. For the record, I've TRIED so hard to be the good mom. The involved mom, teaching kids life leasons and how to be good. And I think now it's all crap. Or all about crap anyway.

I get those parent magazines. The ones that talk about helicopter parenting http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent and leaving your kids alone so they can be leaders, and independent, and show the world a thing or two. And by the way, it's GOOD if they're bored, and if you turn off the t.v. to let them get creative. (CRAP)!!!

So I took the boys on a naturey bike ride. Mads was with a girlfriend all day yesterday, so I figure, 'mommy, brothers bonding. sweet'. We rode a few miles and hiked on the forest preserve paths around our area. And my boys appreciated nature on a wholly unexpected level. They YELLED through the foresty trails looking for animal crap, and bounty hunter hideouts. Oh, we got back to nature all right, fighting to find the turds on the trail and having me trying to calmly explain that there are probably no bounty hunters hiding in this forest looking for them.

When I pointed out cool birds, Nate yelled, "I want to kill that bird". When they found sticks they would throw them into the grass trying to spear potential snakes. And I was asked more than once "how do you KNOW what poison Ivy does if you've never touched it ma? Maybe we should try it out?" Sure, guys. Test out the theory, and then get back to me.

Did I have any teachable moments? Maybe it was when the man hiking warned us of the floating 'pods' or plastic bridge in the marsh, saying if we went on it we'd get wet. So of course we had to go on it. And it was ABSOLUTELY hilarious that mommy got her feet soaked and smelled like a marsh, so I guess there was a teachable moment in there somewhere. Like how to run like hell through a floating marsh bridge.

And I know they will never look back and say "our mom did cool shit with us." No, it's going to be all about Daddy and sports. Sigh.....

Crap.

CSA Pickup Number One

2010-06-29T10:52:00.003-05:00

Today was the first day of our CSA (Coomunity Supported Agriculture) pickup. A CSA is basically a share in a local farm. I paid money for the season, and every week I take my new bag and pick up what is in season. I chose to support 2 women with their own business. It's a girl thing. And a great way to learn about sustainability.

This is my new bag full of stuff. Fresh flowers included.
If you recognize any of these herbs please let me know. I'm at a slight loss with what to do with them.

Pretty.

The harvest. Berries, Beets, potatoes, onions, kohlrabi, a fresh head of lettuce, etc.

Look at all those yummy root veggies! Dinner's going to be great!

These are delicious.

Okay, what the hell do you do with a kohlrabi that will make it edible for young kids. HELP!

I also got some fresh dill in today's bag. Anyone have any ideas what I can use that for?

All in all, I'm so happy with the spread for today. It will keep meals interesting this summer, as I'll be receiving fresh produce that I may not have before tried. I feel like I got a lot of food, so economically, to buy organic fresh produce, this makes sense. Send me food ideas. I need them!

Welcome Baby Braden!

2010-06-28T09:10:00.003-05:00

Isn't he just precious?

Friday was a busy day for us. First, my sister decided to go and have her baby 3 weeks early. But she didn't have him at a convenient time for me, which would have been sometime in the afternoon or late morning. No, she decided that 1:04 a.m. was a good time for action. That's okay, I suppose I can forgive her for keeping me awake forever...actually, she didn't, my mom did, and she was supposed to call when he was born, but I didn't get a call and at 3:40 a.m. when I took a bathroom break with no news from anyone I thought something bad had happened, but it didn't because my mom was at home in bed. Is that a run on sentence? I digress.

It IS a good thing this little guy came early. He weighed in at 8 lbs 1 oz. Were he to go full term, he may have been a full blown toddler walking out of the hospital.

We got to go visit yesterday. I didn't get to see him all weekend because John's cousin got married (what was she thinking? Didn't she know my sister had a baby? I can't be in 2 places at once!...kidding....kidding). He's really cute too, and has more hair than my daughter. I don't know what it is with my sister and her kids...that hair thing must be a dominant trait or something because she never birthed a baldy.

This is Nate holding the baby. He LOVED holding the baby. "He's so cute mom!". It was very sweet to see my bull in a china shop boy showing his sweet and tender side, and he really does have a sweet and tender side.

Jack looks ginormous compared to this kid. But you can tell they're cousins.
Nate was very careful with the head.

Sweet.

Nate really liked petting the baby. He's a very affectionate little guy.

You may be wondering where my photos of Maddie and the baby are. I don't have any. As soon as we walked in my sister's house, the girls took off to play together, and couldn't be bothered with a BOY (gasp!) even if it was a baby boy! So that is why there are no pictures of all the grandkids for Oma. We'll get those later.

So, congrats to my sister and her husband. And congrats to me, the best Auntie ever. Welcome to the family Braden Andrew! You have some catching up to do, but don't worry...your cousins will teach you the ways of the Jedi lightsabers, dart guns, water guns and all other forms of weaponry. You'll be an expert in no time!

Happy Birthday Nate!

2010-06-23T07:54:00.003-05:00

Monday was your birthday. You wanted nothing more than to go to Monkey Joe's, in fact you decided that 6 months ago when it first opened, and never forgot about it, so of course we let you choose 5 friends (all BOYS from school, no less) and we went.

You enjoyed being the center of attention, because you never get to be. I don't think you realize how funny you are sometimes, and not even on purpose. You have your father's personality that way...you are smart as can be and have been enjoying winning everyone's money in Monopoly and then you make very dry, funny jokes on the fly. Very much like your father, except you haven't quite developed his evil "I have once again crushed everyone in Monopoly" cackle.

You have grown up so much this year, but are still the little boy who loves hugs and kisses and won't let me leave your room at night without a 'super squeeze'. I'll take it. You like to add and subtract and have developed a talent for asking me questions I don't know the answers to, but that's okay. We can learn some things together.

Weaponry is always good! You asked everyone for SuperSoakers, mostly I think, because you're sick of using your brother's hand me downs and waiting for him to grace you permission. Now you are set.

Happy Birthday sweet boy. You have more heart than anyone I've ever known, but you can still be a stinker. And that is what I love about you the most.

The Good Samaritan

2010-06-18T08:17:00.005-05:00

TuesdayI had a real life biblical experience. I'm not even kidding. The day started out just fine. I picked up Maddie's little girlfriend for a playdate, we went to the freebie show and saw "Flushed Away", the kids pretty much inhaled 2 buckets of popcorn, and then on the ride home I saw it.

3 boys were on bikes. Actually, 2 were off, with one bent over double and waking around as if in pain. And the cars just kept on driving by. So, since this kid was probably older than 12, but somewhere younger than driving age, AND he had that stupid long haired Justin Bieber hair do, I felt bad. So I pulled over and started asking questions. I felt all competent like, having been a former professional lifeguard, and now working loosely in the medical field, and I knew all the right questions to ask in a first aid situation. I took a look at his injured wrist that the kid couldn't even hold straight, much less have the strength to grip his handlebars on his bike, and I calmly asked him to call home. Being a manly man, he told his mom he fell and that he was fine. And then the Cop showed up.

The cop came over and asked if I had hit the kid. I was horrified. "No, Im just trying to help". She had to radio in that I did not in fact hit anyone. Which is REALLY what makes me mad, because she explained that someone called in, and called the fire truck and ambulance were on their way. Which means, someone drove by and INSTEAD OF STOPPING TO SEE IF ANYONE NEEDED HELP they just called the cops. Even if they assumed I HAD hit the kid, isn't it a decent thing to do to stop at the very least? Have we come so busy in our society, or so complacent that we can't even stop to help a young kid who potentially may have just been hit by a car? Trust me, it's a fairly busy road. At least a hundred cars passed us. And no one stopped but me, who apparently someone thought was to blame.

As the police officer questioned this kid, I asked if I could go. She asked if I witnessed anything, and I said no. With a firetruck, ambulance, and another officer on the way, I wasn't really needed, so she let me go.

I'm pretty sure the whole episode ruined the kids' day from embarrassment alone. I don't care...I know I did the right thing. But the question is, did the mystery police caller ALSO do the right thing by calling and leaving?

Leave your thoughts. I'd love to see them.

Tri No. 1- A Success

2010-06-15T07:59:00.003-05:00

This weekend was the first tri of the season for me, and I am very excitedly looking forward to number 2, which is in Wisconsin in July and my friends and their friends who will become my new friends are coming in from Omaha and Michigan to participate. Now THAT'S going to be a blast.

I improved a lot on this race, though I'm not quite sure how, and I feel the need to break it all down for ya. So here goes.

Saturday:

I arrived at the expo in the pouring rain. Before I even picked up my race packet and freebie shirt (which is SO cute by the way) I went to a Kiefer booth (they sell tri accessories) and scored myself a new singlet and tri shorts for $40. For those of you who don't know, Tri accessories can be VERY expensive. The singlet alone should have cost me about $50, but because it is 'last year's model' I got it on clearance, much like I did last year. I love shopping clearance aisles. I don't care if it was last decades model. It functions the same, but the color scheme is different. That is a nonissue with me, because you don't really do these things as a platform for a fashion show.

I also got this really sweet running hat with a built in sweatband that says "Tri Diva" on the front. You can find more cute stuff here: http://www.tridivas.com/boutique-new/index.php

I also got a new cute shirt just for the fun of it. If you want to see it go here:
http://shop.whoohagear.com/category.sc;jsessionid=7246FC4FD435959F0528502251D4395F.qscstrfrnt03?categoryId=5 I bought the black t-shirt, but you can read what it says better on the pink tank top. I actually liked about 4 of their shirts, but chose this one to remind me when I want to be tired and not do something. It's a good inspiration.

Anyways, I finally got my body marking, which you could see from a mile away the old guy made it so huge and went to a 2nd birthday party for one cute as hell little girl. I went to bed around 9.

Sunday:
The big day. Wake up around 4:15. Get dressed in tri gear, along with sweatpants and running jacket. Make peanut butter toast (2 pieces, sprinkled with wheat germ, a tri routine), make coffee, pack bananas and protein bar (I prefer Balance Bars in the cookie dough flavor) and get out the door by 4:35. Drive one hour to the high school parking lot. Ride my bike the 1/2 mile to transistion and begin setting up.

The Swim: 1/2 mile, 13 minutes. I was an orange cap, wave 18. I started at about 8:09, and even though the race was borderline wetsuit illegal as the water temp was 77 degrees, I decided to wear my wetsuit because I am considering going to Omaha to TRI an olympic distance event, in which case I will NEED the wetsuit and along with that, the practice of getting it off quickly. I banged out the swim in 13 minutes, which as an actual swim time is inaccurate. First of all, this is an "M" shaped course in a quarry that goes to zero depth, so when you go around the 2nd and 4th bouys you have to stand up and run around them or your hands drag on the bottom. Secondly, your time doesn't stop for the swim and start for the transition until you are completely out of the water and have run up a sand hill to cross the timing mat. I'm just sayin'.

The swim for the first time ever annoyed me. I was going so well that I literally ran into the group that started 4 minutes before mine did, and several of them had swim buddies. Now, I'm not sayin' anything bad about the swim buddies. These women are here raising money for a good cause (ovarian cancer) and doing a good thing for their bodies. But they took over the "lane", and getting around them was like dodging bullets. They needed to pull over to the right and let the faster swimmers through. At one point during the swim though, I felt so awesome in my wetsuit that I realized that I wasn't kicking, (or at least not very hard) and got pretty pissed at myself. Imagine how much faster I'd be going if I consciously put effort into that kick! Good thing I have a very strong arm stroke!

Transition 1: Took me a total of 3:47, which needs to get better, but it isn't so bad since I was futzing with a wetsuit. Plus, I had a hard time getting my biking gloves on wet hands, note to self for next time. I was smart this time and REALLY cleaned my feet off, because last time I didn't and there is nothing worse than running with sand stuck on your feet.

Bike: 13.8 miles in 44 min 15 seconds. Not bad, but I need to tighten it up. I'd like to do it in 40 minutes. The only thing that bothered me here was that some ladies were out for their Sunday rides, and not keeping to the right. I yelled "ON YOUR LEFT" more times than I can count. I read the rules; no drafting and stay on the right!

Transition 2: 1:40, next time should be a minute, or at least less than 1:40 since all I had to do was rerack my bike and get my race belt on, which you can do as you're moving.

Run: 5k (3.1 miles) in 28 min. 17 seconds. This happens to be my best run time after a triathlon ever. I felt really, really good, but I also decided that instead of sport gels, I'd try these samples of energy chews that I had. They are caffeine and vitamin B all rolled into a chew tablet, and was either the best thing I've ever done, or the worst, because at the 2 mile mark I checked my heart rate and it was about 184 beats per minute, so I decided to NOT have a heart attack and I walked for 1 minute to regulate that a bit. I didn't FEEL like walking, but I didn't feel like dying either. My biggest problem with the run is that I cannot sprint at the end. 3 ladies from my age group passed me right at the very end, and that has pissed me off enough to want to do better next time. I just don't know how to get that extra push, so any advice on that would be great.

Total time: 1 hr. 30 min. 57 seconds. Extremely slow compared to the lady who won in 1 hr. and 1 minute, but my guess is that her training regime does not revolve around 3 small kids. So I'll take my time, but try to do better next year. If I want to compare apples to apples, I guess my goal for next year is UNDER an hour and a half. I can do it. I hope.

Next Up: The Trek women's Tri with my gal pals. http://www.trekbikes.com/women/

It's going to be a hoot!

Happy 7th Birthday

2010-06-09T07:30:00.003-05:00

He's Number One!!!! He's Number One!!! Soccer star, ready for action...my how you have improved!

This is what Cub Scouts is all about. Marshmallow Shooters at a campout. The raccoons certainly got their fill that night. I'm sure of it.

Dear Jack,

Today is June 9th, your birthday. You are 7, going on 27, because you know everything and you are the boss. Well, you try to be anyways. This year you have grown up so much. You can read now, and not just little words in easy to read books. You are reading street signs, and restaurant signs, and we've even taken turns reading Harry Potter books, and your father and I can no longer spell words to each other because you sound them out and can decipher what we are talking about. Though we love how smart you are, sometimes it's hard on us as parents.

You are a natural born swimmer. You hate being at the pool where I can see you, you find the shallow end boring, and so you gravitate to the death defying heights of the 3 meter board, and have even attempted to dive off of it. I think I may have had a mild heart attack.

You are the most creative child I have ever met. I love your "inventions" and your art drawings, and how you have rigged our outdoor playset to resemble an army battle field, complete with ropes and strategically placed weapons. You write stories both at home and at school that make me so proud. You are so, so good at math, and I thank your father's genes for that, because I can barely do second grade math, so don't ask me for any help next year. That's going to be your dad's job.

You have come so far in playing baseball and soccer, and now you want to try basketball. Well, you're tall and skinny, so you may have a chance, but not if my genetic coding has anything to say about it. I am not a natural born athlete by any means, so again, I'm hoping your dad can take over. But, you try hard at everything you do, because you want to be good and you want us to be proud, and you have succeeded at both.

You are kind, and sensitive, and deeply perceptive of things I wish you wouldn't be, but that's just for your own good and because I want to protect you. You have a handful of good friends and buddies that you pal around with and cause mischief with and I love that. Just please stay off the neighbors flower beds and stop shooting squirrles with your marshmallow gun (unless you're at Opa's, because the neighbors there wont call Child Protective Services on a negligent mother).

I hope you have a great 7th birthday. I'm glad you're mine, but I'm not so very glad about you growing up so fast. Tomorrow I will wake up and you'll be off to college, and if I did my job right you'll be gone from me for good, at least until you need your laundry done or a meal to inhale (most likely with the least amount of chewing necessary I might add).

So Happy Birthday Buddy Boy! I love you!

So proud of his new rollerblades that he got to wear for his RollerSkating party with his school friends. Nothing says Fun! And Oh Crap! quite like 15 2nd graders on wheels...some who knew what to do, and some who, uh, um...didn't.

Love those kicks!

Nate rollerskating. He doesn't like it much. It's a lot of work for him.

Oooohh, Happy Birthday Cuppy Cakes!

Oh yes she did put on skates and go around in circles. Not bad for a 3 year old. Not bad.

The Tank Museum

2010-06-06T12:13:00.004-05:00

In the summer, at a moment's notice, I like to just say, "Oh, we're going to do this today". Whatever 'this' may be. I decided I wanted to take my kids to Cantigny http://www.cantigny.org/ and was lucky enough that our local library is in Cahoots with Macy's and you can get various museum passes for free, so aside from the gas it took to drive there and the lunch I packed, this was a fun, free day trip.

Cantigny is the home of Robert McCormick, the guy who founded the "Chicago Tribune" and subsequent Tribune Companies. He was pretty much loaded. He also fought in the First Division in WWI, so there are 2 museums on his property, the 'War Museum" and the "House Museum". I'd have loved a house tour, but the kids were not going to traipse through a one hundred year old house without breaking something. I'm pretty certain of that.

Cantigny also has a lot of gardens. They are beautiful if you have the time to appreciate them, which my children do not, and they couldn't care less that this is how Illinois used to look, before Urban sprawl took over. This is the prairie grass garden. If you look closely you can see the heads of some wee ones...

So this McCormick dude is buried on his property in a tomb called Exedra. It's pretty sweet. The dog statue is remniscent of his pets, becasue I guess he liked them enough to turn them into marble statues. It's amazing what people with money will spend it on, because all I kept thinking about was "Dozer" and "The Keymaster" and Rick Moranis when I saw the Dog Statues. If you have to ask why and what that references then I feel sorry for you.
Seriously kid?

This is walking through another garden. Apparently she got an 'owie' and we had a crisis of epic proportions on our hands. The only thing that could have saved the day was a Dora bandaid and I was fresh out.

Jack really enjoyed the tanks and swinging from the guns. He was actually disappointed that they could only climb on like, 10 tanks that day because several others were being refurbished for the 60th anniversary party. Or something along those lines.

This is trouble in a nutshell.

This is Maddie on top of the tank that she climbed onto all by herself. She is showing you her muscles and making her "muscles" face. Look how strong she is.

I suppose this is the best I can hope for in any phot with me and the kids.

The First Division Museum is cool, but it freaked the kids out. First you walk through the Trenches in France from WWI, complete with 'going underground', and guys on hills shooting at you. Then you get on a boat during WWII heading for Omaha Beach, and you watch a movie that shows reall footage of the invasion. Then you go through a Jungle and can watch what Vietnam was like and lastly there's a display about Desert Storm.

There were several tours going on the day we went, and the tour guide was telling a group of 12 year olds about how Desert Storm was the 100 hour war, etc. I heard one kid whisper to another, "Yah, Dude, I like, have totally heard about this one before!"

Totally heard about it? Buddy I lived it! And now I know how the guy in the jungle 30 yards back must have felt with all these kids coming through. He looked the part of the vet, what with his longish beard, and jacket with American Flags and POW patches sewn on, AND he was correcting the movie (Did you know the TET offensive is pronounced "TAIT". I didn't.) You can always learn something new. Always. Like, how old exactly you really are.....

More Birds

2010-06-03T20:13:00.003-05:00

For some inexplicable reason I am obsessed with these creatures. When I say there were 4 mama birds swirling my head today I am not kidding. Nate and Maddie were watching me take the photos and they were freaking out that the mommy birds and the gramma birds were going to kill me. I have no idea where they have gotten their flair for the dramatic. When do birds start looking like birds instead of something only M. Night Shamalamadingdong could concoct?

This is the bad ass bird. I can tell. He stared down Mr. Can On Rebel and would not back down. This will be the bird that comes back to build a nest in the same tree and will puncture one of my lungs with it's beak, just because he will have some memory of all the photos I paparazzi'd him with.